


Kingdom Come

by nourriam1d



Category: Best Song Ever - One Direction (Music Video), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Boarding School AU, Cheating, Crimes & Criminals, Drug Use, Enemies to Lovers, Falling In Love, Kidnapping, M/M, Plot Twists, Poor Niall, Possible Triggers Are In The Notes Before A Chapter, Prestigious Academy, Reference to Child Abuse, References to Depression, References to Drugs, The Styles Triplets, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2018-07-19 16:29:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 82,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7369198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nourriam1d/pseuds/nourriam1d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall attends Kingsdale Academy, one of the most prestigious colleges in England. After proving himself he finally has friends. However Edward, Harry, Marcel, Zayn, Liam and Louis keep him on his toes. </p><p> </p><p>  <i>"I have a story." Niall says. Louis -who is standing in front of the window- turns around. "We all do." Louis responses. Niall wants to grab him by his collar and shout in his face about how his story is different than the normal ones, but he doesn't. He just nods knowing Louis doesn't want to hear it. He leaves.</i> </p><p> <br/>// Title is from the song Kingdom Come by Demi Lovato. //<br/>// <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/8573629">French translation</a> by <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/DemiLune13/pseuds/DemiLune13">DemiLune13</a>. //</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kingsdale Academy

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Kingdom Come](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8573629) by [DemiLune13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemiLune13/pseuds/DemiLune13)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so I started my new fanfic and I am really happy about it because it is a passion deep inside me to just have this on the internet somewhere exactly how I liked it. There is going to be a lot of drama, but for now most of the characters and story gets introduced.
> 
>  **Triggers: Niall is abused and sometimes there are references.** It's not bad in this chapter.

The room looks like it came straight out the 18th century. The ceiling is high, the colours difference from the dark brown wooden floor tot the broken white walls. There is a huge brown leathered couch standing in the middle of it all and it demands all the attention. In between all the little non functional stuff scattered around are some beautiful vases full of coloured flowers. 

It looks very expensive, very posh. And that is just one of the reasons Niall wants to throw up. It's disgusting everything in here is probably worth more than his entire existence. He walks further into the room looking at the floor to make sure he won't break anything. He wishes to just throw it all away, seeing it's a fucking parkour just to get to the other side. 

Niall opens the white door and walks into the bedroom. There are two beds standing within the said room, but they are on the other side of the room, or as Niall likes to see it on the other side of the fucking country. It's disgusting. They have a huge bedroom, so big that if Niall was to lay down in one of the beds he probably wouldn't even see the other one. Niall shakes his head, moves to the bed that is standing nearby the huge windows and places his duffle bag onto it. It felt weird walking on campus and seeing he was the only one actually carrying his stuff. All of the other students had their chauffeurs carry those crate looking suitcases. He had seen the most beautiful teenagers walking on the campus including some very cute looking guys. That's the only good thing to find on this prestigious boarding school and of course the great lessons.

He had considered to attend a school in America, but he knew he would want to be close to his just moved family. Because of the huge fire in his small hometown last year all of his family had to move to England. It had been rough leaving all he ever knew behind. But in England he had fair chances, people saw him as a smart boy and now he is here. In the best school of the country, scholarship ready to get all straight 100%'s this year, and to Niall's luck still without a roommate. 

In the posh looking envelope he got a few months ago was a rich looking letter saying his roommate was to arrive the same day as him, seeing Niall is already late he wonders if his roommate will actually be here tonight. Not that Niall minds being alone, he just wants to get the greeting over with and forget he is the outstanding guy. Niall shakes his head, stands up from his delicious feeling mattress and decides to take a long shower. 

Feeling refreshed and tired, because of the long drive to this inhumanly impressive school, he decides to just go to sleep. He changes into a pair of boxers and a shirt and lays down in his bed. The sun has set and the darkening sky is all Niall is able to see. He is afraid of what is to come. He has this nerve racking feeling inside him, it makes him want to throw up or run away. Niall doesn't know if it's excitement or gut instinct, he just knows that it sucks. It sucks bad. 

Somehow in the middle of the night Niall wakes up. First he thinks he woke up because of the ticking against his window, but after two minutes he can feel his bladder demanding attention. He goes to the toilet, walks back, sees the other bed exactly like it was before and jumps back under the thick blankets. He closes his eyes and tries to sleep, but before he can do so he hears a loud thud against the window. His eyes shot open and he sits upright. There is a face planted against his window. A curly haired boy stumbles back and looks like he is going to pass out any second. Niall keeps looking at the drunken boy outside his window and raises one of his eyebrows. The boy smiles cutely showing his dimples. In a second the smile turns up side down before he bends over and starts puking. Niall closes his eyes because he rather not see that. The window is slightly open and soon enough the smell of absolute shit enters his room. Niall closes the window and watches the curly boy getting dragged away by a very buff looking guy with thick eyebrows and cute eyes. 

Niall shakes his head. "Stupid rich people." He sighs before he lays down again and closes his eyes. 

+

His roommate turns out to be a very loud guy named Javier. He is from Puerto Rico and very cultured. At least that is what he told Niall 18 times in the past hour. Javier had run into the villa, as Niall likes to call it, already talking. He was talking to his _chauffeur?_ about some Spanish dish he already misses. Niall doesn't like to put labels onto people, but he must say that latino or hispanic people really live up to the expectation of them being loud. Niall is almost scared he is going to lose his hearing if he keeps Javier talking.

"Good to know." Niall says before Javier can get into detail about his thirteen siblings. He had already told his parents life story and his own and was now starting on his siblings. Niall wants to scream. It had been a full hour.

"Oh I'm sorry. How are you?" Javier seems to not care about Niall at all. He had openly rolled his eyes when Niall came out the bedroom looking like he belonged to lay next to the puke on the floor outside. Niall's pants had holes in them and dirty stains, his shirt is way too big and has creases and his hair is not styled making it look like a ugly blond wig. Niall sighs.

"I am good, thank you." Niall walks into the kitchen attached to the the living room and opens all of the cabinets. He is starting to get upset when they contain no food, just pans and pots and stuff like that. He needs to get out and get groceries. He grabs his phone and presses his bank account app. He closes it just when Javier starts talking again.

"I'm going to get some groceries be back in a bit." Niall says, Javier doesn't listen but Niall just grabs his keys, shoes and wallet before he walks out. The hallway is the only place where it is silent. Niall smiles. He puts on his shoes and walks to the door. 

Outside the sky looks like it's getting ready for a storm. Niall shivers, cursing himself because he didn't grab anything to protect him from the cold morning air. There are a few people milling around just standing there and talking. When he passes the groups they look after him, scolding faces. Niall wants to duck his head in and cry. He had wanted to get new clothes, but his mother wouldn't let him. His mother threw all of Greg's clothes to him and swore to the god above that if he wasn't happy enough with those clothes she would show him other things he wouldn't be 'happy' about. 

Niall walks out of the open driveway and just turns right on instinct. He keeps walking for a good half an hour, but the only thing he has seen so far is a small café. He considered stopping there and just get something to eat and to drink, but he has no money and the supermarket is most likely to be less expensive. Niall sighs. He hates that he has to watch every single cent that comes in and out. 

He keeps walking, but there is nothing. When he reaches the 45-minutes he turns around and walks back. He starts to let the tears fall down. It's incredibly stupid to cry when you're walking for such a long time without drinking. Niall does everything to stop himself from crying. It takes over 30 minutes to pass that café again, but this time Niall doesn't walk by. 

He steps on the cute looking terrace and opens the light wooden door. When he enters the café it looks bigger than on the outside. Niall smiles, this is exactly what he loves. It has beautiful pastel coloured walls to make it more bright. The main colour is dark wood, but not as dark as in his room. There are comfortable looking seats around and the bar looks like those you see in movies. 

His eyes rest on the flyer on the counter, it says that they are looking for baristas to work here. Niall makes a quick decision of asking the girl behind the counter about the job. The girl has dark hair tied up in a ponytail and she smiles kindly as she finally notices Niall. There are a few other students of Kingsdale Academy, but they seem too wrapped up in their own businesses to notice him.

"Hi, my name is Katy. How can I help you?" Niall smiles back and orders a good looking cinnamon roll and a strawberry-pineapple smoothie. The café Niall notices is very cheap. He didn't expect it to cost less then three pounds, but it did. 

"Uhm," Niall starts to say, but he isn't sure how to. "Can you explain more about the job?" Niall asks pointing at the green paper. The girl looks to it and smiles. 

"We need someone to cover shifts in the late hours. Mostly nobody comes in so you can do as you please, I used to make my homework then, it's just for four nights a week and the money is good. I used to work that shift, but now I live somewhere else so it's too late for me." She explains. Niall's looks up in surprise. That sounds good. If he can make his homework while earning money he would do any job. 

"Is there a form you need to fill out or?" Niall leaves the question open simply because he doesn't know what else to say. 

"You are in luck, the manager is behind. Let me get him for you." Niall smiles and grabs his smoothie. It is amazing, Niall loves it. He wants to buy five more. Niall looks around and sees a black Ferrari drive by and to get Niall more curious it stops in front of the door. The door of the car opens, but Niall's attention is grabbed by the heavy man walking from behind. 

"Hello, I'm the manager." The man smiles just as sweet as the girl had and Niall cannot help but smile back. "I am Niall and I am interested in this job." He says pointing towards the same green poster. The man nods and beckons him behind the counter.

"Try to help the next costumer and if you get it right you get the job." Niall tries to swallow the lump in his throat. "Don't worry boy, it's just to see if you can be nice and stuff. Katy will make whatever they order and you just do the money and stuff. Later we can teach you how to make every drink in the book. Got it?" Niall smiles, this is easy. The man disappears to the back and Katy throws a mint green hat at him which the name of the café is printed on. Niall smiles as he puts on the hat. He focuses back on the front door, seeing familiar curls. 

The door opens and Niall's breath gets stuck in his throat. It's the same boy from last night, the one who puked outside his window. Niall swallows deep and he hopes the boy won't recognise him. He is gorgeous. Long legs, broad shoulders, expensive looking clothes and the RayBand sunglasses does it for Niall. Howerver there is just something off about him. Niall doesn't know what exactly, but there is this vibe. Cold and hard. Niall feels a shiver running down his back.

"A venti iced skinny hazelnut macchiato, sugar-free syrup, extra shot, light ice, no whip." The guy says looking at his phone. Niall looks bewildered at Katy who shrugs and looks equally confused. 'We don't have that' she mouths. Niall nods and turns back to the guy.

"Sorry to disappoint you sir, but we do not have that." Niall says in a soft voice. He is scared of the guy, the same guy who looked so clumsy last night. The guy's head whips up and he smiles dangerously. Niall wants to cry.

"Okay, let me tell you one more time slowly. I want," he pauses. "A venti iced skinny hazelnut machhiato," Katy races through the kitchen to get what he wants. Before the coffee comes out he starts speaking again. "Sugar-free syrup, extra shot." He watches the coffee going into the cup and smiles. Katy looks a little distressed. When the coffee stops pouring the guy talks. "Light ice, no pumps." Katy nods and closes the lid. She grabs a straw and hands it to Niall. Niall is shaking slightly when he hands it over. The boy just nods and starts drinking.

"Could have been better, work on that." Niall just nods at the dominant voice and Katy does too. There is something about the guy that makes Niall want to please him. Niall nearly snorts, probably a rich guy.

"Edward you idiot, can you come back to the car so we can go?!" Another guy enters the café and looks exactly like the boy standing in front of Niall. The just mentioned boy, Edward, looks behind him and smiles when he sees his look-a-like. Twins. Of course. Niall smiles, so the guy that just entered had to be the boy from last night. Niall already likes him better than the crazy cold one.

"Harry stop screaming." Niall hears, it's from outside. Niall scrunches his eyebrows. A cute nerd looking guy with way too tight pants walks in next leaving Niall speechless, because even though his hair is styles back he looks exactly the same as the other boys, Edward and Harry. Triplets, Niall thinks. Fucking triplets.

"Let me be Harriette, Marcelintje." The two boys sigh and walk closer to the sociopath in front of Niall. 

"I'll have a cappuccino, thank you." Marcelintje says. Niall nods his head and turn towards Katy who is already handing him the drink. Marcelintje takes it with a blushing smile and then looks angry at his brother. Niall shakes his head with fond and turns towards the same boy from last night. Harry turns out to already be looking at him with questioning eyes. 

"Do I know you?" He asks. The two brothers who were fiercely talking to each other look up. Niall nods and smiles unsure. "Uh, you kind of puked outside of my window last night?" Niall says, question in his voice. Harry looks instantly embarrassed. 

"Harry c'mon, learn to control yourself." Marcelintje says. Harry looks him dead in the eye.

"Shut up Marcel, you are no better than me." Niall lets out an imaginary sigh when he realises the guy's name isn't actually Marcelintje just Marcel. 

"Wait, we were at school last night." Edward says turning towards Niall. "You attend Kingsdale Academy?" Niall nods his head and Edward looks _disgusted_.

"Then what the fuck are you doing here? You attend the most prestigious school in England, but you work in this shit thing." Edward says with passion as he stands up and flings his hand through the air to direct to the café as 'shit thing'. Marcel and Harry look like they are dying of embarrassment. Niall feels sorry for them, but he can't help being mad at Edward. Edward who suddenly looks at Niall with interest. He bows over the counter so far his nose almost touches Niall's. 

"Are you poor?" Edward states accusingly. When Niall doesn't react he leans back and smiles evil. 

"You are poor." Edwards says. Harry turns towards Marcel and they both seem to speak with their eyes. Niall swallows and closes his eyes for a good second before looking directly into Edwards eyes. Edward has taken off his sunglasses, making the cold green eyes look wild. Niall shivers once more.

"Don't worry little boy. I won't hate you over the fact you need to work in this shit thing for your money. I won't pester you over the fact that everyone at school has more success right now than you will ever have." Niall wants to slam Edward on the back of his head with one of those expensive looking vases back in his room.

"I will destroy you if you chose to stand in my fucking way." Edward takes a gulp of air and breathes out. "Learn how to make the beverage and listen to what I'm saying, it's important." Niall wants to puke much like Harry last night, but he does not. He will not let them see that he's hurt. Niall is extremely hurt. He knew rich people suck, but now he is sure that he will have no friends in this school, just classmates he wishes to kill. 

"Hold on tight, little bitch." Edward slams a small note on the counter and walks out of the café with his drink in hand. Niall sees that Marcel and Harry both want to apologise for what Edward had done.

"Do not worry about it, he is not you. You do however have to pay for his drink." Harry and Marcel agree instantly and grab their wallets. They both lay down a fifty pound bill on the counter before running after Edward. Edward who is already driving away with the expensive car. 

Niall turns to Katy who is looking at him in utter disbelieve. Niall smiles and he literally wants to cry in a corner for the rest of the day. The fat man emerges from the back, gives Niall his name tag and invites him back tomorrow for lessons in making coffee, smoothies and cleaning the café. Niall smiles when he walks outside of Nuxa. He just heard he can get free drinks and food whenever, seeing the guys from before paid like a ninety pound tip. Niall makes a pirouette when he walks down the large road. 

He strolls over the campus ignoring all the dirty looks. He walk to his building; DragonTale (built in 1856 the Chinese year of the dragon). He walks through the now familiar hallway and opens his door. Javier is standing in the middle of the mess and Niall is so shocked by the scene he can not move. Javier is having a party. Inside, with booze, where there are a thousand useless things just standing around. Niall stands there long enough to hear three things shatter. He closes his eyes like he did back when Edward gave him the humiliating speech and closes the door again. He walks back to the other side of the campus. 

The RabbitNoise building (built in 1867 the Chinese year of the rabbit) is a very tall building. It's about ten levels high and makes Niall want to be taller since he feels like an ant. His building is on ground level but has a huge surface. Niall enters the building since none of the buildings have locks, there is a no lock policy at the school, and goes straight to the elevator. Of course on the inside all of the buildings have been renewed multiple times over the decades. It had always functioned as a school even back when it was only the RatHole, a small building which is now being used as storage. 

Niall has a particular taste in architecture of old buildings and even knew about all of the ten buildings of this school, before he even considered going here. It had always amazed him how the school looked from the sky. It looked like a star. The ten buildings standing in eight different direction with one in the middle. They want to build two more buildings very soon so each one of the animals of the Chinese calendar could stand here. The Cow and Chicken are still missing. 

Niall steps out when the elevator stops on the last level of the building. Without looking Niall walks right ahead to the stairs. He keeps walking up as goal to end up on the roof. He wants to see for himself how the school looks from its tallest building. The door slams open because of the strong wind. Niall steps outside and in no time goosebumps rises. Niall walks to the left side, the right side having nothing but trees to look at. Of course he will enjoy that view when the sun sets because the sun always sets on the west side. He doesn't feel comfortable sitting on the edge so he sits on his knees and just looks from a few meters before the edge onto the school. It is absolutely breathtaking. 

There are dimmed lights shining and even though the sun is still standing on the horizon it makes Niall feel like Christmas is near. The huge glass windows used in all of the buildings gives Niall a perfect view of the inside. One building is full of classroom and he can even see a little from the dining hall. He can also see the party Javier is throwing in his, he means their, room. There are a lot of people and Niall kind of wishes they get caught. But he has no alibi so he could be send home too.

The school has not officially started yet and will not for over a week, but the school wanted as much people already in the buildings so they can start the school year fresh and on time. There were some incidents that happened when the kids where made to arrive just one day before the school started and it had been a huge mistake. Since then the rules changed and now Niall is here. The school of his dreams under his feet as he watches his so long called future finally begin. 

When he wants to move back into the building he notices something on the whole other side of the campus. There is some kind of party going on their too, man those rich people can't have enough can they, and Niall swears he sees two heads of curls. Curls he has seen before. Niall inches closer to the edge and sits tight. He is beyond confused. There aren't supposed to be students there. Unless they broke into the rooms and are now ravishing them. Niall cringes at the though, because he has no alibi and he know it doesn't add up but because of both parties he is somehow scared to be send away. 

Niall leaves the RabbitNoise in the blink of an eye and returns to his building. All the parties are moving from inside to outside seeing that the sun is finally starting to disappear. Niall walks through the now busy hallway towards Javier's and his room. When he gets there Javier is still there, but with four girls by his side, they are making out and groping each other and doing other things Niall wishes they didn't. He clears his voice and when also they finally leave, Javier with an angry looking face, Niall undresses and slips into his bed. 

He doesn't want to party, because he wants no friends and he needs to stay focused. It's just 10.30pm and it is too early for Niall to actually fall asleep after this eventful day mostly spend behind the counter at Nuxa. He climbs out of bed and grabs the garbage can with one hand while the other gets rid of all the red cups - _how basic_ -, cigarettes, shattered glass and plain trash. It takes him a good two hours before he gets it all cleaned up. He even whisked a vacuum cleaner through it. 

He is kind of surprised by the lack of broken things, he had expected way more. He just hopes he doesn't have to pay for everything that's broken because even though it wasn't that much the numbers can climb high. Niall just puts the vacuum cleaner aside and goes to lay in his bed again. He is still not capable of sleeping, but when Javier enters an hour later with probably more than two girls and starts to move towards the bedroom he wants to jump out of the window. 

Javier enters the bedroom and Niall has never wanted a room for his own so bad. Javier is talking in between kisses and Niall wants to puke. Javier probably did not notice him laying here, in the same fucking room. Niall opens the same window he closed the prior night when some shorts lands on his sheets. Niall flights the room in no time and he can still hear Javier saying 'what the actual fuck'. Niall sprints to the now closed driveway and then sprints further into the woods. 

Niall doesn't know where he is going, but it is most likely better than in that room. Niall still can not believe Javier would actually have sex in their, _their_ , room. Niall has had sex of course, but the thought of having to see someone going at it is disgusting. Well it is mostly disgusting since it is not something he enjoys. He enjoys gay people having sex. Not three girls and one boy. God no. Niall walks back to the huge surface in between the RabbitNoise building and the SnakeHouse building (built in 1905, the Chinese year of the snake, making it the second most modern building on the campus). 

Niall hears people laughing loudly. They are walking towards Niall. Niall is happy it is dark outside so he can disappear into the shadows. He watches four people coming his way. None of them are drunk, Niall can't see any of them swinging from side to side. They come closer, so close Niall needs to hold his breath. When there is a small light shining on them he instantly recognises Marcel, Harry, Edward and the guy with the thick eyebrows who dragged Harry with him the other night. He hears something drop to the floor and one of the curly haired boys looks back, staring directly into Niall's eyes. Niall who became visible under the dimmed moonlight shining directly on him. He cannot see if it is Harry or Edward and he is too afraid to find out. The boy slowly rises to his feet still looking at Niall. Niall can't see their eyes, but he knows they can see him. Niall doesn't look away and he can see the moonlight slowly reaching the boy's profile.

"Well hello servant boy." Edward smirks. Niall gulps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language, so if there is a major mistake in this please tell me so I can learn and stuff. Counts for all the other chapters too, but I will only say it one time so you can enjoy the story despite of my rantings XD.
> 
> Hoped you liked it. Everything you'll leave behind is received with happiness. 
> 
> -All The Love
> 
> //ps. This is inspired by Privilege - Miraal (check it out, it's awesome)//


	2. Elevator Skills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **No possible triggers except for poor shaming.**

Niall is relieved the dining hall opens today. It is an exact week before the real lessons will start, but this week a few things already have to be done. Niall makes his way to the hallway, Javier hot on his heels. Niall is a little dubious about entering the dining hall and instantly getting looked at. Their uniforms were ready to be picked up by Wednesday and now it's only Monday making it harder on Niall's life. Niall sighs. 

They walk through the light summer air to the building in the middle of it all. It was a huge church like building built back in 1885 (DogAlly; built in the Chinese year of the dog). You can see both Greek and Latin influences on the building style. It was one of the buildings with less large windows and thicker walls. It had been built originally to indeed go to church in and to protect children from storms or even worse; war. Niall absolutely loves the building. It wouldn't be his first time entering it, but it would be the first time to actually eat and go to school in there. Niall is getting all sorts of exciting. 

Javier isn't behind him anymore and Niall could not give a crap. His loss. Niall walks up the eight steps and enters the large open doors. He wonders if he could push one of them open, but seeing he has never trained one muscle it probably wouldn't even budge. The first thing what you see is a great hall. High painted ceiling, large chandelier full of diamonds, white walls with here and there a small painting, large plants on both sides and a bordeaux red carpet. There is an grand piano standing in the slight curve on the right side. There is no one playing it, but Niall can imagine how beautiful it will sound seeing the acoustic will be perfect because of the grand space. 

Niall walks past all sorts of kids. There are nerdy girls, nerdy boys, popular people and loud people. Somehow it reminded him of a terrible American high school movie with all those little groups standing with each other. The only difference was that these people are actually rich. Niall walks further through another two open doors and enters the great dining hall. High painted ceiling, great walls with old pillars scattered around to make sure the heavy roof wouldn't fall on them. There are large and small tables all standing around dressed up in one colour, baby blue. It might make everything look brighter than it is and Niall himself wouldn't have gone for that particular colour, but he doesn't hate it per se. He would have chosen something like soft yellow or violet. He knows some people have already eaten and some people still need to eat, so he sits down in one of the corners where there is nobody at the table. He prefers to eat alone anyway, at least that is what he tells himself.

He orders a simple omelet with orange juice. His phone died last night and since his charger only works by placing his telephone in a perfect position which was not on Niall's mind last night, making this very awkward since he has nothing to pretend to be doing. Last night in fact had been horrible. First Javier was having sex in the same fucking room as him and then this stupid Edward boy came by and made Niall feel like dying all over again. Niall looks around the dining hall trying to find the boy he thought about last. He doesn't see him directly, but once he sees him in the middle of the cafeteria his breath gets caught. Edward is staring directly at him. Niall chokes on the air in his lunges and last night comes flashing by.

_"Well hello servant boy." Edward smirks. Niall gulps._

_Niall closes his eyes and wishes for them to be gone the moment he opens them again. Unfortunately they are still there, Edward slowly making his way over towards Niall's frozen body._

_"Edward leave him alone." Niall hears Harry say. Edward does not listen and creeps closer. Niall is starting to get trouble breathing._

_"Edward what are you doing? You are scaring the poor kid." Niall's eyes flicker over to the unknown voice, the voice of the cute looking guy who's name he doesn't know._

_"You are right Liam." Edwards voice is loud and clear, it thunders through the still atmosphere. He stops walking and looks back at Liam before turning back at Niall. Niall who is nearly pissing his pants because those keys Edward dropped look a lot like a knife from this terrible lightning. Niall looks back into Edwards cold eyes. He sees something flash in them and Niall considers running. He wants to run so bad. Just away from this sociopath._

_"You are absolutely right Liam. You see, this is a poor kid. Very poor kid. So poor he needs to work in a shitty café just fifteen minutes walking distance from this expensive school. Tell me poor kid. How did you get in?" Niall stands in silence for a very long time. This Edward freak makes him question his own worth. Niall knows they are equal by law, but are they actually equal?_

_"A.. A scholarship, s-sir." Niall can't help but have this little tremble in his voice. Edward smiles sweetly down at him and Niall tries to swallow that huge lump in his throat._

_"A scholarship?" Edwards voice has gone from a low demanding to a high surprised one._

_"Well yes." Niall says nodding his head. He can feel himself getting less scared. Edward seems actually surprised by his answer and takes a step back._

_"Alright scholarship boy." Niall has gone back to shaking now Edwards voice is threatening again. "Nice to meet you. And again, don't stand in the way. I could ruin you and your scholarship within the snap of my fingers." He leaves the sentence hanging in the air between their faces. Niall doesn't know what he had done exactly to get Edward so mad at him, but he knows he will try to not do it for the rest of the year._

_Edward turns around dramatic, making Niall roll his eyes. He cannot believe this dickhead is trying to blackmail him. In fact, Niall can do it right back at him._

_"Stop!" Niall yells, he flinches when he hears his own voice cut trough the silence. He hears a small 'is he an idiot?' from the guys who are just standing there as some kind of audience. Edward turns around again and looks Niall in the eye. Niall squints slightly and opens his mouth._

_"I saw you. I saw you on the upper floor of the MonkeyWise, a place students including you aren't allowed to be." Edward eyes fill with anger as he surges forward towards Niall's body and then Niall comes in action and actually runs away. He runs as fast as his untrained legs can handle. He needs to get away from that maniac. Edward is a absolute douchebag and his friends or brothers are also douchebags for not keeping Niall safe. Niall wants to scream._

_It felt like Edward was going to run to him grab him by his neck and fling him against the wall. Niall would have choked begging with his eyes to be let go. Eventually one of those useless dumbfucks will call Edward over, but Edward will only let go after a warning or threat. Niall is very glad he ran away, but now he doesn't know where he is and he knows he needs to wake up early for breakfast tomorrow and Niall just cannot find his way back. Back to the school, a school with a maniac as student who is out there trying to make Niall's life a living hell. Why?_

Niall looks around the table Edward is sitting at ignoring his intensive stare because he wants to. He sees Harry and Marcel in a conversation with two other girls. A blonde and brunette. He sees Liam sitting there too, Liam with his large muscles and cute eyes. Niall can't take his eyes of him, he is like a super hot model. Liam is talking to some other guy Niall can only see from the back. He holds a straight posture and his chin up. His brown soft hair looks almost curly from where Niall is sitting. His shoulders are normal sized, but his waist gets thinner. There is no question to how wealthy they all are seeing they are wearing the best of the best labels like Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent. 

Niall's attention is caught by Edward who is standing up and excuses himself to move over to, oh god, Niall. He is coming Niall's way and within a few long strikes stands right in front of him. Niall can feel every pair of eyes on him. It's probably unknown that one of the most popular guys walks over to one of the none popular guys. Edward takes a seat right in front of Niall and keeps on looking him dead in the eye.

"Listen, you are to follow me back to the table I came from and then we are going to talk about the information you had the other day." Edward stands up again. Every pair of eyes following every move he makes, including Niall's. Niall nods his head, not sure if he wants to fight the rich guys on this, because no matter how hard he will try he will always be less than them. 

He grabs his plate, but Edwards look tells him he should leave that. So Niall does and he follows him back to the table he came from. Every person in the dining hall is looking at Edward like he is crazy, which is something Niall already knows, but it is nice to share that knowledge with everyone. Even the people at Edwards prior table seem confused. The guy Liam had been talking to is looking absolutely furious. He has perfect blue eyes, cheekbones that can cut through skin and his feathery hair is looking richer than Niall's entire attire. Which in numbers is probably true.

Edward places Niall directly next to him and facing the expensive looking guy. The model raises one eyebrow in question as to why the fuck Niall is sitting with them. Niall doesn't reply and neither does Edward. Slowly the noises around them pick up, apparently they had waited long enough, but since they can't hear anything they start talking to their table. Niall's eyes flicker to the grand door and watches Javier walk in. He is holding a girl around his waist while talking in her ear. The girl seems drunk even though it's 9am. Niall desperately wants to smack some sense into her.

"What the fuck is he doing here Edward?" Pretty guy asks the sociopath next to Niall. Niall looks at Pretty guy who is looking at Edward so Niall turns his head and sees Edward looking directly at him. He starts shaking again. The others at the table have all their attention on them and Niall doesn't know what to do.

"Oh hurry up scholarship boy and tell them what you told me last night." Marcel, Harry and Liam all look confusingly at each other. Pretty guy sits up straighter and is looking directly into Niall's eyes. His stare is cold, demanding and restless. Niall actually thinks Pretty guy is scarier than sociopath Edward. 

"Well, last night I sort of shared some seemingly interesting information." Niall cannot help but feel the need to somehow stand up for himself, even if it's just a sassy way of talking. Pretty guy looks at him with so much disgust Niall wish he hadn't said it.

"Fucking say it already." Edward breathes into his ear making Niall shiver. Niall looks up into Pretty guy's eyes and mutters a few words.

"What did you say?" The guys says. 

"That I told Edward I saw him and you guys on the upper floor of the MonkeyWise, a place you are not allowed to be as student." Niall breathes out. Edward ruffles his hair and whispers 'good boy'. Niall should be worried about the comfort those words send him. It makes him feel special and actually liked for once instead of hated. 

"I understand. But you need to understand scholarship boy," Pretty boy starts talking simply using Edwards nickname instead of asking Niall for his name. "It's Niall." Niall interrupts rudely. Pretty guy clenches his mouth in what Niall presumes to be anger. "Well Niall. You have to understand that we need you to keep that information out of your language. So, what do you want from us?" Niall is taken back. He thought they would easily blackmail him to make sure he doesn't say what he can. 

"I'd like to know why you were there." Niall snaps back. All of this secret stuff really makes him anxious for the answer to that question.

"Fine, you can ask anything but that." Pretty guy sighs in defeat. He knows Niall will not give up soon. They were the ones in the place they shouldn't have been for fuck's sake. 

"Fine, fine. But first you are going to prove that you are trusted with the information we are giving you by answering your stupid question." Niall sits up in excitement, because finally he is getting onto someones good side. Because he knows Pretty guy likes a good challenge. And Niall will be just that.

"You are expected by my room at exactly three o'clock." Niall's eyes go wide and his mouth falls open. "What now Niall?" Pretty guy looks even more furious than when Edward got him to sit at the table.

"I have something at that time." Niall keeps on looking at his hands. He fiddles around with them in hopes that they can take him away, because he rather be anywhere else in the world than here. 

"What is so important you cannot be at my room at three?" Pretty boy asks smugly.

"Uh." Fuck, fuck, fuck. Niall is in doubt. Should he tell pretty boy he has a job or say something else? 

"He has a job at the Nuxa café, Louis." Niall's eyes look at Marcel who suddenly isn't so sure about speaking up. Louis's eyes trial from Niall's face to Marcel's and back to Niall's. 

"You have a job?" Louis asks Niall. Niall wants to answer, but Louis smirks and it shuts Niall right up. "Oh dear Niall. How about we keep that information a secret and you keep your information a secret? I know people here are very disgusted by poor people, because lets face it, you probably don't have enough money for hygiene." Louis taunts. Niall's eyes are wet and why are all this stupid rich people making him feel so bad. He has done nothing.

"Why the fuck are you still here?!" Louis' voice echoes through the whole dining hall, shutting everybody up. Niall stands up and walks out of the doors, begging himself to not look at all the people that are looking at him. 

When he reaches his own room he can hear Javier talking through the door. He opens the door throws one glance at Javier to see if he is having sex, which he isn't. He is talking to someone on the phone and is speaking fluent Portuguese. Niall walks to the bedroom, opens his 2009 laptop and walks back into the kitchen for a glass of water. Javier has been ignoring him since last night and Niall is fine with that.

When he walks back into his bedroom his laptop is still busy trying to work. He grabs the delivery box of his bed and decides to just look into his books then. Biology, history, mathematics, chemistry, English, Spanish and architecture are all there. He flips through the architecture book and is happy to know he will actually learn new things. It had been a risk for Niall, because of his undying love for architecture he knows a lot, which means he will get a lot of already known information thrown at him. At least he will keep up his 100%. 

After a good half an hour his internet is opened and he is typing Louis into it. He clicks on images, but none of them are the Louis he saw a few minutes ago. He sighs. He then types in Marcel, Harry and Edward in hopes that the triplets will have there own Wikipedia page. And to Niall's luck they do. 

Marcel, Harry and Edward Styles are born on the 1st of February 1998 (age 18 years old). They are born in Holmes Chapel, Cheshire East, England. They are known for their parents, Anne Twist (bestselling author) and Desmond Styles (old rock 'n roll artist). They went to Riverdale High and are now attending Kingsdale Academy, year two. The boys, including best friend Liam Payne, have been making their own names by opening restaurants across the whole UK.

"Fucking hell." Niall is flabbergasted by the information he just read. So he scrolls down. He reads about their restaurants, currently they have fifteen restaurants that are all 5-stars and have reservation standing 'till 2020. Niall is impressed, definitely when he reads that all the dishes are grandmother and Harry freaking Styles certified. Harry Styles is a chef. Edward Styles is designer and wine professional. Marcel and Liam both work on the economic side if it all. 

Niall scrolls up and clicks Liam's name. He looks at the picture and sees the exact same kid he has seen three times by now. His thick eyebrows and cute eyes who are staring directly in the camera makes Niall's knees feel weak. So he reads the text.

Liam James Payne is born on the 29th of August 1997 (age 18 years old). He is born in Wolverhampton, West Midlands, England. He moved to Cheshire when he was fourteen years old and became friends with the Styles Triplets. Payne is not only known for his fathers position (president of the English Police), but he also known for the Styles and Payne Restaurants.

Niall's head is starting to hurt from all this information. It makes no sense. Why would they attend this school when they could make Styles and Payne a global success? Niall turns off his pc and walks back into the living room. Javier was watching something on TV, but Niall couldn't be bothered.

"What was Edward doing back in the dining hall?" Javier asks when he notices Niall. Niall shrugs, he doesn't want to answer.

"Louis did not seem happy. I hope you are happy Zayn Malik wasn't there." Niall perks up at the name. "Louis?" He asks.

"Yeah, Louis Tomlinson, leader of the popular group thingy they have going on. You have never heard about Louis Tomlinson?!" Niall shakes his head. Louis does look familiar, but maybe he has seen him on campus before.

"Oh my god. Louis Tomlinson, Oscar award winning actor and upcoming model. Everyone falls at his feet not only his wealth but also because of his mother, Jay." Javier stands up and moves towards the kitchen. Javier made his servant go out and get some groceries. Niall is actually aloud to eat and drink what he pleases. 

"Who is Jay?" Javier drops the glass he is holding and it shatters in pieces.

"Are you a fucking idiot?! Jay Tomlinson, well now Deakin, also grand actress, fashion designer, triple award winning best mother award because she has like seven children. At one point she even dated Leonardo DiCaprio!" Javier is fuming as he steps away from the counter and walks over to Niall. 

"Please tell me you know now." Javier looks begging like into Niall's eyes.

"Oh, yeah I do. My bad." Niall says as he makes his way out of the room. Javier is calling his servant to clean up the mess he made and Niall rolls his eyes. He makes his way to Nuxa about two hours earlier. But he needs to make sure to stand outside Louis' room at three o'clock. He knows Louis doesn't want him there, but Niall needs to know what they were doing there last night. 

When he gets to the café Katy seems surprised he is there already. 

"Niall. Are you just stopping by or?" Niall shakes his head and smiles sweetly.

"Is it possible to start now. Turns out I have something huge at three." Katy nods and beckons him behind the counter. First she shows him how to make all the smoothies. Niall cuts in his hand about four times before he slowly gets a hang of it. It is dangerous having to cut all this fruit. They blend for an good hour, before they switch to the food. They don't serve that much, basically all the basics. Niall doesn't have to make it since it gets brought in fresh everyday, he just learns where everything is. 

Next up is the counter. Niall learns how many times he needs to clean it per hour, which is twice, he also learns how to work the checkout. He knows how to put money in it and how to print receipts. They then move to the difficult part; coffee. Niall cringes at the harsh smell that hangs around. He has never seen so many different coffees in one place before. In the end to test his coffee skills Katy grabs the little note Edward slammed on the counter the other day and starts telling Niall the order.

Niall slaves in the kitchen until he is sweating, because of the damp of the coffee, in the end he passes and they both get the taste of that dreadful smell. It's disgusting. Everything about the drink makes Niall want to puke. In the last half hour he learns how to close the business correctly and then they start talking about when he works. They decide that Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday evening from 7pm - 11pm would be great. 

Niall has a full hour to get to Louis' room so the first thing he does is asking Javier where Louis' room is. Room 45 of the MonkeyWise building. Niall nods and ignores Javier asking why he needs to know that and decides to take a shower. Niall expects that he just can't walk inside of Louis Tomlinson's room even though the no-lock-policy, so with half an hour to spare he walks up to the MonkeyWise. 

He goes inside the elevator and presses in the sixth level seeing it's the highest, but Niall is confused because he saw them on level eight. The upper floor. Why doesn't the elevator go to all the levels in this building. When the elevator dings Niall steps off and turns left. He sees room numbers going down so he walks to the other side. He stops when there is no other place to go but back and he is so confused. Javier said Louis' room number is 45, but this stops at 40.

Niall gasps when he notices the pattern. There are rooms missing and two levels of apartments above him. He needs to find his way up there. If Edward, Harry and Louis can get there Niall sure as hell can too. At least that is what he thinks. He walks through the hallway looking if there are some sort of steps that could lead to the next level, but he sees none. 

He looks at his phone and realises there are only fifteen more minutes before the clock ticks three. Niall knocks on the door he is standing in front of and when a really hot guy opens the door without shirt he just has to look for a full second.

"Can I help you?" The guy asks Niall. Niall eyes shot up and when the guy looks knowingly at him he blushes. He just ogled some guy and the guy noticed.

"I want to know how I can get to the next level." The guy looks Niall up and down and squints his eyes. 

"That is a secret." The guys says, Niall wants to slap him. He needs to get there within twelve minutes. 

"Please, Louis asked for me but I have no idea how to reach his door." Niall says fluttering his eyes and pouting a little. The boy seems unsure so Niall throws in an 'I'll do anything'. The boy winks at Niall who is back at blushing and lowers his voice. 

"They somehow end up there with some kind of code they use in the elevator. No one but them know the code." Niall nods and wants to walk away but before he can the guy grabs his arm. 

"I still want to make use of the service you owe me." Niall looks at him like he had gone mental. 

"Listen hot body," Niall starts feeling confident. The guy takes his arm back and even moves a little closer inside his room. "I am going back into that elevator and we both forget this happened. If not I will send Edward Styles to you. Understood?" The guy nods and closes the door. Niall smiles, knowing a sociopath might also have a positive side to it. 

Niall walks back to the elevator and looks at the numbers. He tries 0102, the birthday of the Styles triplets. The screen above it asks Niall for another number so he presses 3 and waits. 

**Edward Styles is already inside this building. Please try again.**

Niall sighs deeply as he tries to remember Liam's birthday. He looks back at the screen.

**Two more chances.**

Fuck, this is impossible. "Think Niall, think!" He says to himself as he grabs his hair. He had always been good at remembering dates, that's why architecture is easy to remember. 

"Wait a second, architecture." The MonkeyWise was built in 1896 the Chinese year of the monkey. So Niall tries it and presses 1896. 

**Code invalid. Please try again.**

And then in no-time it switches to: **One more chance.**

"Fuck Niall, think." Niall says. Did Javier say anything about the date Louis was born? No he didn't, but he did say another name. Zayn Malik or something.

Zayn Malik.

Zayn Malik.

"Zayn Malik who was not there!" Niall nearly screams. The only thing he needs now is Zayn's birthday. Fuck, where is he going to get that in, he grabs his phone, three minutes?!

He runs outside the elevator, through the hallway then he hears people talking and quickly runs around the corner. They look up to him and he smiles. 

"Can one of you tell me when Zayn Malik is born?" He asks friendly. They all take a look at each other and Niall really doesn't have time for this.

"You mean the son of the upcoming president?" One of them asks and Niall pulls a confused face.

"No I mean Zayn Malik." He says again hoping they get it.

"So the son of the upcoming president?" The other says. Niall shakes his head and looks the Chinese boy dead in his eyes.

"Give me a date." He sees the boy swallowing and Niall remembers that feeling so he softens his look.

"The 12th of January 19- Where are you going?!" He yells as Niall speeds back. He runs towards the elevator, while thanking god for not making other people use it, and types in 1201. 

**Welcome Zayn Malik.**

The doors close and the elevator goes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates won't be daily, but I'm really into jt and my summer vacation just begun so for now enjoy the fast updates. It is not written beforehand.
> 
> Let me know what you thought about Ch. 2
> 
> -All The Love


	3. Game Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Possible Trigges: Drugs Use** , but not a 1D guy.

"Niall?" Louis' face is the first thing Niall sees when the doors open. His face is full of confusion for a flicker of a second and then it's back to the dull stare it has been ever since Niall saw him. Louis is standing with Marcel, Harry, Edward, Liam and three girls Niall has never seen before.

"Hi Louis." Niall says. Louis looks around him before stepping into the elevator pressing a random number and then entering his code. 

"What are you doing here? I told you not to come." Louis turns to Niall when the doors are closed. Niall shrugs, begging himself not to show his fear. 

"You told me to be by your room at three and I am." Niall says matter of factly. Niall sees Louis clenching his mouth again like he did in the dining hall. He pushes some button and suddenly the elevator stops moving. Niall's throat closes up in fear. 

"Louis?" Louis takes a step closer and throws his arm over Niall's hips and draws him closer. Their height is even and Niall tries not to breath too loud. Louis looks at his lips for a long time and then flickers his eyes to Niall. 

"Do you want to live with us upstairs?" Louis asks. Niall nods, but he doesn't know why. He isn't sure of it, but Louis' attitude is bringing him nowhere. Fuck.

"D-Do you have to stand so close? I me-" Niall gets caught off with a single finger in front of his lips. Niall looks down and then looks back at Louis who is looking at his lips again.

"You are going to have to do something for me first." Louis looks back up at Niall and let one finger trail over his bottom lip. "If you don't mind." Louis flutters his eyelashes and Niall is a goner.

"Anything you need." Niall says, Louis smirks and steps back placing Niall back in his mindset from before and curses himself in his mind for letting Louis manipulate him like that.

"I need to know the game plan of our enemy school for the football match this Saturday." Louis says looking at his phone. Niall wants to groan and leave this awful elevator.

"How will I get that and isn't that considered cheating?" Niall asks eyebrows raised. Louis puts his phone away and looks at Niall with slight interest, probably because he had the balls to question Louis and his motives. 

"Last year we were up against each other in the final and somehow they knew our tactics. We lose harsh. We just want them to know there is no way we are letting them getting away with it and by winning this match we will throw them to the last place in our pool. It will be victory." Louis says. Niall gulps noticeably when there is an evil sparkle in Louis' eyes. 

"Fine. Who is our rival and where can I find the game plan?" Niall asks. Louis sighs and lulls his head back.

"I thought you would know scholarship boy, our rival is Queen's College and I don't know maybe the office of their coach Timothy R. is a place where plans can be found." Louis spats sarcastically. Niall really wants to cry. 

Louis presses the button which makes the elevator move again and they both move to stand looking at the closed doors. 

"Have it by Friday morning." Niall nods and even though Louis isn't looking at him Niall knows Louis saw him do it. The doors open and Niall makes a motion to walk outside. 

"Do not run your mouth, scholarship boy." Louis says just loud enough for Niall to hear. Niall steps out of the lift looks back at Louis and squints his eyes a little to show Louis he isn't afraid, but when Louis's cold stare breaks Niall he lowers his head and watch the doors close, covering Louis' shoes.

Niall turns around and walks back to his beautiful room. His mind is clouding with questions. He tries to make it stop, but it only gets worse when he thinks of their motives for inviting him to live there too. 

"Fucking Louis Tomlinson." Niall murmurs as he walks inside. Javier looks up to him with a questioning face, but Niall just shakes his. He can't tell Javier about what happened. He has this feeling Louis will know it immediately when he tells someone a small detail about today and he isn't risking that. Edward may feel like he is in control, but Louis controls not only himself but everyone around them. 

"I heard you were looking for Louis." Javier says and Niall shakes his head again. He really doesn't want to start drama, but he keeps on being curious. 

"Who said that?" Niall asks looking at Javier. Javier is smoking some shit which will probably result in his death one day. He is sitting in a white suit, very expensive looking. He is wearing gold shoes, a gold rolex and gold rings. He even has gold sunglasses plastered in his wild curls. Niall bets that whole look costs more than his childhood house. 

"Just everybody. In one day you managed to be inhumanly popular. What is your secret?" Javier asks. Niall turns up his nose, because he is very scared of his life which is his scholarship. He doesn't need stupid people like Javier lose his attention on what is really important. Getting perfect marks and for now finding that game plan. His life sucks.

"Tell me Javier. How can I get to Queen's College?" Niall says sitting on the leather couch across from Javier. Javier's eyes have turned red because if the drugs and his head is unsteady. 

"You drive out of the school's drive way, go left for a few miles than turn left again and drive for like half an hour before going right and then it's just following the signs." Javier says taking another hit. Niall's roommate is a drug addict and the only thing on Niall's mind is how to get to that school, because it is too far to walk. He has been here for three days and this school is already changing his priorities. 

"Okay thanks Javier." Niall stands up and walks over to his bed. Javier is in a fit of giggles and tries to talk, but is too stoned to do so. Niall shakes his head like he has done so many times by now. He lies in bed and waits for the dining hall to open again for diner. He needs a plan, but first he needs a car and he needs to know how to get in there. Fuck.

After diner Niall walks to Nuxa to do his first official shift. He has some books packed for homework and a bottle of water to drink from. Katy already told him he could have as many drinks for free, but Niall likes water a lot. 

The café isn't busy at all. Niall gets all his homework done by the time he needs to close up which he does so when the clock strikes 11pm. He walks back to his room in the dark, but it feels good. He is not scared for anything because lets face it, nothing happens out here. He manages to get into his room before curfew. 

When he enters his room he sees that Javier fell asleep on the ground with another guy beside him. There are pills laying around them so just to make sure they are still alive he feels their pulse. It's weak, but Niall doesn't have permission to call someone for help. 

He undresses and lays down in his bed. Sleep absorbs him immediately in hopes he will forget that there are only three more days before he needs to have that game plan.

The next morning Niall wakes before his alarm clock goes off because one of those guys is coughing like crazy. Niall rolls out of bed, dresses himself fast before walking into the living room. Javier is still laying like he did the other night, but the guy next to him is standing, his upper body closer to the ground. He is holding his stomach and keeps on coughing. Niall places a gentle hand on his back and rubs a few times. Slowly he takes the boy with him to the bathroom and sits him down in front of the toilet. As if on cue the guy starts throwing up. 

"Good morning to you too." Niall mutters, the guy who is just laying on the ground using Niall's legs as something to lean on and looks up. He smiles weakly and Niall likes his eyes. 

"Good morning." The guy says. He holds out his hand and Niall pulls him up. 

"It's not my school so I better get going before they find me here." Niall nods. 

"Which school do you go too?" Niall says trying to make a conversation with the very hot guy in his bathroom. Did he just now notice the pulp pink lips and cute button nose?

"Uh..." The guy looks like he doesn't want to say it and that makes Niall even more curious. The guy looks at Niall's face, sighs and hangs his head low before he looks up again. "I'm from Queen's College." He says eventually. Niall nods his head and walks out of the bathroom before the words struck him and he turns around really fast. 

"Our rival, Queen's College?" Niall says. The guy blushes and looks so afraid of what Niall might do next. Niall puts a hand on his shoulder and smiles.

"I actually need a ride to get there, is it possible to get it from you?" Niall says his eyelashes fluttering. If it worked so good on Niall yesterday it sure as hell should work a little on him. 

"Yeah sure. If you want to yeah." The guy says nodding. He looks relieved, but Niall doesn't want to play in on his insecurities. 

"Actually, I also need a tour around the school. Probably not in your league of skills right?" Niall says. He closes the space between them and looks at the guys lips. He keeps on looking, before they open. He looks back at his eyes who are focused on him.

"I can give you a tour." The guy says. Niall smiles and steps back. "Really?" Niall asks. "Yeah why not, right?" The guy shrugs and Niall smiles wider. Louis' tactics work and Niall is so relieved it did. 

"When are we leaving?" The guy asks Niall. 

"How about we shower first get some breakfast and then go?" Niall answers. The guy just nods and let Niall explain how the shower works.

After they are both showered and have eaten something they walk towards Kana's(the good looking guy) car. When Niall steps out of his building all of the eyes are plastered to him. Everybody looks with judging eyes at him and Niall wants to cry. He didn't know rich people liked drama so much they want to be in the middle of it. 

"Why are they looking at you like that?" Kana asks. Niall shrugs, he doesn't want to explain the fucked up situation to someone who doesn't even go to his school. When they near the parking lot Niall catches Louis eyes who looks knowingly at the guy next to him. When Louis finds Niall's stare he mutters Kana's name and Niall wants to scream. Is he doing this right? Is he doing it wrong? His questions are answered when Louis winks at him. That means good shit.

They drive to Queen's College in absolute silent. When they get there Niall's tour starts. Kana walks fast through everything, the campus, the main building, the sport fields, the outdoor classrooms and more but he doesn't see the coach's office. Niall tries on just asking Kana.

"Uh.. I actually need to ask the coach of the football team something." Niall says. Kana looks at him for a second, but when Niall's face doesn't crack he nods but stays where he is.

"The coach doesn't work on Tuesday." He says. Niall nods and walks back to the parking lot. He jumps in the bushes nearby and waits for the campus to clear up. He is lucky this school starts there lessons a week earlier then where he comes from. He needs to find the coach's office like right now. It's the perfect timing. But how? 

Niall makes his way through the giant doors and walks towards the reception. There is a 40 year old looking man sitting behind, typing away. Niall opens the sliding window and when the guy looks at him he smiles.

"I am new and I am wondering how I can get to coach Timothy R." Niall says. The man looks at him and leans back in his chair.

"He doesn't work today." He says. Niall smiles sweetly, he knew that already.

"Oh I know, but some other teacher told me to put my registration in his file which is next to his office door." Niall says. That's how they do it on Kingsdale Academy. 

"Okay." The guy nods. Niall breathes out in relieve. "Go down those stairs, turn left walk and turn right after three times and on the end you will see his office." Niall nods.

"Thank you." He walks away after closing the window and walks down the steps. He has never felt more alive than right now. Nobody is downstairs and it creeps him out a little, but it's nothing he can't handle. He looks at the clock hanging on the wall. He needs to be back in his room by 4.30pm to make himself ready for the huge diner tonight. He still has like four hours to go. 

He walks through the last hallway to get to the office. He tries to open the door, but it won't budge. Fuck. They apparently have locks on this school. Niall looks under the doormat, the edge above the door but there is no key to be found. He needs to get in there does he want to please Louis. Niall walks back and tries to find something that looks like it could open a door. The only thing he finds is a little pass and he just takes it with him. At the door he tries the signature credit card move, but it doesn't work he sighs and turns around. When he hears a beep as his back touches something he turns around. 

There is a black device hanging on the wall and Niall just turned it on. There is an opening on the front so he tries to put the credit card in there. It gets stuck and the device shows numbers. Niall sighs another code.

"Do this people get worked up by codes or something?" Niall asks himself when he presses four zero's. His ultimate plan doesn't work, but he can try 1234. The bulb under turns green and Niall tries to open the door. It opens and Niall has never been so impressed by himself and so unimpressed by the school system. He turns on the lights, closes the door behind him and walks further into the office. 

He walks over to the bureau and flips through the pages. When he finds nothing he opens the drawers one by one to see if there is anything in there. When he gets to the last one he hears loud people somewhere in the hallway. Niall's hand stills in fear and he silently closes the drawer. The voices come closer and Niall looks around trying to find a hiding spot. He walks past the door, turns the lights off and sits behind one of the desks. He hears the door open and Niall stops breathing in fear of getting heard. 

"Are you sure about this? I mean I don't think they are trying to steal our game plan." One of the guys says. Niall doesn't like eavesdropping, but this could be important.

"I promise you. It's better if we hide it at my place. Nobody will find it in my bedroom." Kana says. Niall wants to scream. Kana knows what he was doing. Fuck. 

"Fine. Lets just hope the party on Thursday night won't tear it apart." The other guy says. Niall smiles. A party at Kana's house two nights before the game. Niall can work with that. Well that's what he thinks. He hears them walking around and eventually leave. Niall stands up and makes his way to the door, but it again doesn't give in. Niall's eyes widen when he realises he is stuck. 

Niall walks to the windows and tries to open one of them. Thankfully the last one opens and Niall climbers out. He stands up and the only thing he can see is grass and a huge white wall. He closes the window when he hears footsteps stop by his side.

"What are you doing?" Niall's head snaps towards the voice and there is avery scary looking guy standing right there. Niall doesn't think about and runs. He runs of the campus, back onto the road. 

"That was a disaster." Niall says as he stops running and decides on walking the rest back to his dorm. 

+

The dining hall looks even more extraordinary than it did before. There are huge deep red curtains hanging in front of the windows. The tables have gotten an upgrade since they are now black with white accessories on top of them. There are waiters running around in high class clothes and there is even an open bar by the side with the most fanciest of drinks. 

Everybody is dulled up in suits and beautiful dresses and Niall feels like he is an intruder. He is wearing black jeans with a few holes in it and a white blouse with one ugly stain. He has tried to cover it, but Javier wouldn't let him be late or give him one of his thousands suits. It's no wonder that Niall gets dirty looks every time he walks by somebody. In all honesty he would do the exact same. 

"Tsk. Scholarship boy can't even pay for a nice non-stain suit." Niall turns around and faces Edward. Edward looks sharp, his curls fall to the side and his eyes are glistering in the light. His suit is Armani and even his perfume smells like money. Niall wants to hold it so bad. He heard good things about thousands of dollars suits. When his eyes have done their trial all the way down to Edwards expensive looking shoes back to his face Niall sees Edward smirking down at him. Niall wants to walk away.

"How about you come with me and I lent you one of Louis suits." Edward says. Niall is already shaking his head by the 'come with me' part and he keeps on shaking his head through the sentence.

"I can't do that, but thanks for the offer." Niall smiles and then turns around to walk away. All of the tables have people seated at them and Niall hangs his head low. He walks towards the bar and plunges down on one of the high chairs. In a few minutes their head mistress will welcome them to the school and as soon as the rest starts eating he will leave. 

He gets a beer, but doesn't touch it. He waits and waits while all the other kids are talking excited to one another. Niall wants to cry. Why does he only have frenemies and roommates but no real friends? What has he done to deserve this? 

The whole dining hall silences when an African American woman walks onto the small stage. She is looking absolutely fantastic. Her high heels demand attention and even the dress fits every curve perfect. Her hair is wild and professional at the same time. She adjusts her glasses before clearing her throat.

"Welcome everybody and welcome to a new year here at Kingsdale Academy. I hope you are all ready for a fun year full of new information. Please remember to have a great experience here and maintain good grades. We know you are all able to do so. You are the best students in the country and we hope to see you evolve in an even better one. But before the lessons really begin and the fun dulls down a little. Please welcome you class presidents Edward Styles and Vera Bimon." 

Everybody jumps onto their feet and cheer very loudly. Niall has never seen something like this before. He hasn't seen people getting so worked up about class presidents. Edward, the the evil triplet, walks up the stage first waves at the crowd and then another set of cheers for Vera, a very pretty girl with glasses. She smiles sweetly and in seconds looks Niall in his eyes. Shee keeps looking at Niall for the remainder of his walk to the microphone and Niall feels tingles all over. 

"Students!" Edward says and again the whole dining hall is cheering. Niall feels like he is surrounded by total idiots. "Please calm yourselves. We need to talk about the importance of grades and school and that you should always keep your future in mind." A few people look at each other like Edward is crazy and Niall does too. Why does everybody think they're all high and mighty when the only thing they talk about is school?

"But of course we aren't doing that because that would be way too boring." Niall looks at the head mistress and the only thing he sees is fondness. "We would like to state that you are never too drunk to take a test, never too high to have sex and never have too much money to make this few years the best of your lives." The whole ding hall is cheering again and Niall really gets freaked out by them. This is horrendous. 

"Well well Edward." Vera takes over and all the people seem to know exactly what she is going to say. "You all hopefully know that the only reason Edward is saying that is because he likes you to scream." The whole dining hall silenced and in no time the first laughs fills the room. Niall shakes his head. This is terrible.

"We want you to come to us if you think you are treated unfair or if you have questions about your dorm and school activities. For the rest you can also come to Edward to scream," Vera smirks and Edward is laughing so hard beside her. "And you can go to Vera to get soft." Edward ends. The whole dining hall is laughing even the two students on stage.

They then open the dining hall with a better, more serious speech and then everybody is giving their order to their assigned waiter. Niall drinks his beer for only half before he walks through the dining hall back to his room.

He grabs some cereal and starts munching on them when he walks over to the couch. When he sits down and looks around for the remote control, but the only thing he finds is a white card stuck in between the cushions. Niall grabs it and reads.

_Kana Samuels; Your Private Chef  
Queen's College, Queen's Tower, Room 55_

Niall doesn't read further since this is all the information he needs to know. On Thursday evening he will be there, ready to grab the game plan so he can prove himself to Louis Tomlinson. He will manage to show them he has balls and because of him they will win the game Saturday.

Niall smiles because his life is about to get way more easier, because after Friday morning he is done. He is ready to focus on what is important, but for now that will be watching TV with cereal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tadaa ch. 3  
> I hoped you liked it :)
> 
> -All The Love
> 
> (Ps. Did I say that Niall wants to cry a lot too much, because I said it like 4 times XD)


	4. Painful Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Trigger Warning: Kidnapping and violence.** Lots of drama.

Thursday night came faster than Niall thought it would. These two days he had made himself busy doing pre-school work, like reading his school books and making summaries. Javier had called him out for being a loser and an idiot even though Niall really didn't give a fuck he somehow did, because there was this small sparkle of fear when he thought that Javier would tell everybody and then Niall wouldn't even be friends with Louis. Niall shakes his head as he thinks back.

He only saw them in the dining hall. He was always on time to see the giant doors open at 6am in the morning. He sat alone at a table in the corner and when he was nearly done some of the guys would walk through and claim the table in the middle. They saw Niall, Niall could see it, but they didn't say anything. They ignored him when he walked by and when he looked back this morning at the table Louis was looking at his ticking two of his fingers on his wrist implying that the time is ticking. 

Now it's past 10pm and he is walking to Javier's car with the stolen car keys. He heard Javier talking on the phone this afternoon about when he was going to the party. Javier is out with some friends drinking and it gives Niall just enough time to unlock Javier's car, bring the keys back and climb into the car. When he opens the door of the red Audi someone grabs his wrist. He turns back and looks Louis straight in the eye.

"This isn't your car." Louis says bringing Niall closer. Niall looks Louis straight in the eyes, bringing himself to not fall for his lies again.

"I am aware, thanks." Niall says wanting to step back, but Louis keeps him close. 

"What are you doing tonight?" Louis asks as if he really wants to be with Niall tonight.

"I'm getting your fucking game plan." Niall sneers. Louis is playing with his head like before and he is getting tired of his own thoughts. 

"Can I help?" Louis asks cocking his head to the side. Niall scrunches his eyebrows and looks at Louis like he has grown two heads.

"What? You want to help?" Niall asks one of his eyebrows higher than the other.

"You're going to the party right?" Louis asks, Niall nods. "I don't think you are planning on staying the night?" Niall shakes his head. "I was planning on walking back." It's now Louis' turn to shake his head. 

"I'll bring you and I'll take you back." Louis says grabbing Niall's wrist with one hand and closing the door of the car with the other. He grabs the car keys and let them fall in front of the door. Niall lets himself be pulled to a black car with tinted windows. It's less of a sport car, but more of a big event car for like a grand entrance. Niall gets placed in the passenger seat. He looks around the dashboard, it is clean and seems rich. When Louis sits next to him and starts the car Niall winces.

"What?" Louis asks driving out of the parking spot. Niall looks at Louis who keeps glancing between him and the road. 

"Uh.. Everything seems so clean and I just realised the bottom of my shoes are anything but clean." Niall says he twitches his right foot so Louis can see the dirt on them. Louis sighs and shakes his head. Niall feels terrible.

"I can like, clean it if you want?" He asks Louis who stops on the side of the road. 

"Throw your shoes out of the window and fold the cloth beneath your feet and pass it onto the backseat. I'll let my servant bring it to the dry cleaner tomorrow. If your socks are dirty throw them out of the window too." Louis says not looking at Niall. Niall looks at his shoes and he desperately wants to say no, because it has been his only pair for years now. 

"But these are the only shoes I have." Niall says quietly, almost whispering. Louis looks at him with utter disbelief, until realisation crosses his face and Niall has to look the other way. 

"Just how poor are you?" Louis asks. "Don't worry about answering, I'm just curious that's all." Louis says the latter part softer. It's a total different side on Louis than before when he ordered Niall to take of his shoes and throw them away.

"What do you want to hear? The exact number of pounds I have or do you want to hear stories about the past in which it gets clear that I'm poor?" Niall asks a bit rudely. He grabs his shoes and throws them out of the open window. With angry huffs he folds the cloth and throws it on the backseat. When nothing happens he feels terrible, because Louis is just curious about his way of living. 

"Sorry. It's just feels like you're making fun of me." Niall says. Louis just keeps looking at him and doesn't say a word. In a matter of seconds Niall is squirming under his gaze and wants to get away, or at least drive away. 

"My mother isn't that poor. I am. We were a happy family until one day and after that we became poor, still not that poor I could only afford one pair of shoes, but because of reasons I wasn't worth the money and therefore have to get it myself. Which sucks." Niall says. He doesn't get into detail about it because it's too hard to talk about. Niall sees Louis nodding, but he doesn't say anything nor does he start the car. 

"Are you okay now?" Louis asks Niall. Niall nods and eventually Louis drives away. The rest of the car ride is silent and Niall feels regret flowing in his veins. He shouldn't have said that. Louis now knows more than Niall originally wanted him to. They pull up on the driveway of the school and Niall can see Javier's car parked a little further. He drove past them when they stood on the side of the road. 

"You have half an hour before your ride leaves." Louis says looking out of his window. Niall nods and opens his door. The tiles are cold under his feet so he closes the door and runs towards the people. They are standing everywhere, most of them already drunk the others tipsy. He walks through the hallway smoke everywhere. He coughs and pushes his way through the crowd. People are dry humping around him and Niall feels himself getting more woozy. He sees an open door and walks into the room. 

A cloud of dry smoke hangs above his head. Red cups and sweaty bodies everywhere. He tries walking faster, but he slips because of a beverage on the floor and winces when his back starts to hurt. He gets lifted by some strong guy and Niall tries to wriggle out of the hands. Because of the smoke he can't see clear. The guy brings him to another door and he hears even more people now. He can faintly hear Javier's voice and Niall knows he is there. 

He gets thrown onto a chair and immediately sits still. Too scared to move. Suddenly a blindfold is placed in front of his eyes and it gets tied behind the back. He tries to lift his arms but he can't since they are also tied up. He wriggles and wriggles, but nothing helps. Even his legs are tied up. He can't move and strange hands keep touching him. He tries screaming, but because of the lack of oxygen he can barely get a few words out. 

"Shut up." Some guy says. Niall closes his mouth directly and even his movements fall still.

"Are you ready to confess why you're here?" Another guy says. Niall shakes his head and out of nowhere he chair gets pulled back making Niall feel like he is falling. The chair stills in the air and then a cloth is placed on his mouth and nose. Water spills on it, making Niall feel like he is drowning. He shakes his head from side to side but when they close his nose and water fills his mouth his heart falters in its beat. The feeling of dying is back, but before he can actually die they remove the cloth and pushes the chair back on the floor. 

"Why are you here?" The same guy that told him to shut up asks. Niall opens his mouth, but only a small whimper comes out. He is breathing irrationally hard and his chest shakes. When is heart feels less like a stone and his lungs stop burning Niall clears his voice.

"I am here to enjoy the party." Niall says. The chair does really fall down now and Niall's feet are grabbed. His socks get removed and then something, what he thought would never happen, happens. They tickle him. They press their finger tops into the balm of his feet and Niall squirms around his seat laughing like a hyena. They keep tickling and after a few seconds Niall has more and more trouble breathing. They don't stop and Niall feels light headed. He tries to look, but his head keeps lulling from side to side while chuckles fill the air.

"Stop, please." Niall makes out. He is out of breath when they stop. He wiggles his toes. He tries to regain control over the pounding of his heart. The chair is pushes back into its first position. 

"Can't you just say you are here to steal our game plan for Saturday? It makes things easier for us and for you." Another guy sighs. He is standing in front of Niall. Niall who still feels light headed, out of breath and dehydrated. Niall shakes his head and before he can notice the chair falls back by the force of a guy punching his stomach. Niall screams loud enough for some party people to hear. A piercing scream higher than intended makes its way to their ears. Niall feels an incredible amount of pain stinging through his organs. It feels like all of his organs are pushed aside to make room for the inhuman pain. 

Nausea makes Niall wants to scream. He hates feeling like he is going throw up any second. It's like his childhood all over again. Not getting his daily needs, getting punched and people being unreasonable mean to him. Niall lets the tears fall then. He waits until his ears works again and even his mouth is too dry to swallow. He wants to disappear and never return back. Louis, Edward, Harry, Marcel and Liam aren't worth this pain. And yet, Niall is here. Being hit blue and bruised because they gave him a mission. 

"If it isn't you then how do you know there was going to be a party?" Niall feels his throat burning and he tries to answer, but he needs water first. He groans, puffs and sighs when he can't even mumble one single word. His head hurts from the fall having smashed on the floor carpet. His head feels like it is going to explode because of the pain. He can't think without hurting his brain cells. He can't speak without water. Niall is doomed.

"Give him some water." Niall breathes in and holds his breath scared for them to drown him again. It's worse than tickling, the feeling of being almost near dead. Instead of a cloth a small water bottle is pressed against his lips and Niall sucks the water down greedily. They remove the water in time and Niall clears his throat. 

"A.." He clears his throat again. "Guy told me." Niall says trying to make it sound convincing. 

"Guy told you? Well fuck, we do have the wrong guy." One of the guy says. They all start untying Niall and soon he is looking into clear brown eyes. The guy smiles at him. 

"Here." He hands Niall the bottle of water. "I'm sorry, but we are very protective over our game plan." Niall just nods and starts drinking water. He stops when another guy hands him medicine. He swallows it and says his thanks. He stands up slowly and walks to the door.

"Do you know another boy who looks just like you?" One of the guys says. Niall shakes his head and winces when it hurts. "Okay. Just be careful yeah? Maybe lay down in the other bedroom right from this one? If someone comes in keep them from coming to close by the pillow. We are sure he knows where the game plan is." Niall nods and turns around.

"Even though you really did me wrong, thanks." Niall backs out the door and walks to the bedroom next. He grabs the papers under the pillow and folds it. He puts it in his bag which he hides under a giant jacket. He looks at the clock and sees that there are only a few minutes left before Louis drives away. He sees a window and opens it. There is a fire escape right outside the window and Niall smiles.

He climbs out of the window which he closes when his feet reach the steel platform. He walks to the stairs and starts the twirling way down. When he reaches the ground he walks over the campus. In the corner of his eye he can see the guys who were with him walking around desperately looking around for his look-a-like. He is nearing the end of the crowd when someone walks up to him and punches him in his face. His head flings back and he can feel his eye getting bruised already. His hand comes up and feels his right cheekbone. There is a deep cut, because of the guy's ring. Another guy comes closer and pulls Niall back to the ground. 

"Sorry, sorry. He didn't know we had you already. Shall I walk you back to your room?" Niall shakes his head and disappears in the crowd. When he gets to the parking place he can see Louis driving away. He takes a small sprint hands high up in the air. Louis notices him and stops the car. Niall walks to the passengers side and opens the door.

"Can I step in?" He asks. Louis takes one look at his face and raises an eyebrow. "Why not?" He asks back. Niall closes his eyes and lets the dull in his face rest. 

"Because I am bleeding on places where I don't know." He sighs. Louis signals him in with his head anyway and Niall does as said. He steps in and makes sure only his arse and his upper thighs are touching the leather seat. 

"What happened?" Louis asks. Niall looks at Louis who keeps looking at the road fighting his instincts to make sure Niall really is okay. 

"They kidnapped me, thinking I was there to steal the game plan." Niall says soft. Louis nods and and takes a turn. "You can't be so beat up if they just kidnapped you." He says next, making Niall uncomfortable.

"They used some tactics to try and get shit out of me." Niall says again not giving details. What if he gives Louis ideas or something?!

"Fine, don't tell me." Louis says riding in his personal parking spot back at their school. Niall opens the door and wants to step out but Louis stops him. 

"Are you okay? Can you walk back or do I need to go to the nurse with you?" Louis asks with closed eyes. Niall looks at all the details in his face and smiles sadly.

"I'm okay. Thanks for driving." Louis electric eyes give Niall a shudder before he closes the door and walks to his room. Louis is behind him, but walks to his own building when Niall turns to his. He keeps walking until he reaches his door and enters. He closes the door behind him and lets himself have a moment of realisation. The conversation with Louis in the car, the kidnapping, the beatings, the game plan, the punch and the drive back. He goes to the kitchen grabs a fist aid kid and a glass of water before he stalks towards the bathroom. 

In the bathroom he cleans himself, takes more medicine and cleans up the mess he and Javier made today. He throws his clothes into the laundry basket Javier bought and walks back into the bedroom to lay down in his bed and close his eyes. The pain in his head and chest lulls him to sleep with tears streaming down his face.  
The following morning he wakes up feeling rested. His head, chest, face and stomach still hurts a lot, but it doesn't feel like he is dying anymore. He showers without knowing how late it is and if Javier is here too. He makes himself a glass of water with three painkillers and drinks it down in one breath. He clothes himself and again cleans up his wounds with alcohol and bandages. His right eye is a good shade of purple and blue. The cut under that is less burning red than the night before. The wound on the back of his head feels better too and even the skin surrounding it feels less irritated. He wraps a bandage around his waist to lift the pain that settled there. 

As he walks past the couch he sees a balloon he didn't see the other day. He walks over there and on the threat that runs down from the yellow balloon is a box of shoes. Adidas. He opens it and there are simple black and white sneakers lying in there. He sees a small note on the side and grabs it.

_Dear Niall,_

_Because you are at least worth this much money for all I know you. Please keep them clean so you can drive with me instead of having to throw them away._

_\- Louis T._

Niall tries them on and of course they fit exactly like they should. He smiles as he walks out of the door. Louis might be an absolute dick from time to time he really does have a good heart.

He walks to the dining hall with the game plan in his bag and his head is hung low. He walks past the groups of people who have already heard he got beaten up the other day seeing a few of them screamed at Niall to show them his face. His face that is perfectly hidden under his cap. He walks past the head mistress who is talking with Marcel and Liam about school stuff, but he gets stopped by her words. 

"Young man. Headwear, except for religious beliefs, are against the rules that our school provides. Thereby I have to ask you to take of your headwear right now." Niall turns towards her and slowly reaches his arm to get his headwear off. The dining hall is sitting in absolute silence and Niall can feel their eyes staring into his posture. Niall raises the cap and gives it towards the outreaching hand of the head mistress. His hair falls in front of his face and it takes him every ounce of self control to look up instead of running away. 

The first thing he sees is the shocked face of the head mistress and behind her even Liam and Marcel look with big eyes at him. People around the dining hall start whispering about who could do that and why. The head mistress nods her head, knowing she can't do anything about it.

"Find my office somewhere today, please." Niall nods his head while he looks into the silent begging for forgiveness eyes of Liam and Marcel. 

"I will." He says before he turns around. More people seems shocked by his appearance including the table in the middle. Niall looks around the ding hall ignoring the curious stares and tries to find a place for him to sit. When he sees nothing he turns around and tries to walk out of the doors again. 

"Wait, Niall!" Niall turns his head when he hears Marcel say his name loudly. Not screaming yet.

"You can sit with us." He says smiling sweetly. Niall looks at the table in the middle where three girls leave the table leaving Edward, Harry and Louis sitting there. Louis nods when Niall looks him in the eye and even Edward seems less threatening. Niall nods, glances at Marcel and walks with all the eyes on him -again- to the table. He sits down a bit far from Louis until Louis pulls him closer.

"Hello Niall. Seems like your cuts look better than yesterday. Does it still hurts?" Niall looks at Louis with a blanc face. Niall hears Liam and Marcel sitting down around the table. Niall looks around the table seeing curious and understanding faces except for Edward who looks unimpressed. Niall is glad someone hasn't changed. Edward looks him in the eyes and smiles evil.

"Do you at least have the game plan or did you get beat up for literally nothing?" Edward says huffing. Everyone except for Louis looks at Edward with disbelief. Marcel even mutters 'you don't do that Edward, you just do not'. Louis looks at Niall with a less judging look.

"It's okay if you don't I wouldn't have gotten it if I started bleeding from the back of my head either." Louis says his voice getting stricter as the sentence continues. 

"Don't stress I have it." Niall says looking directly at Edwards who's grin disappears in seconds. Niall grabs his bag and throws the papers on the table. Louis grabs it and looks at it. He studies every single page until he looks around the table and smiles at Niall.

"Welcome in scholarship boy." He says. The other guys start hollering and making funny noises until Niall is laughing like crazy begging them to stop. It's a nice feeling being a part of something. Niall never had anything. He didn't have a family (he got to call family), he didn't have friends, he didn't have a pet and he didn't have heart filled with love. It is changing though. Niall can feel it in his bones. He feels his chest growing with fondness already. 

"When are you going to move in?" Liam asks. Niall shrugs and looks at Louis who is smirking.

"He already moved." Niall raises his eyebrows and looks around the table. Harry's eyes shine in the light that falls in by the side. He smiles at Niall and Niall blushes. 

"What do you mean?" Marcel asks Louis. Niall focusses on that conversation instead. 

"I have some people collecting your stuff while you're here and move it to the open space. You'll be sharing a room with Marcel." Louis says looking at Niall.

"I have like one giant gym bag full of shit and that's it. You send people for a gym bag? I'm sorry, but that was worthless." Niall says making himself and the people around laugh. The waiter comes and Niall orders a simple bowl of cereal. The people he is sitting with all start talking to each other. Niall looks at Louis who is already looking at him and smiles.

"Thanks for the shoes. I love them." Louis looks down at Niall's shoes and nods. "You got beat up for a game plan I think you deserved a gift." Louis says. Niall just nods and says thank you again before all of the attention of the dining hall is on the giant doors. People are backing out of their way. And Niall looks around confusedly. He looks back and sees the most handsome man on earth walk in clothes made of golden hands walk into the room. Louis, Marcel, Liam, Harry and Edward all stand up in unison and Niall clumsy follows fast. 

"Zayn always needs to have the attention. That fame whore." Edward chuckles. Niall looks around and sees the boys smiling from ear to ear. He heard that name before. Zayn. 

Zayn Malik, the son of the upcoming president. 

Zayn walks directly at the table in the middle and sits down on the other side of Louis. Louis pats him on the back and smiles.

"Welcome back Zaynie." Zayn smiles and engulfs Louis in a hug. Niall hears them say sweet things to each other. Zayn opens his eyes while hugging Louis and sees Niall. He glances up and down and Niall swallows.

"Who is this?" Zayn says licking his lips. Louis looks in between the two of them and smiles.

"This is Niall. He joined us today." Zayn looks him up and down, his eyes lingering on Niall's feet. Niall knows why, the new shoes don't go with his beaten up face or teared up clothes at all.

"Why does it seems like he is homeless with a good sense of footwear?" Zayn asks. Louis just looks at Zayn like what he says is normal. Edwards smirk returns and Liam looks painfully in between the three boys on the opposite side. 

"He lacks money and he got beaten up yesterday doing a very brave thing for us. Please give him some rest from what I've seen of that wound on his head he sure as hell is injured pretty bad." Marcel says looking around the table. Niall wants to die when he sees the look on Zayn's face.

"Is he really in?" All the boys including Edward nod their head and Zayn sighs.

"Fine. I want to know why and dear god, Niall." Niall looks up. "You're getting a new wardrobe I need your size." Niall chokes on his drink and looks at Zayn with a confused face.

"What?" Niall asks as he is done sputtering.

"You're getting a new wardrobe. If I need to walk around with you, you need to look like you at least have a dollar or a few thousand." Niall just nods and looks around the table. Again they don't seem to be phased by it and Niall is weirdly enough amused by it all. Zayn seems cool enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for my new born nephew who was born today. Yaaay.
> 
> I hope you can handle all this drama. 
> 
> Zayn is in here, but I still think he will go eventually. #NotSure
> 
> -All The Love


	5. New Friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Trigger Warnings: Niall gets bullied in a flashback. He also purges, because his stomach is too full.** No purposeful eating disorder.

They are talking about things Niall doesn't even remember learning about. He hears words he has never heard before and it scares the shit out if him. Liam, Edward, Harry, Marcel, Louis and Zayn are all talking comfortably to one another about something called the Polital. From what Niall understands it is some sort of get together for the richest of people. But Niall isn't sure and he probably never will be.

"Can you imagine? I mean we have to be there." Niall gets pulled towards the conversation when he hears Harry's voice getting higher.

"Calm down we aren't going there. We have to wait for our parents to die first." Louis says next rolling his eyes. Niall is more confused than ever. Marcel sees it and smiles.

"The Polital is an event for rich people famous people one generation at a time. At the event people can buy stocks and invest in new products and even buy stuff that aren't in stores yet. It's magical." Marcel says grinning. Niall just nods with raised eyebrows. He and Louis lock their eyes and Niall stops breathing. There is this incredible painful look on Louis' face. As if he is sorry for Niall not knowing what the Polital is. Maybe he feels sorry for Niall. Niall just shakes his head in answer and looks at his almost eaten sandwich. Which is an whole other topic since all of the people around the table had at least made one comment about how Niall couldn't eat an entire sandwich. 

Niall looks around the table and the only eyes on him are those of Harry so he grabs the sandwich and starts eating it again. After a few bites he feels incredible full. He never ate much, because back at home he didn't get much. Niall can feel his stomach expand to the maximum but he keeps on eating. The sandwich is almost gone. He can feel all of their eyes burning on his profile including some of the people surrounding them. He is pretty sure he is crying, because his cheeks feel wet and he has this weird feeling all over his body. He eats the last bite and when he swallows it he looks around. To his luck only the people at his table are looking at him and not people surrounding them.

"Why did you do that?" Edward asks. Niall shrugs and feels his cheeks to be sure they are dry. They are and Niall is kind of relieved, he just needs to keep the sandwich in him. 

"You didn't have to, you know." Harry says next. Niall shrugs again and grabs his stomach. His stomach is screaming at him for overworking and Niall wants to curl on the floor to hopefully stop the throbbing pain. He places his forehead onto the table and keeps holding his stomach. He hiccups a few times and tries to keep the upcoming puke down. Niall is pretty sure he is going to cry when he feels a hand on his back slowly raising him. Niall keeps his eyes down and moves with the hand. 

They walk through the dining hall to another side where Niall has never been before. All of the people in the dining room are looking at them. Probably hungry for some drama. Niall still follows the outstretched hand without knowing whose it is. They walks though a white door all the way to the end of the hallway and then they are standing in front of a toilet. Niall shakes out of fear probably knowing what is going to happen. He feels himself failing get out of the mans grip. 

The person behind him keeps pushing him towards the toilet but Niall does everything in his power to not end up there. He knows what is happening in there, it had happened enough times before. It's like a game from time to time. Niall should've known that being accepted into a friendship brings all the bullying too. 

He remembers the first day of being with his first friends. They had invites him over to play video games at ones house. He of course went there. When they all walked downstairs all of his friends took a seat leaving Niall standing in the middle of the room. After a while Niall felt invisible because his friends were playing without him, until...

_"You can sit there." Jamie says pointing to his right and when Niall follows his fingers his eyes land on a pink beanbag. He wants to speak up, but he doesn't. This is probably how you get accepted into friendships. He walks towards the beanbag and sits down. He can barely see the TV screen from here since it's stuck to the walk he is sitting against. He can however see all of his friends having fun without him. He can see their smiles and he wishes to be one of them. He wishes to have the same smile on his face and feel the same amount as happiness as them._

_He sits there for a good half an hour before one of the guys orders him to go up and fetch them all some drinks. So without complains he walks upstairs towards the kitchen. He hears nothing until he actually reaches the kitchen. In the kitchen there is a really handsome guy. He has brown hair hidden underneath his red with black cap, he is wearing a white thank top and red shorts. Niall waits until the boy notices him before walking into the kitchen._

_"Hi. I'm Josh and you are?" The boy says when Niall keeps glancing his way._

_"I'm Niall." Niall mumbles in respond. Josh nods his head and takes a sip from the drink in his hand._

_"Whatcha doin'?" He asks when Niall opens the refrigerator. He grabs all the cans of soda they requested and a bottle of water for himself. He closes the refrigerator door and looks at Josh._

_"Just grabbing some drinks for my friends." Niall says, smiling. Josh's eyebrows shot up in a questioning face, but he stays silent. Niall feels incredible uncomfortable and disappears in a second. He hears Josh muttering 'what the fuck' when he is walking into the hallway. He walks all the way back to the basement with all of their drinks in his hands. When he gets there he hands everyone their requested drink and stands back while he sips his own._

_They didn't thank him nor did they acknowledged his arrival. Niall wants to bash his head into the wall. If it is this hard to make friends than why did everybody have so much friends? How could they handle the torture of being the 'new kid' and having to sit away from them?_

_"Niel." Niall looks up to the voice. "Can you come up with me for a second. Brandon you too?" Red haired Jamie says. Niall nods his head and waits dutifully on their footsteps. He follows them back upstairs, further upstairs than he was before all the way to the end of the hallway when they stop in front of the white door. Niall wants to push them along since he isn't really the waiting type. They enter what Niall presumes is Jamie's bedroom and both Jamie and Brandon take a seat on Jamie's bed._

_Niall takes a quick look around and notices the huge disgusting piles of clothes scattered here and there making it difficult to see the floor. Not only are there clothes everywhere so are dirty dishes and school stuff. Niall looks back and them and takes a few steps so he could sit on the bed too. They shake their head at the exact same time to make sure Niall didn't take one more step._

_"Now to be fully accepted you are going to clean my room, while we are doing busy stuff. Got it?" Niall doesn't get it. Niall doesn't understand why he needs to clean this mess when he didn't even make it in the first place. He doesn't understand how this could help him with their friendship and he sure as hell doesn't understand how to clean the room, and yet, he does it. He gets on his knees and starts sniffing the clothes dividing the clean and dirty ones. He mopes around the room for hours while the two boys are watching TV. He is nearly done when Jamie requests him to clean his bathroom too. Niall shakes his head. He is done with this all, he isn't going to do more for them._

_When Jamie and Brandon see his disapproval they are quick to lock him in their arms and drag him towards the bathroom. They firmly tell him to clean this mess too, but Niall shakes his head and tries to squirm out of their hold. He fails miserably and gets dragged over towards the toilet. They lift the toilet seat and hunch Niall's upper body over it. They give him his final warning, but Niall keeps on fighting so they dunk his head into the toilet water. They keep him down for ages until he stops struggling in his hold. One of them grabs his hair and pulls him up. He breathes in and out for a couple of moments before they dunk him into the water again. Niall gets held under for longer this time and if it wasn't for Josh walking in on the scene he would probably be dead right now._

_"What are you doing?!" He hears Josh scream. They let go of Niall and Niall falls towards the ground. Josh flings Niall over his shoulder and walks him downstairs. Jamie and Brandon are making up stupid excuses to why they did what they've done, but Josh silences them every time. Niall remembers smiling when he saw the front door of Jamie's house. He remembers Josh putting him on his feet and opening the front door for him. He remembers Josh's smile and he remembers the amazing feeling of the sunlight on his wet head. He remembers the wet head, the way their hands touched his body, the way the toilet presses on his ribs and the way he couldn't breath. He remembers dying._

"Please! I'm begging you don't do this. I'm sorry, I am so sorry." Niall is wailing and Louis drops him slowly onto the ground. He cradles Niall's head between his head and presses slightly with his fingertips. 

"Niall I won't do it. Please calm down." Louis says his voice dripping authoritativity. 

"I'm sorry Louis. I will do anything, but please don't do this to me. Not again, I can't. Please Louis." Niall holds Louis close by his t-shirt and pulls him either. Louis sighs and moves to lay next to him, holding Niall close.

"What did they ever do to you?" Louis asks when Niall starts to calm down. Niall shakes his head and Louis hums, understanding Niall doesn't want to talk about it. 

"I won't pressure you into saying anything, but please know that if you want to talk about it, you can talk to me." Louis says. Niall nods and starts to say something when Harry, Liam, Zayn, Edward and Marcel are walking over to them. Louis scrambles out of Niall's hold and stands up.

"Why is he crying?" Harry asks looking at Louis. Louis shrugs, not lying.

"What a baby." Edward sighs while rolling his eyes. Louis looks at him and waits for their eyes to cross before he can give him the ultimate death glare.

"Don't give me that look. You were trying to help him by bringing him to a toilet so he could purge his sandwich back up and from the looks off it that didn't happen." Edward says in his defence. 

"Louis." Niall's weak voice calls out. Louis looks down at him and keeps on looking. 

"I need to puke." Louis and Harry both raise him up similar to Jamie and Brandon which makes Niall trashes in their hold. 

"Please stop." They let him go and looks at one another before looking around the group of people. Edward sighs again, harder this time and grabs Niall around the stomach. He walks through the door Niall trying to leave his arms, but to no luck. He gets placed in front of a toilet and watches the water slush within it. Niall swallows deeply before raising two fingers. With a shaking hand he brings the fingers to his mouth and plunges them deep in his throat. He gags and stops then again he tickles the end of his mouth by wiggling his fingers. Slowly he feels a tension making his way back to the top of his body through the oesophagus. He keeps pushing himself to take his fingers deeper before he releases them from his mouth and bends over the toilet to purge. He makes awful sounds and he can feel tears staining his cheeks.

"That's good. Let it all out, babe." Edward whispers in his ear, making Niall feel all sort of things he shouldn't feel while purging. After the first wave he pushes his fingers back in and makes himself gag again. After the second time he tries to put his fingers back but someone grabs his hand making him still mids movement. 

"We don't want you to purge it all out. You need it and this was just to make your stomach comfortable again. We don't want you to do this ever again." Edward says grabbing toilet paper and giving it to Niall so he can wipe his fingers and mouth. He stands up on shaky legs and flushes the toilet. They are all cramped into the little space waiting for Niall to wash his hands. After that is done they walk through the dining hall -all eyes on them again- back to their residence. Niall follows their footsteps tumbling behind. 

He is scared, the flashback from before is scaring the shit out of him because he needed to do something too to get into this friendship and that will ultimately lead to another and then another and then another mission. Niall wants to run back to his house and stay there, where his mother can blame him for everything that went wrong. He will listen to her screams and cries while trying to fall asleep, he will wait until midnight before going downstairs to finally grab something to eat. He will live perfectly happy after without friends. 

"Niall?" Niall looks up and sees all of the boys waiting on him to step into the elevator. Niall just nods and walks in. They wait, but the doors won't close.

"Press your code, Niall." The annoyance in Zayn's voice shows they have told him that before. Niall just presses 1309 and waits for the black screen to lit up with the words **Welcome Niall Horan**. The rest of them cheer while Niall has this sinking feeling in his stomach. 

When they reach the top they pile out of the elevator, most of them retrieving towards their own rooms. Louis and Marcel walk in front of him and Niall follows. The hallway they're walking in is high and the ceiling is painted in the same style as the churches. The walls are a deep red and the floor is a light cream carpet. It doesn't looks fashionable and Niall would change it immediately if he ever gets the chance. 

"We know this hallway sucks, we are having it redone somewhere next week." Marcel says as he sees Niall looking around. Niall blushes and stammers before he even can say a few words. 

"Don't fear." Louis says as he grabs Niall's back and pulls him into his side. They stand closer than Niall wanted to, because when Louis gets close he gets weak, it's unfair. 

"This is your room." Louis says opening the large white door. Marcel mutters that it is also his room, but before Niall can comment his breath is stuck in his lungs. 

It is the biggest room he has seen in his entire life. It's mostly white with some light blue here and there. He can see two beds on the other side of each other and swears that when he walks from one side to the other he would have walked a marathon. Louis pushes him inside and Niall instantly feels smaller and smaller. There is a desk on the right side of him on which he can see are his school stuff and when he looks the other way he sees the exact same thing. Marcel and him both have a old looking desk with a heavy chair in front of it, a bookshelf on the wall above of the desk and a trash can close by. He walks further into the room. He sees a door on the same level left and right and wonders what's behind. Louis pushes him to his bed and Niall sees his pathetic gym bag standing in the middle of the sea of . Niall grabs the bag and opens it. 

"Wait you were serious about that gym bag thing?" Marcel asks as he sees Niall unpack the bag. Niall nods and places his two pants and five shirts together. The bag is almost empty so he holds it upside down and sees a few pair of socks and some underwear fall down. He swears he had more clothes once. 

"Jesus Christ. Most of them aren't even in your size." Louis says as he grabs a pair of pants. Niall tries to grab it back but Louis shuffles from his outreaching arms.  
"Louis, please." Louis takes one look at Niall's face and nods before giving the pants back. There is just something about Niall being sad which he can't progress. It's like kicking a cute kitten and that feeling sucks so bad even Louis William Tomlinson can't help but try and make everything okay again. He has never bent over backwards to get someone else what they want, but he would do it in a heartbeat for Niall. And he hates that.

"You can hang your clothes in the closet through that door." Marcel says pointing to the mysterious door on his side. Niall smiles and takes the handful of clothes towards his closet. He opens the door and drops the few pieces.

"What the fuck." Niall says. 

"What? What's in there? Did those fuckers not clean up or something?" Louis says walking over towards Niall. He sees the exact same thing as Niall. A room as big as Niall's former bedroom all stacked up with shelves and hangers. There are drawers and more mirrors than Niall has ever seen before even when he went in those funhouse things at the fair. Everything is empty and exposed.

"Why is this thing so big?" Niall says as he walks in and opens one of the drawers and pushes his clothes inside. He closes it and you can see no difference than before. It shakes Niall up. Why are there people out there with an garderobe so big they need his bedroom to store it in? Why didn't he have that growing up? He wants to slap the drug addict out of his mother.

"It's a walk-in closer. What did you expect?" Louis says looking at him like having a closet this big is fucking normal. Rich people are on a whole other level.

"It's as big as my bedroom back at home. How can you even own so many clothes?" Niall says looking around. It's a beautiful space and he feels almost sorry for all the clothes that are on the top shelf pressed to the back because they never get chosen, because they can't be seen. He turns around to Louis and looks closely to the look Louis is giving him. It's the same look he has given him before and Niall wants to crumble and die on the floor while he is at it. 

"Don't give me that look." Niall says remember wanting to say it yesterday evening when they were in Louis' car. "It doesn't help, you know. I'd rather you treat me like equal and not like a charity case." Niall ends. Louis just nods his head and walks back in the bedroom. Niall follows and watches Marcel sitting behind his desk looking at a stack of papers in front of him. He is typing on a calculator and scribbling down notes.

"Well, I'm going to leave you be. Meet me in the dining room at one o'clock to eat lunch." Louis says as he walks out of the door. Niall looks at the clock and sees that there is a good hour and a half to do something before lunch starts. He lays down on his bed and instantly feels tired. His body gets sucked into the mattress making his weight get heavier and lighter at the same time. He hears Marcel saying something, but he doesn't know what so he just hums in response.

Soon he feels his head getting clouded by last night's and this morning adventures and he wants to sleep so badly. He can't even move his body let alone open his eyes. He wants to cover himself though, but he is too tired to. This mattress is doing him no good seeing he can barely keep his thoughts straight. 

He feels his mouth open and close softly and in no time his head stops thinking and his hands stop twitching, his ears can't function anymore and his tongue is lying dead in his mouth and he can feel himself drift further away from the earth surface. He dreams about nothing. 

When he wakes up Marcel is tugging on his left feet urging him to get out of bed. 

"In ten minutes lunch starts and we don't take that lightly. Please change before you come in." Marcel says. He needs to mentally urge himself to get the last bit out. Seeing Niall with clothes that belongs in the dumpster really makes their strict rules for changing three times a day hard to follow.

"Okay. I'm coming." Niall says. He doesn't move however so Marcel starts tugging on his feet again. This time Niall really does leave his bed. He walk to his closet and closes the door behind him so he can change. He grabs another pair of pants and shirt without looking and starts changing immediately.

Once he is done he pushes his dirty clothes back in he drawer and walks out. He walks out and sees that his bed is made. No wrinkle in it. 

"You didn't have to." Niall says. Marcel twirls around and shushes him. Niall would feel as if Marcel doesn't like him if it wasn't for the cell phone against his ear. Niall just nods and grabs the shoes Louis bought for him. Niall still wants to thank Louis, you just can't spend seventy pounds on something for a _friend _.__

__When Marcel hangs up he scribbles something down and ends up looking at Niall._ _

__"So we can go?" Niall nods and follows Marcel towards the dining room. They walk through what Niall sees is some kind of living room. There are multiple couches and a big fucking huge TV. They walks past it and Niall could fit about five times into it. He really wants to see it when it's turned on. They keep on walking through another door and Niall instantly recognises a kitchen. The materials are huge and everywhere. It's still clean and organised, though. There are no dirty dishes to find and everything sees brand new. Finally they walk through some bow in the wall into the dining room._ _

__The dining room consists of a few plants here and there, a giant table with ten seats and two wall windows so they can see the landscape behind the school. It looks like a movie and Niall doesn't feel comfortable. Everything is so clean and he is everything but. Marcel pushes him to a seat and makes him sit down. Marcel sits down on the other side next to Liam who is looking at Niall with a huge smile on his face._ _

__"You like it here?" The puppy eyes is something Niall never could resist. He smiles and nods. Liam seems okay with the answer and turns to Marcel to ask something about their restaurants. Niall starts looking around and he sees that the table is fully decked with food and all. It's probably too much seeing there are at least two hole breads here, some eggs, a salad and even meat._ _

__"Finally, food." Harry says as he walks in. Edward and Zayn follow. Edward takes his seat next to Niall and Zayn sits down next to Liam while Harry sits down next to Marcel. They are waiting on Louis. Louis emerges from the other side of the dining room with three girls that Niall has seen before trailing behind him. Louis sits down on the other side of Niall so he is smashed between the most evil ones, nice. One of the girls sits down next to Louis and the other two take the two seats at the width of the table, making them both sit at the head or tail._ _

__"Dani, Vera and Elle this is Niall. Niall this are Dani," Dani waves at Niall. Dani is a beautiful girl with brown wavy locks that end just over her shoulder. Her face seems fresh with just a little hint of make-up. Niall nods and smiles._ _

__"Vera," Vera is one of the girls on the head or tail of the table. She has glasses and lovely deep red hair that you can confuse for brown. It's a bit more curly than Dani's and also a bit longer. She is also one of the two class president. Niall says a little 'hi' and looks to "Elle."_ _

__Elle is also a very pretty girl. She has short hair that transfers from the top brown to the bottom blonde. She has a small face and a very thin built. Her make-up is little and her nose is very cute. She smiles lovely and Niall feels himself smile. Time for lunch._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tadaa! (Dani is based on Danielle, Vera on Veroncia from the Best Song Ever Music Video and Elle is based on Eleanor. But don't feel like not reading anymore of that. I give them my own twirl).
> 
> Hope you liked it.
> 
> Ready for next week? 
> 
> All The Love x
> 
> (Ps. Please know that I read all of your comments and keep them dearly. I just don't respond because I don't know how to. I read evertything about a 1000 times even the criticsm. I am thankful for every comment, bookmakr and kudo and hope to show you that somehow.)


	6. Chair Incident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger Warnings: There is some shit with a chair and a pill**

"We should go horseback riding." Harry says when a few staff members start clearing the table. In a second most of them agree. Niall can feel Edward turning to him and he begs Edward to not embarrass him in front of everyone. Lunch had been great. He didn't have to answer any questions or give his opinion on something. No, he just sat there and enjoyed being around his friends, yes _friends_. 

"Are you coming too, Nialler?" Edward says in his ear. It sounds more like a whisper to Niall, but he knows all the other people heard it too. Niall feels goosebumps all over because the nickname sounds so un pure and somehow still so sexy coming from Edwards mouth. Niall nearly gets worked up.

"I," Niall clears his throat. "I can't." He finishes. Harry looks dulled out and Niall keeps his eyes on him, begging Edward in his mind to not push further. "Why not? Can't you ride a horse?" 

Truth is Niall has never seen a horse in real life before. He has seen cows, dogs, cats and squirrels but never a horse. He knows how they look because of pictures here and there, but he never had one standing in front of his fucking face. He isn't to blame for never getting out of the house. He isn't to blame for never going to the zoo. It's his mother. But Niall ignores the burning fire in his heart to just tell them so they can hate him already. 

"Hmm, I still need to go to the headmistress and then I'm heading to work. Thanks for the offer though." Niall says and stands up. He is almost sure they will protest by saying he could simply not go, but he needs to. It's his only way to survive.

"Okay. We will get you some dinner since you have to work when we eat dinner." Louis says. Everyone, including Niall, looks at him with interest. Nobody saw that coming. Niall smiles and nods before saying goodbye and leaving the table. Louis sits back down.

Niall walks towards the elevator, gets in and makes his way towards the headmistress.

+

"Concerning your outstanding performance in school already, I believe you are no threat to our close society and therefore will be released without facing more than a warning." The headmistress says as conclusion. Niall has been looking at her skin for the whole time and he can see her getting uncomfortable. Niall just really likes her dark skin under this light. It's not meant to be harmful in any kind of way he just never saw it so close.

"Thank you very much Mrs." He says looking at her eyes. She smiles and excuses herself. Niall stands up too and shakes her hand before leaving her office. He walks through the hallways and people keep looking at him. He tries to ignore them, but it's difficult when he needs his eyes to find a clock. He hears people talk and laugh at him. There is this sinking feeling in his stomach that something is going to happen, but it doesn't. He keeps on walking wanting to crawl out of his skin to get away from everyone and everything. Life sucks and it always will. 

He finally finds a clock above the door he needs to walk trough and sees he has twenty minutes left to get to Nuxa. He keeps walking ignoring the shouts of the fuckboys in the hallway. 

He gets to Nuxa must faster than normal and in no time he is standing behind the counter for a good half hour. There is nearly no one there so he grabs his backpack and his books. He starts with math since he doesn't really like it but it's doable. He doesn't know exactly what needs to be done but everything he does now is something he doesn't have to do when school starts.

"A venti iced skinny hazelnut macchiato, sugar-free syrup, extra shot, light ice, no whip." Niall looks up and smiles when he sees Edward standing on the other side. He turns towards the coffee maker and makes the coffee in near perfection. In two minutes he places the mug like Edward wanted it in front of him.

"That'll be six pounds, sir." Niall says. Edward nods approvingly and a small twinge of happiness flows through Niall's body. Edward pays and takes a seat by the right window-wall. Niall goes back to figuring out formulas and writing an explanation along it. It doesn't take long for a shadow to cast over him again. He closes his book and looks up. 

"I would like a strawberry-banana smoothie." Zayn says as he grabs his wallet. Niall takes one of the already done shakes from the vitrine in front of him and gives it to Zayn.

"Three fifty, please." Zayn gives him five pounds instead. Zayn walks away without saying anything like Edward did and joins Edward on the right side of the café. Niall just shakes his head and moves grab his architecture book instead of math and starts reading. He reads about the roman and greek way of building. He knows everything already, but a new typing style is refreshing. Niall doesn't exactly know how long he is reading when he hears a lot of people stumbling through the door. 

Niall stands up and sees an entire hockey team standing in front of the counter. They are all looking at him and Niall really wants to get away. He is so intimidated by their giant postures and hockey sticks. Niall remembers his high school team and how the president was always looking at Niall with those crazy eyes. It was creepy and annoying.

"Can I help you?" Niall asks in a small tone. The main guy laughs at Niall and the rest joins in. Niall can feel his cheeks burn. 

"We would like some smoothies, of course." Another one says. Niall tries to look at Edward and Zayn for reassurance, but he can't find them through the team. 

"Five banana-kiwi smoothies, three pear-banana, four mango-kiwi, two strawberry-orange and two pineapple-strawberry." Niall starts grabbing the already made smoothies when he starts talking, but can't keep up. He is busy with the four mango-kiwi when he desperately tries to remember the other two orders. There are five smoothies left to chose of and he really can't remember. He looks up and sees the team talking excitedly with each other. He begs any spirit above for a miracle and it really happens.

"Two strawberry-orange and two pineapple-strawberry." A guy whispers. Niall nods and grabs the drinks before saying he is done. When everyone grabs their smoothie the same guy who whispered the missing smoothies stops to pay Niall. 

"What happened?" He asks. Niall pulls a confused face before the other guy points at his blue eye. Niall forgot he had scars and bruises all over his face. 

"Fell from the stairs." Niall makes up. The door to Nuxa opens and Niall can see the rest of his friends walk in. He finishes with the guy fast before the other ones reach the counter. 

"What are those idiots doing here?!" Louis scream in a whisper voice. Niall tilts his shoulders and let them fall back down. "They came in and ordered drinks." Niall says in all honesty. Louis looks furious. 

"Did you talk to them?" He demands. Niall shakes his head, Louis turns around and stalks over to the team, Edward on his heels. Niall tries to see the commotion going on, but Marcel is trying to order some drinks. 

"Please Niall, just do your job." Marcel says. No one notices their small interaction so Niall makes the drinks and grabs the smoothies. Marcel pays enough money to combine their and the team's order and still pays more than he should. Niall just keeps his eyes on the money and tries to not look at the fight that's going on. 

"Oh before I forget, we bought you supper." Harry says turning to Niall. Harry places an white plastic bag on the counter and Niall opens it. There is chicken and fries in there with a salad. Niall smiles and thanks Harry before starting to eat. He hadn't eaten much at lunch which again left people wondering why Niall didn't eat as much as them. 

Niall is almost done with the salad when he hears a loud yell.

"Fuck you! You aren't our boss! You can't tell where we can drink something and where not." Niall looks up at one of the team players who yells straight into Louis face. Niall can only see Louis from the back and he can still see Louis is trembling with anger. Before Niall can see it coming Louis punches the guy and starts a fight. 

Niall runs from behind the counter and tries to hold Louis back. Louis pushes him back into the arms of Harry who magically appeared by his side. Niall tries once more but Louis grabs a chair, flings it back right into Niall's right side of his head and swings it forward to one of the players. Niall falls unconsciously to the ground. 

+

"Louis look at what you did." Niall hears a faint voice from somewhere far away. 

"I know Zayn, but it's partly his fault too. He shouldn't have tried to stop me." Niall hears Louis voice like a knife through his skull. The voice is ringing in his head and he tries to get away. Not only do he registers the hurtful words something makes him agree with the sentence too.

"Louis, please admit your wrongdoings. We like him and we want to stay friends so get over yourself and start apologising." Niall opens his eyes to find Nuxa's ceiling above his head. They had closed the curtains hopefully to make it easier for Niall to opens his eyes. Niall blinks a few times the headache in his head getting worse. 

"Louis?" Niall says in a small voice. Louis appears on his left side and Niall can only see his forehead, but it's enough for now. 

"I'm sorry Niall." Louis says. Niall can hear no real meaning behind it and even though Louis' voice is as cold as a stone Niall wants to forget all of this and just go to sleep. 

"It's okay." Niall answers. Niall eyes start drooping again and before he falls away he can feel a small kiss on the side of his head where Louis sits. 

+

The next time Niall wakes up he is in the nurse's office. He knows because everything is white and there is a name plague that states the nurse's name. In no time a small lady with red hair and a bashing smile walks through the door. 

"Nice to see you awake mr. Horan. How are you?" Niall opens his mouth but nothing much can come out. He gurgles and stutters but nothing understandable comes out. Niall closes his eyes in frustration. He takes a few deep breath and tries again. 

"I," He says with a stiff mouth. "could be better." The nurse nods and opens the office door to let Marcel in. Marcel instantly walks over to the seat next to the bed Niall is laying on. 

"How are you?" Marcel asks. Niall looks over at the nurse who is filling out forms and then looks back at Marcel. 

"Good. Nuxa's?" Niall remembers the mess back at the café and wonders how he is going to tell his boss this. 

"Don't worry about that. Louis is covering everything from all the broken glasses to the a little dent in the floor. He is really sorry for what happened." Marcel says next. Niall nods and then has a million questions milling around his head. Instead of asking them he looks at the nurse.

"When can I be released?" Niall asks. Marcel gives him a glass full of water which Niall downs immediately. 

"Somewhere tonight, around 10pm." Niall eyes the clock and sees it's already 8pm. Only two boring hours left to kill.

"Is my side supposed to hurt like this?" Niall asks. He pushes the blanket low and sees a huge bruise on the right side of his hip. 

"Where did that came from?" Niall asks sitting up. His head doesn't like that and starts pumping hard and Niall slowly stills his movements. The nurse and Marcel help him lay down again.

"Don't move too much. You are going to need to rest fully this whole weekend the only reason to get out of bed is to get to the toilet if you want to go to school next Monday." Niall shakes his head stiffly so he doesn't hurt his brain. 

"No please. There is nothing you can do to make my progress faster? I'm sure it's not that big of a wound." Niall says. He really needs to keep working beforehand to make sure his school doesn't become too much. He has heard stories about people failing school simply for not working hard enough on their work. Niall doesn't want to be that person.

"Niall." Marcel says. Niall looks over at Marcel. "You are full on resting and I have taken full responsibility to look over you. Please don't make it harder than it is." Marcel pleads. Niall hasn't fully realised how hot Marcel is. His hair slicked back normally looks okay but now it looks soft and Niall really wants to touch it. Even his glasses that never get Niall working are totally working now. He wants to see Marcel on the other side of the table as they go out for a date and since Marcel is very shy he keeps pushing his glasses up while running his hand through his hair making a few strands pull away from his usual fringe. Niall wants to hold Marcel huge hands that could wrap around his entire hand and pull him through a life of love and happiness. 

Niall looks in Marcel's eyes and swears he sees the same things he thought about just now reflecting in his eyes. Niall hopes Marcel could see him like Niall could see Marcel. They keep looking at each other and Niall feels himself itching closer, wanting to be hold by Marcel. Maybe it's the morphine they gave him to make sure he feels a little to no pain or maybe it's Niall just finally looking at his friend and realising his potential for being Niall's first crush, scratch that, boyfriend. 

"I, uh," Marcel stutters. Niall moves back against the pillows and watches Marcel push his glasses back and runs his fingers through his hair. Niall stops breathing.

"I'll come back to collect you in an hour." Marcel says before he leaves the office.

The next hour is full of exercises Niall learns to do to make sure recovery goes quickly. Apparently the impact the chair had on Niall's skull makes a risk for paralysing of his limbs. The chance is very small to begin with, but to make sure it really doesn't happen Niall agrees to do the exercises. The nurse tells him about the accident and what exactly happened to his body and then what's going to happen in the next four weeks. Niall doesn't even listen. He is busy looking at the clock wondering if Marcel will get him or not. Marcel with the bright green eyes, Marcel with the cute stutter, Marcel who in a few seconds got Niall wrapped around his fingers. Niall has never felt something more painful than that. The feeling of wondering if Marcel thinks about him the same way and if something more will happen between them. He wants that. He wants his own fairytale.

The door to the nurse's office opens and Marcel strolls in with a wheelchair. Niall closes his eyes and sees the laughing faces as he pushes himself through the dining hall. All those people keep looking at the bandages around his face and talk about what kind of loser Niall is. All those people would give him judging looks and once they find out it's Louis who did it.... Niall stops thinking. 

"Ready to go?" Niall nods and opens his eyes. The nurse and Marcel gets him seated. He gets a box full of pills pressed into his hand. It's an orange plastic box with a white turning-lid on it. Niall brings the pills closer to his face. He can see the pills clearly now. Some of them are half pink and the other half white others are half white and half blue. Niall remembers these pills.  
His mom took these exact pills after the accident and kept taking them. They made a mess out of her. A screaming hurricane that pulled everything around her to her potential grave. Niall eyes focus on the reflection of Niall's face on the plastic and Niall sees himself. The bandage around his face is distracting of the blue eyes and the open cut on his cheeks, but you can still see everything. Niall opens his dry mouth slightly and then he covers his reflection with his fingers.

It is his worst self he has ever seen. 

"Give me those. I'll help you with them." Marcel says. Niall doesn't have to think twice about that and gives the devil medication to his friend. Niall mutters a small thank you to the nurse before he gets rolled out of the office. To Niall's luck there is no one in the hallways. Marcel walks at a fast pace something Niall is incredible thankful for. He wants to sleep on that amazing mattress again. He wants to forget the world and wake up with this all being a dream. It has been five days at this school and here he is: in a wheelchair being pushed towards the elevator of his building. They get in and Marcel presses the code. Niall wants to go away, he isn't ready to face Louis.

The elevator dings and Marcel gets him out. There is no one in the hallway and it looks like no one has been here for a long time as well. Marcel gets them to their room within a few seconds without anyone coming in to check if Niall is okay. Niall swears that when you have friends they come and check on you. It's what friends do right?

"Where is everyone?" Niall asks Marcel. They are trying to get Niall dressed in his pyjama. Marcel holds the t-shirt above his head like moms do with small children. Marcel looks down and waits for Niall to put his hands in the sleeves.

"Lawyers." Is the only thing Marcel says. Confusion grows and Niall wants to ask more but something about Marcel's voice makes him stop. Niall has always been too inquisitive which resulted in people not telling Niall something on purpose. So Niall doesn't ask anymore. His t-shirt is on.

"You think you can change your pants yourself?" Marcel asks handing Niall his sweatpants. Niall nods, it is not like the pain is too much to move by himself. Niall grabs the sweatpants and undos his button. Marcel himself takes his pyjamas to the bathroom so he can change in there. 

Niall wriggles out of his pants finding it harder to lift his legs than before the whole chair-accident. Niall doesn't want to think anything behind it. He is probably just sleepy. Tomorrow will be easier. That is what he tells himself over and over again when he can't get his right foot through the opening. It's been a good ten minutes and Niall is getting absolutely frustrated. 

"Fucking hell!" Niall screams out. Marcel emerges from the bathroom totally shaved with his toothbrush in his mouth. He sees Niall sitting on the edge of his bed furiously grabbing his right foot and the sweatpants. He fails again so Marcel walks over. Sits down in front of Niall's legs and slowly grabs the sweatpants out of his hand. With one hand he makes sure Niall's foot is in the opening and slowly pulls the sweatpants up his legs. Marcel can't help but feel Niall's soft legs. 

Niall is totally into the view right now. The way he can see Marcel's unexpected muscles flexing when he puts his foot through the opening, the way Marcel looks up at him when he reaches his knees, the way Marcel whispers for him to lift up his bum, the way Marcel soft hands glide over his bum. The sweatpants are on and Marcel withdraws his hands.

"Turhsizmnsiemelp." Marcel mumbles. Niall can't make out a word and Marcel understands he can't be understandable with a toothbrush in his mouth. He holds up one finger to signal for Niall to wait a second before Marcel runs back to the bathroom. Niall hears him spit out the toothpaste and then the water starts running. Within seconds Marcel is back in his view this time Niall's toothbrush in his hand. 

"There you go." Marcel says as he walks closer to Niall. He hands Niall his toothbrush and walks back into the bathroom. Niall starts brushing his teeth ever so slowly. Niall hears glass clinking against stone in the bathroom but he is too tired to raise his eyebrows. He keeps on brushing trying to brush a little bit of the pain away too. When he is done, which he just thinks he is even though he brushes longer normally, Marcel walks into the bedroom with one glass of water and one empty. 

Marcel gives Niall the empty one first so Niall can spit out the toothpaste, then Niall drinks a little of the water and spits that into the once empty glass too. Marcel hands him a blue with white pill. Niall holds it and exclaims it carefully. To be honest Niall really doesn't want to take the pill, he is too scared of what can happen. What if he gets addicted to it too? What if he ruins everyones life? What if- What if- What if... 

"Are you okay?" Marcel asks. Niall shakes his head.

"You don't have to take it. It's for the pain, if you think you can handle it than everyone wants you to rather not take it." Marcel says looking at Niall who keeps on looking at the pill. After slightly hesitating he gives Marcel the pill and the water back. Marcel places the glass on Niall's night stand. Niall lays back and scoots over to the middle. He raises his limbs when he feels Marcel tugging at his sheets. Eventually Niall lays under the duvet with a nice warm feeling settling over his body. 

"Goodnight." Marcel says. He bows forward and Niall is barely awake but he feels Marcel's lips ghosting over his cheek. A small fluttery kiss is pressed against his cheeks and gives Niall the strength to fall asleep. 

+

"Nialler? Can you wake up?" Marcel's voice enters Niall's mind. Niall pushes weakly at Marcel's body for him to move and leave Niall the fuck alone.

"I just need to check your eyes." Marcel says. Niall huffs and turns towards the extra weight on his bed. He opens his eyes and sees it has been two hours since he fell asleep. Marcel holds a small flashlight in one of his hands and the other is reaching out for Niall's head.

After his eye inspection Marcel turns off the lights again and make Niall fall asleep again. But it's more difficult than before. He hears Marcel breaths even out eventually and the clock shows that twenty minutes have passed. There is a pain creeping up his leg and Niall looks at his night stand. The glass and pill look so irresistible. The pain gets worse when he moves slightly. He reaches out to the pill on his night stand in panic and swallows it. He grabs the glass and tries to drown himself immediately after.

"Did I make a mistake?" Niall asks himself. Taking that pill could change his life forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tadaaaa!
> 
> A little late but I'll make sure to update an extra time in between now and the one for next week. Aren't ya happy?
> 
> Don't worry Niall will be okay (eventually)
> 
> All The Love xx


	7. No Mercy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **No Trigger Warnings**
> 
> There is an important message down under based on what happened in the comment section in the previous chapter.

Marcel wakes Niall every two hours because the nurse told him too. Niall feels extremely on the edge. He wants Marcel to stop waking him and be so damn cute with his hair more fucked up every time he inspects Niall's eyes. Niall just wants to sleep for a very long time. No disturbing moments nothing. Just his closed eyes and even breaths when he waits for the never ending ride to his happily ever after. It should be magical.

"Niall?" Marcel voice rings. Niall groans and he has never been so angry at a person before. Who the fuck does Marcel think he is? 

"Stop, Marcel please. Just let me sleep." He begs. Marcel chuckles so Niall opens his eyes. The room is lighted but not by lamps. There is sunlight floating through the air and a dressed Marcel standing right next to him. He looks at the clock and sees the time: 10.03am. The last time he was awake it was 6.00am. 

"You let me sleep." He says his voice high and full of thankfulness and endearment. 

"It's no big-y. I am just happy you woke up." Marcel answers shrugging. Niall smiles and moves to get out of bed. Marcel who disappeared into the bathroom walks back when Niall's feet hit the ground. Marcel falls dead in his step and looks at Niall with a clear face. 

"What?" Niall says holding the 'a' long. There is evidence in his voice that he knows what he doing wrong and instead pretend to not know.

"Where are you going?" Marcel asks; one of his eyebrows tilted. Niall's face starts to turn red of shame and he can feel a lie creeping up his throat. 

"The toilet." Niall says before he jumps up and rushes by Marcel to enter the bathroom. He lock the door behind him and breaths out. Two full days of doing absolutely nothing. Not yet in his life did he have the chance to relax for such a huge period of time. He doesn't believe he can do it. There is something in his head that tells him to keep going no matter what. Niall feels miserable.

He walks over to the mirror and keeps himself from looking at himself. He grabs his toothbrush and toothpaste and prepares it. He starts brushing his teeth harshly. He is pretty sure he is bleeding, but that's okay. It's one of the things Niall remembers doing as a child. No matter how hard the pain was every time he started bleeding it meant he was still alive. He still has blood flowing through his veins. It's painful, but perfect. 

He spits out the remaining toothpaste and makes a quick job of rinsing his mouth. He puts the toothbrush back where it came from. 

"You can do it." Niall whispers to himself. In his mind he is preparing himself to look at his face. See if the cuts got clearer and if there is any sign of hope left. His eyes cast up. 

Niall is proud with what he is seeing. His cuts are almost healed and the bruised eye is getting less dark any minute. He reaches out with one hand and feels his whole face. He presses his fingertips lightly against the bruised places to see how long they will stay. They won't stay for long, Niall guesses they are gone by Monday. He opens the tab and starts splashing water in his face. The wound of the chair is still covered up with a bandage. It doesn't hurt as much as the nurse said it would, it's more like an uncomfortable pressure than a aching pain. Which makes Niall glad he has such a high pain level. 

Next up he goes to the toilet, washes his hand and takes one last look in the mirror before walking out of the bathroom. Marcel is no where to be seen, which gives Niall the opportunity to sneak out of the bedroom and get something to eat. He walks past Marcel's desk and gives a quick glance at the surface. There are different files with numbers all around all ordered with coloured tabs. There are pencils and pens laying perfectly next to each other. Niall shrugs, there is nothing really.   
He walks away, but stops when he sees a red envelope under a few files. He looks at the closed door and walks over to the spot. He grabs the envelope, one more glance at the door, and opens it. There is a sweet card with hearts on it inside. He opens the card and sees Marcel's handwriting -confirmed by all the files alongside the card- and reads it. 

_'Dear Vera,_

_Every time I see you I want to ask you an important question, but fail to do so. I know we have a past and I know why it ended, but I just can't help myself. I keep thinking about what it would be if we never broke up. I still get that jumpy feeling when I see your smile, I still curse myself over blinking when you are right in front of me, I still can't control my heartbeat when you are around._

_I'm sorry for the past and I believe we have both grown enough to start again. So in honour of this lovely card you made me buy for valentines day all those years ago:_

_Will you go out with me?_

_Your sincerely, Marcel.'_

 

Niall head is spinning with information and his heart is breaking on his own. Marcel and Vera dated and now Marcel wants to try again. He wants to live his life with a girl, a friend, former lover, beautiful person, class president, not Niall. Niall can't blame him, it's not that Marcel showed anything before. It just stings. 

"I have breakfast for him, yeah." Niall tries to push the card back in the envelope before the door can open, before Marcel can see him going through his stuff. Niall places the envelope and card where they came from and turns to face the door. Marcel is standing there looking at Niall. His cheeks are red and his hands are slightly shaking. Marcel walks over to Niall with his famous bed hair and cute pyjamas. 

He urges Niall to sit down at his desk and places the breakfast in front of him. Marcel walks back to the door and closes it while Niall is sitting there with no dignity left. 

"You saw the card." Marcel says. Niall nods, there is no hiding it. 

"I am sorry." Niall's response isn't heard because Marcel is in the bathroom doing god knows what. Niall looks at his breakfast and sees the most delicious and expensive things. There is scrambled eggs, orange juice, french toast, cake, yoghurt with fruits and tea. Niall smiles and grabs the french toast. He wants something sweet. 

When he easts the few pieces Marcel emerges from the bathroom with a pen and notebook in his hand. He grabs Niall's desk chair and sits down next to Niall. Niall keeps on munching on the french toast and begs himself not to look at Marcel.

"So what did you think?" Marcel asks. Niall drops his hand and swallows the last piece before looking at Marcel with wide eyes. 

"What?" Niall asks, grabbing the orange juice. 

"Well you read the card and I am wondering if you think she will go out with me when she reads it." Marcel says as if it's obvious. Niall scrunches his eyebrows and looks at all the other dishes on the desk. He shrugs to answer Marcel. 

"I don't know what happened in the past." Niall says. Marcel hums.

"We dated. It was like a fairytale, we were great together. But then me and my brothers and Liam started our restaurants and therefore started to remove myself in books and finances instead of my relationship. We broke up, but remained friends and I still like her as much as I did when we were in a relationship." Marcel looks at the desk and Niall feels like he should do something. Niall has had heartbreak in the past. He understands, kind of. He places a careful hand on Marcel thighs and squeezes. Marcel places his hand on Niall's and it startles Niall so bad he pulls his hand back.

 

"I believe you two can get together again." Niall says and stands up. He moves back to the bed and lays down. The mattress dunks in on Niall's left, but Niall stays with his head down. Marcel starts to touch his shoulders and moves to sit over Niall's back with one leg on one side and the other at the other side. 

"Is this okay?" Marcel asks as he starts massaging his shoulders. Niall shudders and moans softly. Marcel grins and keeps doing what he does. Niall feels awesome. He feels instantly relaxed and so, so good. Marcel slowly makes his way down his back and Niall can feel him starting to drift off to dreamland. It doesn't take long for Niall to actually fall asleep. 

+

"Scholarship boy?" Niall gets rolled over by a hand pressing his side, hard. Niall grumbles and stretches but stays like he is. He doesn't want to wake up or even open his eyes. He hears a few sighs and some whispers, but he doesn't care much. Niall actually thinks they left until he hears a few giggles. He wants to open his eyes, but before he can proceed he feels cold water being dumped on his head.

The cold stimulates his muscles to strain. His upper body shoots up in seconds and he starts wiping at his eyes. When he opens them he sees all the boys, including Zayn holding a bucket, standing around his bed. Niall groans and falls back onto the bed.

"I hate you." He says. They laugh. Niall creeps out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom to pee and change his clothing. When he walks out he sees a few boys have left the bedroom. Zayn, Louis and Marcel are still there. Niall nods when Louis looks him in the eye. Niall has no idea what they're doing here and if he needs to say something. 

"Niall." Zayn says one of his eyebrows raised. Niall copies the exact look and says Zayn's name on the exact same tone.

"We need to measure you, remember?" Niall looks at Zayn with wide eyes because he can't believe what he is hearing. Zayn told him he would get a whole new garderobe, but Niall didn't think they would actually do that.

"Are you sure?" Niall asks them. They nod and come closer to Niall. Marcel has a flexible measurement tape in his hand. When they are standing in front of Niall, Louis moves to lift his shirt but Niall stumbles backwards. 

"How about we go actually shopping, I can change into clothes then." Niall says. Zayn shakes his head with a small smile playing on his lips. 

"No we are ordering online. It saves time and money. Just lift your shirt please." Zayn's eyes are awful for making Niall do what he says without hesitating. Niall hates this freakishly hot human in front of him with a smile so precious it could replace any star, with a voice so angelic it could give details of the worst murder ever conflicted and still sound beautiful, with eyes so deep Niall feels like he left earth when he looks in them. 

To Niall dismay, he lifts his shirt and thinks about why he had to fall for Marcel, who is clearly pining over someone else, than Zayn, who to Niall's knowledge is still available. 

"You should eat more." Louis hums when he sees Niall's sucked in stomach. Niall agrees instantly. He never really had food or hunger. There was never a time when Niall was looking forward to eating. He just ate barely enough to stay alive. Before the accident he loved food, but after it happened Niall could only taste the bitter flavour of guilt. It was all his fault.

"You okay?" Marcel asks. Niall opens his eyes, too tired to question why he closed them, and looks at the large hand on his bony shoulder. He follows the arm all the way up to Marcel's eyes. Marcel's face is tight with worry. Niall simply smiles.

 

"Are you going to invite your father or your mother to come to the parent convention next weekend?" Zayn asks. Niall's upper body is fully measured so they move on to his legs. Niall stills with horror as they pull down his sweats. Thankfully they leave his boxers on. 

"Uh, sorry what?" Niall says as he shakes his head. He was so busy caring for losing his sweats that he didn't register Marcel's question. 

"I asked which parents comes over next weekend." Marcel says. Niall's head had been turned slightly to the right, but when he registered Marcel's sentence his head shot left. It hurt. He looks at Marcel and keeps on looking. His mouth is dry and he has to stabilise himself by gripping Zayn's -who is seated in front of him- shoulders. Niall tries to swallow, but there is nothing. He licks his lips.

"None of them." He clears his throat. 

"Why not?" Louis asks. Niall looks at Louis and sees determination to get behind everything Niall is. Niall wants to tell them, really, he just can't. So he tells what he had practiced in front of the mirror everyday after his teacher asked him why his father won't go to school on father's day.

"My father is dead." Niall says it quick. He says it so fast he barely heard the words floating to the air. By the looks on their face, they've heard his words. Zayn comes up and also pulls his sweat up. They are all taller than Niall is, even Louis by an inch or two. He sees some kind of conflict on their faces, Niall knows what they are thinking about. Do they ask about his mom?

"And your mother?" Zayn pops the question and Niall feels like dying. He wants to run away and forget the whole friendship thing, because it has never worked for him and never would. Niall wants to slap Zayn for questioning about a detail. When Niall isn't giving details, you shouldn't ask for them. It doesn't work like that. Niall shakes his head. The urge of telling them is for some reason overruling the whole running away thing. He wants to tell them, so it's clear. He wants to tell them that his mother never treated him well after the accident. She cared way more for his brother and father. Niall knows. Niall gets mad. Niall tells.

"She is not invited." Niall says the words he wasn't planning on saying. He can see all three the faces flicker with confusion. Niall doesn't understand himself either. Why didn't he just tell them his mother is a pill-taking piece of shit way to emotionally and mentally unstable to ever care for her child. 

"Why not?" Louis asks. Niall looks down at the cream coloured carpet and suddenly wants to feel it against his hand. He wants to sit down and with closed his eyes feel the soft strings running alongside his open fingers. He doesn't though.

"Neglect." Is all Niall says. He looks up at Louis.

"Care to explain." Louis says. Niall shakes his head and keeps shaking it for a good fifteen seconds before godlike Marcel interrupts. 

"That's quite enough. Niall," Marcel proceeds to talk when Niall looks at him "please go lay down in my bed, seeing yours is still wet. Zayn, Louis I will see you at lunch." Marcel leaves no room for argument and Niall can't help but smile at the bitchy look Louis is giving Marcel. Louis looks at him though when he noticed Niall's giggle. Niall's face hardens in seconds before he nearly jumps into Marcel's bed.

He hears all three of them leave and talking behind the closed door. He moves so he lays under the duvet and snuggles into Marcel's pillow. Everything smells like Marcel and it makes Niall very happy. Marcel smells like a good autumn day. Very nature and calming, as if you breath in fresh air every time you inhale.

Niall feels himself getting more and more drowsy. He closes his eyes and stops wiggling his foot. He thinks about what happened just now and realises he had said too much. Unfortunately there is no turning back. Niall has to take each obstacle as a way to prove to himself he is capable of making something out of his life. His entire life has built up to these years. The years that his amazing skills get recognised. These is everything he has, so he rather make sure everything is out in the open. It saves him the thought of hesitating before saying anything because he needs to recall if he told someone before. 

Marcel re-enters the room and sits down next to Niall. Niall turns towards him and grabs the glass out of Marcel's outstretched hand. He drinks it all. When he is done he gives the glass back and lays back down. 

"Are you okay?" Marcel asks. Niall opens one eye and nods steadily. He is okay, he will be okay. No matter what happens. If Marcel decides to date Vera, that's heartbreaking but fine. Niall will be okay. Maybe not immediately after, but eventually.

"If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. But please know that because you are our friend now, you can tell us absolutely anything. Okay?" Niall smiles at Marcel's kind words. Marcel is right. Just because it's all new to Niall doesn't mean he has to be afraid of it. They are his friends, not his enemy.

"Thank you so much." Niall answers and closes his eye. The water made him feel full and feeling full always results into wanting to sleep. He hears Marcel giggle and then feels him standing up. Niall is so far gone he can't even hear Marcel's footsteps. The only thing on his mind is rest. Niall isn't even sure if Marcel really did kiss his forehead, or if he was dreaming. 

+

The next time Niall wakes up, he runs to the bathroom to empty his bladder and washes his hands. When he emerges from the bathroom there is no one in the bedroom. He decides he is hungry so he makes his way to the kitchen. At least that is what he wants to do, but to his dismay he gets lost. He didn't realise finding the kitchen or dining room would be such a problem. Yesterday he saw all those rooms passing by and remembered how to walk, but Niall has forgotten it all. 

Every room has so many doors he keeps walking in circles. Every time he ends up in the long hallway with all of their bedrooms. At least there are five and if all of them share it would be just the right amount. He keeps walking to the end of the hallway, hoping there is something behind the sixth door. It's stressful. Why isn't anyone home?

He is now standing in front of the last door and goes to open it. He lays his hand on the doorknob and twists it to the left.

"Niall?" Niall's hand let go so fast it feels like it burned. Niall spins around and sees Vera standing on the other side of the hallway. 

"Vera, hi." Niall fakes excitement as he walks towards here. He figured everyone was gone because he hasn't seen any sort of sign of alive people. And Niall is pretty sure he went everywhere, except the kitchen. 

"How are you?" Vera asks. Her hair looks so perfect. It's the perfect shade of brown and it has the perfect waved that fall over her shoulder like it's nothing. Niall wants to slap her and steal her body so Marcel would fall in love with him instead of her. Now Niall thinks about it, that isn't what he wants. But this burning feeling of jealousy gives him all weird and fucked up thoughts. Humans are truly scary.

"I'm fine. You?" Niall stumbles over his words. He is standing half against the wall and half not. He doesn't know what to do with his hands nor his feet. He is pretty sure he looks like a total idiot who can't even stand properly. 

"I'm fine. All the others are to the soccer match, but I need to do something." Vera says. Niall nods quickly as if he knew where everyone was. 

"The match, yeah. Queen's College right?" He says to impress her. He doesn't know why and it surprises him. She nods her head. She points at a door and walks over there while looking at Niall. Niall nods with his lips pressed together. Until he remembers what he was doing.

"Wait!" Niall says unusually harsh. Vera seems to startle by it and drop the notebook in her hand. Niall squeals and drops to the floor to pick up the fallen notebook. Vera goes for it too at the same moment. Their hands touch and Niall was so fast to fall down that in seconds he pushes Vera to the ground by his own body. They fall over, Niall laying on top of Vera. 

"Uh, excuse me." Niall says as he slowly gets away from Vera. He tries to stand up, but he stumbles again and falls face flat on Vera boobs. Vera cries out in pain so Niall just throws his body to the right and lays down next to her.

"I am so sorry." Niall says. He stands up and helps Vera up to. 

"I meant to ask which way the kitchen is." Niall says after he asks Vera if she is okay. Vera answers with a few directions and then nearly runs to her room. Niall just stands there in the hallway for a second before he walks towards the kitchen. Eventually it didn't turn out to be that difficult. He just kept walking through the wrong doors. He enters the kitchen in a few steps.

The kitchen is just as clean as yesterday. Niall walks past the cooking island to open the black and white drawers on the right side of the kitchen. There are different ingredients he can't eat without mingling. He pushes them back and walks over to the refrigerator. He grabs a smoothie that just stand there. It blows Niall's mind honestly.

He moves towards the cooking island and opens a few of the smaller drawers. There is nothing really until he opens the last one. There are mostly drugs in their. Medication for pain and stuff. Niall understands. But something he doesn't understand is why there are pills the exact same that he got the other day. The same his mother takes. Niall knows you can only get those on doctor's note. 

He grabs the box and tries to find out for who it is. The name however is crossed. Niall is scared. Whoever takes those medicine is going to get addicted. But who is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, 
> 
> I come with an important message. I again want to say sorry for copying an amazing fanfiction I was inspired by. 
> 
> I changed the story a bit; Liam and Marcel aren't class president but Edward and Vera are. Zayn isn't the prince of Dubai, but the son of the upcoming president. 
> 
> I got a comment on the previous chapter that made me realise my terrible copycating. Again, I am sorry and I promise to make sure there are no small details that could be easily forgotten alike Privilege.
> 
> \- All The Love
> 
> /ps. You should check the other fanfic out; [**Privilege by Miraal**](http://archiveofourown.org/series/75742)


	8. Busy Saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger Warnings: None(?)**

After Niall's little discovery he started thinking back about his past. He never really was a whiny kid and maybe he remembers most awful thinks much worse than they were at the time. Niall never really though about his group of so called friends a lot after the whole toilet scene. He realised it was just a game for them and got over it. It stung and of course Niall became a bit more careful. But could something so minor actually effect him years and years after it had occurred. It's not the worst thing that ever happened. It barely makes the list of '10 horrible memories'. 

This particular thought - about if what Niall remembers is actually what happened to Niall at the time or if it's all just a blown out story - kept Niall busy for the rest of the day. He grabbed something to eat, put the pills back where they came from and left the kitchen. He laid down on his dried bed and started thinking. Thinking about the past and the worst thing that ever happened. It brought tears to his eyes and nearly made them go past the rim. Niall's eyes turned to their normal wetness after he couldn't remember certain aspects of the whole happening. He knows small details anyone would've forgotten about that particular day. Like how pretty the sky looked, how nice the fresh cut grass smelled, how nice the sun fell on Niall's skin, how fascinating his brother's laugh was, how truly happy he felt waking up when the clock stroke 6.12am. He just doesn't remember how it happened. How the other car crashed against them. How he lost all his senses when they toppled over. How his moms kept screaming and how his dad gave no indication he was alive. 

Niall shakes his head and lets the short scene that are interrupted by blackness fade to the back of his mind. He should do his homework.

Niall stands up, feels like fainting, sits down again, lays down. It happens quickly and Niall's thoughts don't feel real anymore. He doesn't know if it's the pill he took this morning or the fact that he overworked his brain today. It sucks being so weak. Niall has always been strong. He stood up after a fight. He screamed back at his mother. He attacked the people that attacked him. And yet a stupid chair has him feeling like all of his limbs are reacting seconds too slow. As if his teeth are implants and not his, as if his hair isn't there anymore even though he keeps touching it. Niall feels nothing, he remembers nothing. Everything is numb, which makes falling asleep a perfect exit.

+

"Niall?" Niall body shakes awake. He tiredly rubs his eyes and then hears all different kind of things. Running water, people talking, the light zoom of the lamp on his night stand, a pair of heels walking on a wooden floor, a creaking staircase. It's making Niall crazy. So he opens is eyes so his brain can focus on that instead of his hearing. He sees the ceiling first. It's an unclear view. Niall blinks. He looks at the ceiling, the ceiling thats seems so clear and fresh. Niall's head falls to his side. He keeps blinking as if he is still trying to get awake. He sees Marcel prancing around in his usual attire. Niall tries to look up to Marcel's alarm clock, but he can't see it. It takes too much strength for him to lift his head. 

Marcel seems to notice he is awake. Niall has stopped blinking as much by now, but his brain keeps feeling like it turned into liquid. There is no way he is going to understand anything from this point on. He murmurs a song he heard once while Marcel talks. Niall doesn't remember about what Marcel is talking about but he does know that the perfect response is humming Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. He sees Marcel's face up close the moment he opens his eyes. Marcel looks incredible worried. His glasses make his eyes look even bigger and his mouth is slightly parted. Niall cracks a smile. 

"Niall? Niall?!" He hears softly before passing out again.

"Please stay awake..." Marcel trails off.

+

The following time he wakes up it's because someone is lifting his eyelids and shining a light in his eyes. It hurts and confuses him so he groans in protest and tries to wriggle out of the hands that are keeping him where he is. When the light and the hands keeping him down disappears he opens his eyes slowly. 

It takes no time adjusting to the lit room seeing he saw a light mere seconds ago. The nurse from before is standing by his bedside writing things down. Marcel is the next person Niall's sees. His face is full of worry and Niall feels kind of proud of himself for being such a huge part in someone's life. He smiles as Marcel's eyes lock on him. Marcel smiles unsurely back. Niall trails his eyes to Marcel's right side and sees that his arm is slung over Vera. Vera who is looking at Marcel instead of Niall. Marcel is staring back and Niall already feels sick, but the moment they lean in for a quick peck on the lips makes Niall want to run off and cry a river of tears. 

"How do you feel?" The nurse asks. Niall is glad he can focus on something else instead of the couple at the end of his bed. It's disgusting that something so innocent can hurt so much. Niall feels betrayed by his body for having such a silly emotion. Jealousy is nothing but trouble.

"I'm quite good. Is there something wrong?" Niall asks. The nurse is very posh and Niall can't help bur feel the need to speak on the same level accent as her. It's something everyone does. The moment you are impresses by someones accent you simply adjust to it too. 

"Marcel contacted me after you woke up not responding to most signs. Did you take the medication I gave you?" The nurse instructed Niall to have at least three pills a day for the weekend. He could slow it down Monday to only one pill, but Niall hadn't swallowed so many pills. In fact he has swallows two of them instead of the five he should have. Niall shakes his head to answer the nurse. 

"Okay. That's no problem. Just promise you won't take any pills anymore otherwise you'll be sick for longer. If there is any pain that you can't handle just take a simple paracetamol." Niall nods in understanding. He knew that if his mother reduced the pills she took she started humbling weird noises and be completely out of everything. It's like a converse drug. 

"I will do just that Miss." Niall says. The nurse smiles before telling Marcel the same thing. She suggests Niall eats something before sleeping tonight. Tomorrow the day will be filled with a bit less exhaustion and maybe pain here and there. She also tells Marcel to not be afraid and call her at any time if he sees something really wrong. After Marcel and the nurse talk some more she leaves. 

"I'm going to prepare for the lunch speech Edward and I have tomorrow." Vera says as she faces Marcel. She lays her hand on his shoulder and slowly reaches up to the side of his face. "Call me if you need anything." She plants a kiss on Marcel, who grabs her closer and Niall looks away. It hurts too much. Niall doesn't understand where it's coming from. Suddenly he is there realising how great Marcel is and within one week of knowing him get a complete crush on him. 

Niall just pretends it's because of the hit he got. 

"Bye Niall." Vera waves before she walks out of their bedroom and Niall simply nods. He looks at Marcel, expecting food. Marcel however sits down next to Niall. 

"I tried laying the card I got for Vera down on under her pillow but she was already in her room. I told her everything and we both are very glad you helped us get together." The last sentence Marcel says makes Niall raise his eyebrows in questioning. Did he help them get together? Wasn't that just the opposite of what he was trying to do. He doesn't like them together. What even? 

"Your welcome?" Niall asks more than states. Marcel just laughs and stands up. He walks over to the door and opens it. But before he walks away he turns around and looks at Niall.  
"Ready for dinner?" Niall smiles. Maybe all of this relationship thing is better to look at before taking a part in. Niall could do this. How hard can it be to fall in love with someone who is in love with someone else right in front of your face?

"Fuck yeah." Niall walks out of the bedroom after Marcel and sees all different kind of people walking around in the hallway. They don't look like their visiting, but more like working. Marcel doesn't seems faced by everything and therefore all Niall's worries fly away. He remembers how to walk through the kitchen and into the dining room. Because it's Saturday everyone is allowed to either eat in the school dining hall or on their own. 

When they enter the dining room Niall sees the rest of his classmates already there. They are happy and talking freely up until they notice Niall. Niall has a sinking feeling in his stomach. He knows he hasn't been able to show them how he really is because of all the things that have been happening. 

"How are you?" Harry asks. Everyone is looking at Niall. 

"I'm fine. Just tired most of the time." Niall answers. Everyone including Louis seems enlightened by the answer. Maybe they didn't want to be knows for having an ill person among them. Niall would understand them.

"How was the game?" He asks next. The second the question leaves his mouth he is met with excited faces and a lot of talking. He looks at Louis wondering if they won because of his stolen game plan. Louis nods his head and winks. Niall feels happy for creating this all, but on the other hand he feels let down by himself. He helped them cheat. He remembers when someone on his brothers game cheated and Alex was so bumped out because of it. 

Supper goes well. The food again is terrific and Niall wants to cry and kiss the chef for his delicious creation. Niall eats more than he did the other days. He eats two good meals a day now and he is happy with his weight gain. He know he is not even near a healthy diet or weight, but he slowly as ever is getting there. 

After dinner they ask Niall to join them for a small movie marathon but he rejects the kind offer. He needs to do something about his schoolwork first. They look at him weirdly which he understands, but it's his tradition it's the only way for him not to lose his scholarship. 

"Well you're welcome to join anytime." Ella says as they leave him behind. Niall just stands there for a seconds, collects his thoughts and walks back to his room. The past week has been a lot and he can't even remember when he had any kind of control over his thoughts or feelings. From day one the rich kids had amazed him. It's been an emotional rollercoaster and Niall is begging to get off. Sure this drama would stop soon right? It's impossible to live with so much happening.

"Congratulations Niall. You played yourself." Niall says as he sits down at his desk. Niall can hear the movie playing through the walls and he would love to just sit down with them and relax, but he needs to keep himself motivated. Niall has a smart mind and he rather not take that for granted. It's the only thing in his life that has never failed him.

Niall grabs history first and reads about the greek and roman culture. He reads about Athene and the way they built up whole cities and politics. He reads about the voting system; the first democracy was back then when all Greek people could vote, except for woman and slaves.

It's a quick read and the assignments that come with it aren't too difficult. It's about explaining their way of thinking and even acknowledging Plato's view on the political system. Niall thinks about writing an essay on the greek and roman time for his history class. He knows every class ends with a giant paper on whatever topic is talked about that year. Niall already feels good about making progress. He is before everyone else, he is the Usain Bolt of the race called graduation and he is happy about it. No matter what others say. 

He changes history with English and reads a text and makes questions when there is a knock at his door. He closes his books and clicks his pen before turning towards the door. The doorknob twists and the door opens. Niall has a quick thought about looking up how doorknobs work. He is curious.

Louis walks into the room and Niall stands up. Louis seems unsure if he should even walk into the room. Niall beckons him further into the room. Louis closes the door behind him and looks at Niall. 

"I'm really sorry for hitting you with that chair. Please know I never meant to hurt you." Louis is biting his lip as if Niall is going to be mad at him. Louis' apology does come out of nowhere because Niall would've never expected an apology from Louis freaking Tomlinson. It's magical

"It's okay. I know you never meant to hurt me." Niall talks slowly to make sure Louis gets every word he speaks. Louis relaxes when he hears the words. He even feels so comfortable he sits down onto Niall's bed. Niall joins him. 

"There is a huge renovation going on at Nuxa's right now and you are expected to go beck to work as soon as you deem fit." Niall is totally not used to hearing apologies and never ever did he thought Louis would be so good at it. Did Louis really pay a whole renovation just because he hit Niall with a chair? 

"Are you for real?" Niall asks. Louis nods his head quickly.

"Yeah. I felt terrible for causing you so much harm and felt like this was one way to pay you back." Niall doesn't think when he gives Louis a hug. He just does it and id happy to find out Louis isn't pushing him away. Louis just sits there and takes it before sighing and cuddles back. It's over way too soon for Niall's liking but he at least knows Louis is a friend of him. 

"Thank you so much." Niall whispers. Louis looks at him with confusion.

"What for?" He asks. Niall shakes his head, it probably sounds stupid anyway.

"Uh, just for you know. Being friends with me and putting up with me." Niall says unsure. Niall swears he just changed the atmosphere from perfectly fine to incredibly awkward. 

"You never had friends before?" Louis hits him right in his gut and fuck that hurts. No Niall never had friends before, but it's not his fault. He never did anything wrong people just judged him wrong from the second they saw him. It was like an contagious thing back then. Everywhere he went people would judge him for the scared and bruises on his face or the terrible choice of clothing. He was like a living garbage can just walking around and everyone would throw their shit at him. It doesn't matter if it were punches or words they stung just as bad. 

"I take the silence as a yes. And if you would just kindly tell me why you had no friends..." Niall understands where Louis is coming from. Louis has a reputation to hold and being seem with someone as disgusting as Niall could hurt that reputation real bad. 

"They just didn't like me." Niall says keeping if civil. He rather doesn't go into detail about it because just talking about it makes Niall want to fling himself of a cliff. He was so wimpy back then, he didn't have voice nor did he pretend to have one. He just stood there and took it like a soulless punching bag. 

"Did the reason why they didn't like you back then disappear?" Louis asks. Niall wants to throw himself of a cliff now too. Forget what he thought earlier this must be a game the angels play. It's a game with no rules seeing Niall has had the worst thing someone could every imagine happening to the, happen to him. The winner wins after he did something so horrible Niall jumps off a cliff and the loser is.. well Niall. Niall is the one that ends up being hurt and hurt and every last ounce of self doubt makes it so hard for Niall to tell himself he deserves better. 

"I think so. I mean you are friends with me." He says. Truth is he has been their friend for less than seventy-two hours and that's barely enough time to remember someones birthday. Niall wishes for them to notice how he really is and for him to notice how they all are so any future problem could be solved by simply not being friends. Niall knows it's a long shot to have them as friends for as long as it takes for him to get his diploma. Rich and poor people are just way too different. They wake up with a different day planned out in their head and go to sleep with a different dream. 

"What are you like then Niall. Tell me about yourself." Those two sentences make Niall extremely nervous about what he should answer. He is pretty sure he isn't anything like Louis wants him to be and for fucks sake he is terrible at giving away details of himself. It's like he is questioning his own brain if it really likes something. He always gets nervous because this is mostly a deal breaker for all of his past 'friends'. 

"Well I like architecture, I like sports and I love pizza." Niall is pretty sure only one of those things is true. The rest gets him curious, there are so many sports out there for Niall to chose from and the last time he had pizza he enjoyed it. It's been a few years, but he knows it's a worldwide favourite.

"Architecture? What style do you like the most?" Niall is happy with the following question. Architecture is one of the few topics he can talk about for hours, but he needs to be careful. He needs to show excitement, answer the question with a bit more information than he asked for and then stop talking. He can do that.

"I really enjoy the houses that were built back in the renaissance. It's a whole new period of time when the old fashioned way of building became famous again and this time even bigger and more advanced. Some of my favourite buildings are the cathedral of Florence, Villa d'Este and St Paul's cathedral." Niall is quite confident with his answer. A lot of people like the old building just as much as Niall does and that makes Niall happy. Knowing there are people out there who just enjoy looking at masterpieces from years back. It's elevating.

"St Paul's cathedral is in the UK right?" Louis asks. Niall nods enthusiastic. It's so close by, but he never had the money or time to travel there. 

"I've been there. It was gorgeous. Did you enjoy it?" Niall shakes his head and Louis seems confused because if Niall said he loved it just a second ago then why is he shaking his head? 

"I have never been there, unfortunately. I would love to go one day though." Niall says. Louis understands Niall's point and looks around the room. It's not exactly awkward, but not comfortable either. Niall looks around the room too and tries to figure out what to say. 

Should Niall ask Louis about him or is that weird? Louis did show however interest in Niall's life and Niall feels like he should do the same. But does he just ask the same question or does he change it slightly? Maybe something like 'what are your hobbies?' or 'what do you enjoy?'. Ugh, everything sounds terrible. But Niall feels that Louis is growing impatient ans he should definitely say something now.

"What do you hobbies?" Niall eyes grow wide as he hears the wrong question out loud. This is too embarrassing. Niall is making a complete fool of himself by combining two of his questions. He should correct himself.

"I mean what are your interests?" Niall feels like wiping of the sweat on his forehead because that must be one of the worst thing that has ever publicly happen to him. Louis is just so impressive. Everything about him is so high and mighty and it makes Niall doubt himself more and more.

"I like acting and modelling and helping my mom out with her fashion line." Of course Louis needs to have his best self shine through everything. It can get annoying sometimes. Louis is just too perfect to be true. Niall isn't even sure perfect is the best word, Louis is like better than perfect. Fuck, this hurts.

"That's awesome. Ever though about starting your own fashion line?" Niall asks. He wants to get to know Louis better and what better way to do it to find out what his future plans are? 

"I would love to, but for now I just stick to acting and modelling." Sounds reasonable, but Niall wants more. He wants something all the other people don't know. He wants something juicy and exciting. He wants something Louis'-ish. 

"Do you act or model often? I mean you are also attending school and stuff." Niall doesn't want to come over as a pushy ignorant person who only cares about Louis because of his fame. He wants to care about Louis because Louis lets him to. It must be exhausting being so famous. Niall can only imagine all the fake people that come by. Niall hopes Louis knows he isn't trying to be nice because of Louis' status but because of Louis.

"I do a shoot every month, a few guest appearance on some TV-shows and a movie every year. It's easily balanced. Promo however can get intense sometimes, but you kind of get used to it." Niall is impressed. That's a lot that's happening in a year. Niall can only imagine the six digits on Louis' bank account. That guy most be able to buy Niall's life over a thousand times.

"Do you ever feel pressured into doing stuff or is it all because you enjoy it?" Niall is pushing his luck and he can see the slight change in Louis' face. It's more tense than before and Niall has a feeling Louis is about to say something nasty or walk away.

Before Louis can do something there is a knock at the door and Marcel walks in. No, Marcel and Vera walk in together and they are only looking at each other and Niall wants to puke. Marcel shouldn't be looking at her like that. He deserves that. Niall adverts his eyes back to louis to see what he thinks, but Louis is looking at Niall with a slight smirk on his face. Niall curses in his head. Of course his face would give away some anger when he sees Vera and Marcel. He tries to hold it back, but something so unexpected just breaks through. 

Louis stands up and walks out of the room with only a wink thrown at Niall. Niall feels himself get redder in his face. This is really embarrassing. Louis probably knows about his crush and Niall is sure Louis is going to tease him about it. Niall would have done the same thing. Unfortunately it's Niall who has the crush and a kissing couple on the bed next to him. This sucks.

Vera is moaning because Marcel is kissing her neck and Niall then decides to take a run for it. How disgusting it may look it gets worse every time he sees himself with Marcel. He should stop doing that but there is something about Marcel that Niall just can't let go. Niall really doesn't remember where it comes from and he wishes how turn it off again. It's been fun, but it's never going to happen. 

Niall keeps repeating that him and Marcel would never happen to himself over and over again. It makes the words lose their worth eventually so Niall leaves the hallway and walks towards the living room. Niall expected to see the rest of his friends watching a movie there, but there is no one to be seen. He keeps walking and eventually ends up in the kitchen. The ceiling lights are off but the lights above the cooking island are on. Niall hears someone walking around so he hides in the darkness. 

When he looks around the corner he sees Louis with that oh so familiar bottle of pills in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so tired and wrote the last part just now. I'm pretty sure I'm going to re-write a few parts. It's a but hazy this chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> (Ps. I really like ending with cliffhangers)


	9. Harry Leaves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger warnings: kidnapping, passing out, threaths and interrogation.**

Niall is sitting in the corner of a dark office behind a plant just so he can hide from Liam and Edward. Edward had pulled a confused Liam into the office. Niall scrambled behind the huge plant and looks at the drama expanding. Can he ever catch a break?

"I swear to god Liam, it's freaking me the fuck out!" Edward screams whispering. Liam looks at him with one eyebrow raised. 

"I'm sure it's not that bad." He says. Edward scoffs and walks over to the desk. He opens some drawers, says 'aha' when he finds the thing he was looking for and stalks back to Liam. Edward holds a paper in front of Liam's face. Liam can't read what's on it because it's too close. Niall can't see what's on the paper.

Liam grabs the paper, looks at Edward and starts looking at it. It all looks like a weird acting class for amateurs. They're bad. Liam seems to be as unimpressed as he was when he got dragged in.

"Give me 25,000 pounds or else...." Liam reads out loud. Niall has to cover his mouth before he laughs our loud. Niall understand where they are both coming from. It's just really good to know Edward is a major drama queen. 

"I understand why you are laughing at me. I probably would do the same when you get a secret message that threatens you." Edward says. Liam stops laughing and gives the paper back to Edward.

"You're making it too big. As soon as there is another one with more details I will personally take time to help you out, promise." Niall nearly coos at the sweet words that come out of Liam's mouth. Edward however doesn't seem too touched. Edward slowly walks back tot he desk to grab another paper. This time Liam is interested, making Niall suspect Liam didn't know about the second paper.

Edward hands it over to Liam who chokes on air when he reads it. He throws it onto the desk at looks at Edward. They are both close to tears and Niall desperately wants to know what's on the paper. Liam and Edward hug for a very long time. Niall hears a few whispered words he can't properly hear. It's a shock to his own system too. Compared to Marcel, this is way more important. Niall doesn't know what's on the paper but he has a bad feeling about it. Edward Styles, the evil triplet who Niall is still sure hates his guts and repeatedly treated him like shit, got tears in his eye from what's on that paper. Questions are spinning in Niall's mind, but the question that keeps coming back is: does Harry know about this? 

Niall nearly falls asleep waiting for Liam and Edward to leave the office so he can sneak out and check on Harry. Liam and Edward went from trying to solve the problem to making dinner reservations to throwing Zayn a huge birthday party. The whole conversation is a mess and Niall really doesn't want to hear more. In fact, he rather licks a homeless man's armpit than being here.

"We should go to bed." Niall fixes his stare and glances at the clock. 11.30 pm. He has been in this office for about two whole hours.

"Yeah. Goodnight." Edward says when he closes the door behind them both. Niall is left alone again. The plant started itching about an hour ago and Niall is happy he can escape sitting on this horrible hard wooden floor. There is no light shining through the crack of the door so Niall assumes there is no one out there. He can never be sure, because the same thing happened when he went for the kitchen and Louis was holding those damn pills. His head feels like exploding. 

Niall stumbles through the hallway and thinks about visiting Harry. But Harry shares a room with Louis so that would end up in a horrible screaming/crying match. He sees the door of his own bedroom and begs that Vera has left when he opens the door silently. Vera is still in bed with Marcel. They are both asleep and half naked. Niall creeps past Marcel's bed so he can get to the bathroom. He stops in his tracks when he hears Marcel turning around.  
"I guess you heard?" Is all Marcel asks. Niall isn't sure if they are thinking about the same thing but Niall agrees. Marcel hums softly and looks at Niall.

"Keep it silent. We do everything to get him back." Niall gets even more confused. Getting who back? Is there someone lost? Or worse killed? Niall shakes his head. Of course they aren't killed otherwise the others wouldn't try to get them back. Niall wants to slap the stupidity out of himself. He goes to ask Marcel who is missing when he sees that Marcel is asleep. Niall groans softly and forgets about the bathroom when he stumbles and throws himself onto his own soft relaxing bed.

"Much better." Niall whispers softly. It feels like heaven.

+

_Niall is sitting in a chair. The room he is in is dark and he can only see as much of the floor as the lamp shines on it. Niall is pretty sure he isn't alone. He feels another presence and when he is really quiet he swears he can hear someone beside himself breath. Niall isn't sure if it's a man or a woman who strapped him into this sickening chair. He does know that whoever did this is a sick bastard._

_Niall tries to get out of the ties, but they are way too tight. Niall screams. It's the only reasonable thing to do Niall thinks. He screams as loud as he can and when he silences down his tears fill with tears. No one is hearing him. What if this person is going to kill him?_

_"Please." Niall whimpers. There are footsteps to his left, but he can't turn his head to see it someone is there. The footsteps come closer and closer and Niall starts freaking out over and over again. Niall closes his eyes and bites the soft cloth in his mouth. It's unpleasant but Niall is thankfully still able to do anything. Niall quivers in fear because he knows the person is right behind him. Maybe they are holding a knife to stab him, or a gun to shoot him, or a baseball to hit him._

_There is a large hand on Niall's shoulders and Niall tries to get away but it just rests there. It doesn't move, there is no grip and it's unmoving. It sits still for a very long time just reminding Niall that there could be someone really dangerous. It annoys Niall because there is nothing more that he can do except waiting. The hand slowly creeps to hi neck and Niall has mixed feelings about that. He is happy the wait is over, but he is unhappy because he doesn't know what the person has in store for him next._

_The person lets their hand fall of Niall's trembling body. There is a small chuckle that causes Niall's brain to remember something. The footsteps slowly makes there way to Niall's front. Niall has his eyes closed and is debating whether he should open them or not. It could be a stranger, no that's impossible because Niall heard their chuckle before. Niall left the decision in the persons hands. The same hands that grab Niall's face and squeezes it. Because of the huge amount of pressure Niall opens his eyes and looks straight in the ones of his brother. His dead brother._

_His brother lets go and steps back. Niall is ashamed of his attire and his very being. If there is anyone on this world Niall doesn't want to disappoint it is his brother. The tall handsome older version of him. His excellent student, amazing football player, great businessman brother is looking at Niall's with hate and disgust on his face. His eyes are filled with tears but his mouth isn't shaking. His mouth is pressed in a thin line which he would always do if he was incredibly angry. Niall can't look at this unhappy and unhealthy version of his brother._

_"It's your fault." His brother says. A tear falls down on Niall's brother's cheek. Niall is getting sick of this snapping feeling in his heart. His stomach is clenching and rumbling. His heart is pumping harder, his eyes are crying and his chest is heavy. There is so much emotion coming from his brother and Niall feels a highly need to throw up. His mind is fucking with him on so many levels. Niall's breathing patron is unstable and he is slowly getting light headed. Through the tears Niall can see his brother leave._

_"No please! I didn't mean to! Please come back!" Niall screams, the cloth is making it difficult to speak now and Niall tries to get out of his binds but he is stuck. In a dark room with no one but his own terrible self. Niall looks back up at the direction his brother left him. Niall is still crying._

_"I love you." He whispers. It's too hard to scream it out loud. It seems less meaningful if those words are shouted. Niall doesn't even think his brother loves him anymore. And just that thought gets Niall again. He is wailing so hard his breathing becomes such a mess he passes out. Bond in a chair in his brother's basement._

+

Niall shakes awake the next morning. His heartbeat is racing and he is sweating. He glances at the clock and sees that it's early morning. He rises, steps out of the bed and makes his way towards the kitchen. His dream is stuck in his head playing the scenes over and over again. Niall boils some water for his tea. He keeps the dream in the back of his mind as he makes some dry toast with a hot cup of English tea. Great to wake up with. 

Niall sits down at the cooking island and munches on his dry toast. His thoughts are clearly somewhere else as he stares at the wall in front of him deadly. His mouth keeps chewing after he swallowed the whole bite. It takes some time for the next bite. Niall finishes his breakfast relatively early, but he keeps himself seated. He looks out of the window and sees the sun rising. It's beautiful and Niall would really like to pay attention to it, but the sentence his brother said just keeps repeating over and over again. Eventually his brother's voice turns into his mom's.

His mother always told him that it was his fault. That it was all his fault and that he shouldn't be the one living anymore. She was disappointed she ended up with Niall instead of his brother. His brother was perfect in every way and for the rest of his childhood Niall tried really hard to be just like his brother. It was hard hearing those words from your mother, but Niall agreed. He agreed that he should've died and that if his brother was still here his mom would never start overusing the medication. It would have been a win-win situation but Niall also fucked that up. 

The sun is fully risen when the first person walks into the room. It's Zayn. Zayn nods politely at Niall's blanc face and gets nothing in return. Niall just looks back at the window and imagines how different his life would be if that particular day never happened. It feels like he is in paradise by just thinking about it. Niall sighs happily and keeps on dreaming about his perfect world. 

Zayn however likes to be treated like he is actually in the room so he nudges Niall. Niall looks at Zayn but nothing happens. Niall goes back to his happy place so Zayn repeats his action. Niall shows off his irritation as he slaps Zayn's fingers away. 

"Fucking hell. I just wanted a good morning." Zayn says as he grabs the tea on the counter. Niall follows every move. He sit stills and does nothing but move his eyes. Zayn is getting scared of the way Niall is acting. 

"Are you okay?" Zayn asks as he looks at Niall. Niall seems off. His face is paler than normal and there are huge bags under his eyes. Niall shakes his head slowly and Zayn seems to get the message. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Niall shakes his head again and slowly walks out of the kitchen. Niall can feel the eyes of Zayn burning on his back. Niall feels bad about leaving Zayn there. Zayn tried to be nice, but Niall doesn't feel well enough to respond happily. There is so much on his kind. Last nights events, night events and morning sickness. Niall just wants to leave and never looks back. It's a weird thought he only had a few times before. He walks back to his room catches Vera and Marcel going for it again so he leaves with some if his books and goes straight to the school's library. He scolds himself for not thinking about school.

Tomorrow school starts again and Niall isn't feeling good about it. So much happened in the past week and it fucks with Niall's mind. Niall is still recovering from being hit by a chair and so much worse. He changed friends, rooms and personal beliefs. It's incredible how fast college can effect your self esteem and your rational thinking. 

Niall still gets looked at when he walks over to the library. People seem less mean then they did before. They still look at him and talk, but their faces show a different emotion. Some what respect. Niall make his way to the library short and fast. There is almost no one there since school hasn't started yet. Niall sits down in the right corner in the back and starts by reading his history book. He enjoys history, but he is bad in remembering in which order what happened. It doesn't mean he gets terrible grades, otherwise he wouldn't be in one of the best schools in England but it is a flaw that he can correct. 

He summarises chapter one and two and even makes some of the 'test yourself' exercises. It's not difficult nor easy and it gives Niall a good feeling about his capabilities. After history he switches to architecture. He reads and learns a little bit more about different kinds of architects. How an architects life can predict how they are going to built there building. There is a major psychology aspect that comes with it. Niall thought about studying psychology but he felt that it is wrong to do a profession which he actually needs. He though about calling the school's trust-person but is still denying the whole I-have-a-huge-mental-problem thing. Niall focusses back on the book when he gets interrupted. 

"Hey." A girl says when she sits down at the same table as him. Niall looks around and sees that she could've sit literally anywhere else. His eyes spot a small group of girls behind one of the bookshelves. 

"Hey." Niall says when he looks at the girl. She looks nice, but whatever she is trying to do is not helpful to Niall.

"I heard about Harry. Are you okay?" Niall looks up at the girl with a question on his tongue. She looks surprised when she notices Niall's confusion.

"Did I hear it wrong? Harry isn't kidnapped?" Niall eyes get wide and his mouth falls open. The girl looks terrified and walks away quickly. The group of girls who were smiling follow her with equal confusion. Niall closes his eyes and tries to think back about what he heard last night. Edward was scared because of a new threat and even Liam got afraid. They must have knows Harry was gone by then otherwise Marcel wouldn't have been able to tell Niall that they find 'him' again. As far as Niall knows Marcel didn't leave his bed. The piece of paper that Edward receives has something to do with the kidnapping. 

Niall throws his books in his backpack and runs back to his residence. He runs past people who seem to know what is going through his mind. When he gets to the building it's difficult to get inside because everyone is curiously standing outside looking. Niall finally gets through the door however and runs straight into a closing elevator. There are multiple people in the elevator that Niall has never seen. They stop at the sixth floor where everyone except for Niall steps out. Niall can see open doors with children standing there being questioned by police officers. 

The elevator closes and Niall gets dragged out of his thoughts. He types in the code and the elevator moves up. The place is a huge mess when he gets there. There are police officers and rich looking old people walking around looking for traces. Niall sees Edward and Marcel talking to what he thinks is their dad. This must be hard for them. They lost a brother and no one knows where he is. Louis is also a complete mess. He looks like he hasn't slept in days. His walk sways and the bags under his eyes are screaming. Niall wants to go over and hug him. But he does not. Niall walks over towards the office he was in for a very long time last night and closes the door behind him. He walks over to the desk and grabs the paper he has seen in Edward's hand.

"You didn't listen to what I told you. In return for your betrayal I took something that is worth so much more."

Niall reads it over and over again. It's mind-blowing. There is a kidnapper out there that took one of his new friends. Niall is getting to the angry phase. He should do something. He should look at the evidence and find Harry. It's the only logical thing to do. Niall folds the paper and hides it in his pocket. He turns to the door, but sees the doorknob turning. Niall sprints to his place behind the huge plant and sits down. 

Edward, his father and an officer walks into the office. Edward spots Niall first and Niall holds his breath. Edward walks with his face towards the plant so that the officer and his father stand with their backs to Niall. Edward tells them about the threats and searches for the the last one. The officer asks questions and his father is gazing down.

"When did you get the first threat?" Edward stops searching . "One month ago."

"What did it say?" Edward shakes his head. "The only thing I can remember is that they want 25.000 pounds." 

"Do you know any one with money problems?" Niall's eyes widen and Edward looks at him with tears in his eyes.

"I am not sure." Edward says cocking his head back to the officer. Niall is starting to shake. Edward looks like he is ready to have a emotional breakdown. Niall feels himself getting lightheaded.

"Who is the poorest person you know?" The officer broke Edward down. Edward is silently crying when he raises a single finger and points to the huge office plant. Niall shakes his head and starts crying too.

"No. I didn't." He says. Edward and Niall are uncontrollably crying when Niall gets dragged out of the office. Everyone around is alarmed and soon about ten officers are walking over. Niall gets lied down on the floor while he begs them to let him go. His arms get cuffed and Niall can feel himself starting to faint. The last thing Niall sees before he loses sight is the hurt and mortified faces of Edward, Marcel and Louis.

+

The room Niall's in is black and grey. His hands are cuffed to some hook on the table. The chair he is in is very uncomfortable. It might be one of those tactics to get the criminals to confess. Niall looks at the giant mirror and wonders if there are any people on the other side. Niall has been here for five and a half minutes, Niall's counting. Niall shifts in his chair and rolls his head. The cuffs are freaking annoying. Niall wants to bang his head against the table and pass out. He can't do that of course. He is about to be questioned about Harry's disappearing. Niall knows nothing. He wishes he wasn't so stupid to put the paper in his pocket. They found it when they were petting him down. 

The grey door opens and another police officer follows. The officer looks at the mirror/window glass and Niall knows he is being watched by more people. Niall swallows. The guy sits in front of him, looks at him with dark eyes and opens the file. Niall is starting to shake. It's incredibly how fast Niall started to worry. Niall knows he did nothing. He couldn't do anything without knowing, could he? Niall shakes his head and focusses on the guy in front of him. The guy is looking at him with interest and Niall adverts his gaze. It's been neatly ten minutes. 

"Where were you yesterday evening at 10pm?" The guy asks. Niall thinks back and remembers the dark office and the giant plant. It's embarrassing to say, but he needs this alibi.

"I was in the office I got arrested today. Exact same spot." The guy writes something down and focusses back on Niall. He clears his throat and Niall prepares himself for some quick questions.

"Is there anybody who can testify that?"

"I don't know. There could be cameras or Liam or Edward could have noticed me."

"What where you doing there?" 

"I was clearing my head, ready to leave when Liam and Edward entered so I sat down behind the plant." 

"Why?"

"Uh.. I didn't want them to feel I was taking over their space." Niall hates being this truthful.

"Do you have any issues with money?" 

"Yes."

"Explain."

"My mom isn't working anymore and the money that comes in is limited by the law." 

"Why isn't your mom working?"

"She serves from great depression after my brother and father died." 

"How did they die?"

"Not relevant."

"Fine. Did you have a good relationship with Harry?"

"I considered us friends." 

"Did you kidnap him?

"No." The guy nods, closes the file and walks out of the room again. It's now time for Niall to wait again. Niall doesn't know what is going to happen next but he does know that it is going to be one hell of a ride. Niall waits and waits but it has been a full hour and he is still in those fucking handcuffs. The room is starting to close up and Niall can feel himself getting claustrophobic. He hasn't had an attack in ages, but maybe because he is scared it is triggered. Niall calls out for help.

"Yes?" Yet another officer opens the door.

"I am getting claustrophobic. Is there anyway I can get cuffed in a bigger open place?" Niall asks the guy nods and closes the door. A few minutes after two people un-cuff him and walk with him through the hallways. Niall can see Edward and Marcel talking with a higher officer. Niall feels bad for them and he rather runs back home than be here for one more second. Marcel notices him.

They walk over to Niall and Niall is allowed to stop walking. With scared eyes Niall looks at Edward who is coming really close. Marcel seems to understand Niall's fear and grabs his brother's shoulder. They just stand there in front of Niall. Niall can't recognise the emotion on their faces. Is it relieve? Is it anger? Niall doesn't understand.

"Harry is safe." Niall smiles and goes for a hug but the cuffs prevent that from happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tadaa! I update this witching between weeks because of my other fanfic. I hope you liked it. It's intense, I know.


	10. What Happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Possible Trigger Warnings: Hallucinations, small coma and vague discribed voilence.**
> 
>  
> 
> To give this chapter some clearance, here is what happened before:
> 
> Friday= Niall gets hit by a chair; takes the pill
> 
> Saturday= Niall gets woken up every two hours; reads the small note to Vera; Vera and Marcel in bed; Louis with the pills; crying Edward in the office with Liam
> 
> Sunday= Nightmare about brother; investigators in the office accuse him; police questioning bc Harry is kidnapped
> 
> Monday= This chapter :)

Niall wakes up because of a very annoying beep by his head. Niall groans as he tries to open his eyes which is very difficult for some reason. It's his bedroom. Well Marcel's and his bedroom. Niall wants to turns around so he can fall back asleep again, but Louis is asleep in a chair next to Niall's bed. Niall opens his eyes wider and slowly takes in the room. There are clothes in his closet, there isn't any sign of Marcel just like always and all the furniture is exactly where it was before. 

Something did change. Niall looks down on himself and cries out when he notices a needle in his right arm. The needle is connected to a small rolling device which beeps. It made Niall wake up. Niall is curious for answers and turns back to Louis. Slowly Niall grabs the pillow from behind him and turns forward. It's very tiring and Niall feels like he has run miles just now. He stops for a second and breathes through. He throws the pillow with no power and all and sees how gracefully it falls down onto Louis' lap. Louis keeps on sleeping.

"Louis." Niall voice is crooked and his mouth is very dry. It's weird how he didn't notice that before. He does remember always noticing everything about his body. Maybe it's because he slept for a long time. Niall looks at the clock and sees it's five in the morning. 

"Why would I wake up at five o'clock in the fucking morning?!" Niall whispers as he falls back on the mattress. It's very uncomfortable laying down without his pillow, but he can't reach Louis lap. Niall is wide awake now and he knows he isn't going to fall asleep soon. His body however seems like giving up. He feels energised mentally but physically he feels like shit. Every move seems like too much. Niall can't help himself but wonder why he is like this. 

He thinks back about the day before, but he doesn't remember a lot. He remembers Louis with the pills, Marcel and Vera, Edward crying and Harry being kidnapped. The last thing about yesterday he really does not remember. Maybe he passed out after hearing that Harry is okay? Maybe he was really tired? It's so confusing. Niall sighs again and then he hears Louis waking up. 

Niall is looking at Louis tossing and turning around in the uncomfortable chair and he really wants to help, but only lifting one finger is way too tiring. Niall clears his throat and yet Louis keeps on sleeping. Niall looks at the ceiling. He is doing nothing for a very long time and slowly he can feel himself starting to think. Nothing makes sense. First he takes the pill and then twenty four hours later he is laying in bed with a needle in his arm. Marcel got back together with Vera, Louis with that bottle op pills, Edward being threatened and Harry being kidnapped. It seems unreal. It feels unreal. And then there is one question left to ask;

"Is it even real?" Niall says. He closes his eyes and wills himself not to cry. He can't get a hold of his thoughts or emotion and it's slowly killing him. 

"You're up." Niall opens his eyes and looks at Louis. Louis is standing next to the bed instead of sitting in the chair. Louis is looking at him with an annoyed face. Has Niall done something? Niall nods meekly and looks around the room so he doesn't have to look at Louis. Louis sighs.

"I am going to call the nurse." Niall looks at him with his eyebrows crunched. 

"Will this needle leave me?" Niall asks pointing at his arm. Louis smiles a little and shrugs. He turns around and walks out of the room leaving Niall alone. Niall wants to stand up since he has this small fling of energy streaming through his veins. He sits up and swings both his legs to one side of the bed. He waits a few seconds to collect his breathing. It's more difficult than he thought. He grabs the moving pole and pulls himself onto his feet. He is dressed in a hospital gown and some boxers. Niall wonders who changed him into this. Could it be Marcel? 

Niall shakes his head and curses at himself. He should stop thinking about Marcel. There are way more important thing going on right now. Like Harry and school and Louis. Niall wants to  
not have a crush. It's exhausting. Everything on his mind is Marcel. It's disgusting. 

He walks towards the bathroom with his hand on the rolling device. Half way through it starts beeping and Niall screams out of annoyance. Apparently he isn't the only one getting annoyed, because suddenly a raging Edward is standing in his room.

"What the fuck are you doing out of bed?" Edwards screams. Niall flinches at the loud voice. The room starts spinning bringing Niall unto the floor. He sits uncomfortable for a few moments before Edwards grabs him and walks back to his bed. Niall doesn't struggle. Edward lays him down on his bed a little bit too harsh for Niall's liking. Niall doesn't comment on it.

Edward still looks like he could kill a dude. His hands are shaking and his face is red. Niall takes a second look because something looks off about him. His mouth keeps twitching, his eyes keep drooping and his hair is absolute mess. The bags under Edwards eyes tell Niall everything he needs to know.

"Can I help?" Niall asks. His voice is soft and breakable. Edward shakes his head and looks out of the window. Niall focusses on Edwards neck vein and sees Edwards heartbeat going crazy. Edward rubs his right hand over his face and gasps. Niall knows he is on the brink of madness and it scares him. He only knows Edward compact. Except that one time in the office, but Niall isn't sure if that's real or not. He is too afraid to bring that up.

"School starts in three hours and our parents nearly blackmailed us into going. We are going to be pissed off the whole way through." Edward moves his head before his eyes train on Niall's. "Good luck." Niall gulps, an instant reaction on the shivering words. 

Louis enters the bedroom with Marcel by his side. Marcel is dressed in sweatpants and a cute pink t-shirt. His hair isn't in its usual fringe. Marcel looks soft. Marcel divines the word soft by looking like that. He is half awake and is clearly uncomfortable by all the light. Niall wants to cuddle him close and whisper in his ear. 

"I called the nurse. She says she is checking you up before going to school." Louis says taking his seat next to Niall. Niall nods and starts fidgeting with his sheets. He feels like he doesn't belong in the presence of them. They stand powerful and rich, while he is hooked on a machine. They dominate this room with all their mighty and Niall is intimidated. Niall wants to cower in fear so he keeps his eyes on his sheets even when Marcel starts to talk.

"Do we know more about Harry?" Marcel voice is soft and yet firm. Niall relaxes at the tone, but the words leave him curious. Curious for their plan, their opinion and their feelings. It must hurt to lose someone so close to you. If Niall would've been in their situation with his brother he would be so broken that nothing in the world matters more than finding him. It must be difficult for them to be send to school and away from the slur.

"My dad is hiring about five private detectives. I'm sure we will have him back within a few hours. Those guys know what they're doing." Louis says. Niall sees his hands and how the are twirling around each other. Niall knows Louis is afraid his words aren't real. Niall wants to help them.

"They better do. I hate going to school now. This sucks majorly." Edward says leaning against the wall. Niall can't see him but the slight bump against the wall sounds familiar. He always leans against walls. Marcel keeps quiet. He is moving his centre point from side to side. They should do something distracting. They should be able to let the worry go. Niall grimaces when he hears something break.

"Edward..." Louis says. There is no firmness, judgement or meanness in his voice. It sounds like Louis feels the exact same way and knows debating with Edward about it is useless. Edward leaves the room, or someone enters. Niall can't quite contain his curiosity and looks up. Vera.  
And Elle and Dani. But Vera, Vera goes straight to Marcel and wraps herself in his comforting arms. Niall's mouth twitches without his consent and Niall feels this pressing feeling on his chest. He wants that. He needs that. It's bad enough he never had that feeling snd is wondering how it feels and it's all bad. Niall shakes his head tries to focus on everyone instead of the couple on the right of him. 

"We just came to check up on Niall and of course you guys. Our condolences." Edward smashes a beautiful and probably really expensive vase onto the ground before Niall can even react on Vera's sentence. Everyone flinches away. Niall looks back at Vera and sees her trembling body standing their alone. Marcel took a step back in the same anger as his brother. 

"He is not dead!" Edward screams. "He is not fucking dead!" He screams louder as he falls on his knees. Louis and Marcel are by his side in seconds. Dani and Elle are too. Niall wants to go over and show his support, but he doesn't want to enrage Edward further. Vera leaves. 

"Just give him some space to breath." Marcel says curling in next to Edward. Niall sees how Elle and Dani whisper their sorry's and silently leave the room. Niall feels his airway loosen. Louis and Marcel help Edward to the chair next to Niall's bed. Edward looks disgusting. His eyes are wet, his nose is running, his head is spinning and his face just screams pain. Niall wants to help.

"I want to sleep." Edward says. Niall climbs out of bed even though Marcel is trying to make him stay. Their isn't really an resistance and eventually Marcel grabs Niall hand to help him. Niall moves slowly and smiles at the hand in his. It's giant and incredibly soft. Niall wants it to rub all over his body. Niall looks up and sees Marcel staring at him. They both flush red.

Louis helps Edward onto Niall's bed while saying they wake him in two hours for school. Edward is gone within a few seconds without sheets and everything. Marcel takes Niall towards the kitchen and sits him down at the cooking island. Niall looks around and keeps his eyes trained on the drawer Louis took those pills out. If that was even real. Marcel places tea in front of Niall and starts making breakfast. It smells delicious and Niall is very hungry. Maybe he should ask someone what happened.

"Marcel." Niall says after a while. His tea gone. Marcel is making scrambled eggs with toast. Marcel hums in response. 

"What happened after I went to the police station." Marcel turns off the stove and turns around looking upset. He leans on the cooking island as he looks at Niall with interest. 

"What are you talking about? You never went to the police station." Marcel says. Niall's head expands twice his size and explodes. So it wasn't real. But what was? Niall's head is twirling with questions he needs to ask. What happened? 

"What do you mean?" If he didn't went to the police office than what was he doing? And where?

"You passed out for at least twenty four hours. Yesterday, Sunday, you were asleep." Marcel says with ease. He puts the scrambles eggs on a plate and the toast on the other. He sits in front of Niall and places everything down. He starts eating. Niall is too distracted to eat though.

"I passed out? In my sleep?" Niall grabs a toast because he really can't help but be really hungry. He could eat a horse. 

"The nurse predicts you passed out for twenty four hours because you took the medicine." Niall remembers everything clearly now. His head and body hurt so much and he just wanted to sleep. So he took a pill and did fall asleep. For twenty four hours. Holy shit.

"But then how do I know about Harry, Vera and you and Marcel being threatened?" It's Marcel's turn to be confused. Niall munches in his eggs while Marcel grabs the teapot and refills their mugs.

"Can you tell me what happened yesterday? Please be detailed." Niall asks Marcel. Marcel nods and clears his throat before he starts talking. 

"I tries to wake you up since it looked like you had a nightmare, but you just didn't wake up. You calmed down so I went to the kitchen and got updated on Harry." Before Marcel can talk further Zayn enters the kitchen. He looks less restless than the others but still conflicted. He sits down next to Marcel and grabs some toast. He throws some eggs on it and eats it. 

"I looked into the medicine you took." Zayn says as he finishes his toast. Niall and Marcel look at Zayn. He is mysterious today and it pisses Niall off.

"Apparently the medicine can cause hallucinations within the first twenty four hours and it depends on your emotion while you take it, but if your heart rate is faster than normal you may experience what experts call a small coma for the last twenty four hours within the next forty eight hours." Zayn says before drinking Marcel's tea. 

Niall thinks about the last two days and how mind blown Saturday was. He saw that letter to Vera, the bottle of pills in Louis' hand and a crying Edward. There must have gone something wrong in his head. Over all the information of that day has the same basis of the truth. But Niall is now confused on what he actually did Saturday and missed on Sunday.

"That sounds relevant to me. I was scared to take the pill." Niall says looking at the last bit of toast on his plate. He gulps down his tea and watches Marcel and Zayn silently talking to each other with looks and little head nods. Niall wants to be a part of it. 

"Take a shower and then we're slowly going to school. I'll check your outfit." It's clear Marcel and Zayn want him to leave by Zayn's word so he nods and walks back to his bedroom with the needle in his arm. The nurse is in his bedroom and walks over to him quickly. Niall didn't know Zayn was a fucking fortune-teller. 

"Niall. How are you?" Her sweetness instantly helps Niall relax. He nods excitingly and when he thinks about it, while the nurse is talking freely, his life is really good right now. He is going to start school today and Niall knows he will get happier when new information will enter him. Of course the whole Harry situation suck, but Niall feels like it's going to end up well.

"I am going to unhook you and then I'm setting up an appointment for you later today. Right before dinner, alright?" The nurse asks. She starts to remove the needle out of Niall's arm and Niall looks at it with interest. It's long and very thin. She puts a small bandage on it and cleans up the machine. Niall sits silently and waits for her to leave. 

He stands up and walks towards the bedroom. The nurse told him he will feel more strength when he is awake for longer. At one point a day he could feel himself getting more energy-less and then he needs to rest on doctors orders. Niall opens the bathroom door, takes a deep breath and goes to stand in front of the mirror. 

It's been a long time without actually seeing what he is seeing now. He looks alright. The bruise on his cheek is fading and barely noticeable. The chair left a nasty bruise on the side of his head. It's past the stage of dark blue or purple and is slowly turning into the ugly yellow-green phase. He wonders if it will stay long. As he presses down onto it it hurts a lot. He should be careful with his head today. 

He changes out of the hospital gown and realises Zayn, Edward, Marcel and Louis must have seen his whole appearance in it. The thought leaves red marks on Niall's cheeks. He quickly takes of his underwear and socks before he walks over towards the shower. He steps inside the cabin and shuffles to the back to make sure the cold water won't hit him. He turns the shower on.

Coming out of the shower his body feels way different than it did before. He feels okay again. His body isn't hurting as much and his headache also died down. He did however started to sniff his nose. It's probably just a cold. He fastens the towel around his hips and exits the bathroom. 

Marcel takes the bathroom next while Niall walks into his new closet. Everything in it looks awfully expensive. It makes the friendship he has more real. There are multiple suits and dress shoes. The cloths hang on season and colour and it fulfils Niall's fantasy of having fitting clothes. It's September so the weather isn't dramatic yet. 

He changes into simple black jeans that sit a little too tight for his liking, but when he looks at the other two he sees that they are even tighter, and a red with black plaid blouse. He choses the red shoes he got from Louis before he moves and stands in front of the giant mirror in the corner. He looks like an average teenager. His hair is a mess though so he needs to try and fix that. The skinny jeans do look good and even the blouse is the exact right size.

He goes into the bedroom again forgetting to look through the whole closet. It's not that he isn't thankful. He is just really focussed on school. He packs his bag when Marcel enters the room, towel around his hips. Niall does everything to hide his obvious stare as Marcel stops by his desk for a little to write something down. Niall looks at the muscles in Marcel's back and he can feel himself getting excited. He should've jacked off in the shower.

Marcel ignores Niall's stare and moves to his own closet. Niall zips his back close after he snaps himself out of his thoughts. It's not good to think about Marcel in that way. He should be focussed on school. He feels ready. He looks at his bed and sees that Edward has left it clean. It's weird he didn't notice that before but he eventually did notice and that's all that should matter. 

Zayn and Louis enter the room dressed entirely different than Niall. Louis is wearing black skinny jeans with a beige coloured knitted sweater on top of that. His hair is styles in a fancy quiff and just by looking at him Niall knows he is way more rich and powerful than the average teenager. Zayn looks even worse. He still looks handsome though. He is wearing a red, white and grey blouse with a dark blue blazer with a golden pin on it. His pants are burgundy coloured. He looks better than Niall did on his parents wedding day.

"It's not bad, but it's not the style we're looking for. We're off to a highly professional environment not a frat boy party. Lets change." Louis stays behind as Zayn and Niall walk back into Niall's closet. When they are just inside Niall faintly hears Edward entering their room. He wants to see how he looks. 

"You can never go wrong with any sweater in your closet. Just put on this dark blue sweater with this white blouse under it and these grey pants with this brown belt and those brown boots. Understand?" Zayn asks as he hands every piece of clothing over. Niall nods his head and Zayn leaves. 

The tightness of the sweater is really bothering Niall, but he doesn't dare speak up to disrespect Zayn for buying all these clothes. He has to admit that he looks absolutely awesome. He should take notes on how to dress himself. It could make his life much less complicated. 

Niall walks into the bedroom and catches everyone looking at him. They seem proud of him and Niall starts blushing and curls in on himself. Louis tuts and walks closer to Niall. He grabs Niall's shoulder and straightens them to a whole new level of cockiness. Niall grimaces. That takes up a lot of muscle strength. 

"When you walk in an outfit like that and us you need to walk with absolute confidence. Walk." And Niall does. Niall walks towards where Edward and Marcel are standing and then walks back to Louis and Zayn. Louis sways his head side to side and walks the last round alongside Niall. Niall needs to tilt his head a little bit more, calm down on the arm movement and quicken his pace. It takes a few more round before Niall totally has it under control. They seem impressed.

"Lets go to school!" 

+

Everything went well. Niall was having the time of his life. Zayn, Edward, Louis and Marcel are really well known and looked up to. Niall felt like royalty walking through he walls of his school. He was living the dream, until math came along.

Niall understands math, Niall understands nearly everything. What he doesn't understand however is how he got to be his math teacher. That person should be locked within bars and be kept away from any form of society whatsoever. The truth is Niall is probably making it worse than it is since he doesn't seem to recognise Niall, yet. Niall knows however that when the day comes he gets recognised by him, it's his last day if his royalty life.

"Is there a way to skip math?" Niall asks when they are having lunch. Edward and Vera just had their lunch speech and it was amazing, as always, but Niall really needs some good news. There has been no communication between them and their parents on the whole Harry situation which makes everyone including Niall to be embarrassingly close to the edge. 

"Why?" Louis asks forking around his chicken. Niall scrunches his nose and takes a bite of his rice. 

"The teacher hates me." Niall says. That seems to grab attention from most people at their table and it makes Niall regret ever saying anything. Now they are going to ask how he knows that.

"You don't even know him. Or do you?" The tone of Louis is daringly close to a actual punch and it leaves Niall gasping for air. He grabs his glass and drinks it. 

"He is a family friend. Rather not talk about it, just forget it." He says. He excuses himself and walks towards the toilets. The dining hall has their eyes trained on him, but he doesn't so mercy. He walks with confidence towards the only door he knows leads to the toilets. 

+

_Harry shivers as the cold water is thrown over him. The man laughs and disappears behind the black curtain. Harry wishes his wrists weren't tied do he could rub his arms in attempt to get warm. The guy has been doing that to wake him up a few minutes after he falls asleep. It's horrible._

_There is no way to know how late it is but by listening to his biological clock it says that midnight has passed and morning has risen. He feels out of himself. He wants to be out of himself and just float back to reality. He should've been more careful. He should've known what would happen when he followed a stranger to his car. He should've been more careful. He should've been more careful._

_The guy reappears from the curtain holding a metal tool and a camera in his hand. Harry tries to turn away from the flashing silver as it comes closer and closer._

_He should've been more careful._

_He should've been more careful._

_Harry screams gets muffled by the strangers hand._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realised I was going a little fast with this story so this is my attempt to slowling it down. Please know that I'm still finding my way around this maze and I hope you'll stay along for the journey even though it is unclear sometimes.
> 
> I can be vague lol
> 
> (I know it was two days late, but who cares?) 
> 
> Byeee


	11. The Mystery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: detailed stuff that can make you uncomfortable

Niall feels empty. His room is empty most of the time since he is busy with schoolwork and Marcel has been sleeping over at Vera's. It's all a mess. The people he lives with are slowly losing their sanity and there is nothing he can do about it. It makes Niall feel terribly unpowered. There is nothing he can do. He has been to the police station when the drug he took on Friday night stopped working completely. The asked him question different than all the other ones and Niall had nothing to answer. He knows nothing about Harry. There isn't a possible way Niall can help finding Harry. 

School has been an incredible help to clear out his mind on the hardest days. It's Friday again now and he is up and running about. There is a lot he still needs to do to get back on working further. He hasn't got a lot homework for the upcoming weekend so he should be good to work further for most of his subjects. He is in the library right now, his favourite place to be. His history book is opened in front of him, but he isn't summarising the paragraph. No his eyes catch Louis walking into the library and Niall is curious.

Louis has been a total mess ever since Harry's disappearing. He doesn't do his hair, since barely gets out of bed. They always see him at dinner it's the only place Niall can see the bitten lips, the running nose, the blue and purple swollen bags under his eyes and then his unfocused eyes looking around to look at everything that makes a noise. His eyes are red and Niall can see that it hurts to even blink. He wonders how bad Louis has been sleeping.

Niall packs his bag and slings it across his shoulder to follow Louis upstairs. There are study books upstairs about every subject you can think of. Louis doesn't seem to know where he should be looking. He is walking with a small limp as if he hurt is right ankle. Niall looks down as he follows Louis small body limping across the carpeted floor. Louis dunks into a row of bookshelves when people come his way and Niall follows. He can see Louis in the other aisle over the bookends from the shelve in front of him. Louis turns his back to the two babbling ladies when they walk by. Louis doesn't want to be noticed.

They walk further towards the left corner of the upper level. Louis keeps his head tucked in his hoodie and Niall feels kind of bad for not trusting his friend. The whole bottle of pills never came up between Niall and Louis. He doesn't know if what he saw what real and he doesn't feel like putting so much weigh on Louis' shoulders. Louis eventually stops walking and traces the books with his finger. He stops at one book about kidnapping. Niall feels his heart sink through the floor.

They are in the psychological section of the library. There is a book on every mental illness standing there. Louis picks the one that can relate to Harry the most for when he gets back and Niall feels himself getting lost. Louis is right in front of his eyes screening a few pages of a book about post traumatic stress disorder and how to help people go through it. It warm Niall's heart, but at the same time he just wants to keep Louis safe from all the bad things in the world, hold a mirror for him and show Louis just how good of a person he can be. 

Louis leaves the library after that without getting noticed by any of the people he walked past. Niall retrieves back to his usual table and sits down. Maybe he should look into books about helping people get their lives back after such a tragedy. Harry is going to have a rough time when he gets back. Niall wonders if Harry is okay now. Not hurt or killed. It would be nice to see a gleeful Harry return, but the chances are minimal. This could change Harry in the worst way possible. Maybe that's why Louis is so afraid. His best friend of ages is missing and he doesn't know what to do when he comes back. 

Niall tries to focus on his history book, but totally lets himself go. He is fantasising about saving Harry from a dark basement. When the police officers arrest the man that kidnapped Harry Niall walks over to Harry who is pressed in a corner, crying his eyes out. He will grab Harry's hand and walk him out into the sunlight with a friendly hand on his back right to where he belongs. In the arms of his mother. The heart of everyone gathered there. Niall wishes he could do so in real life. It would make all of this for all of them a bit easier.

+

To everyone's surprise Louis isn't at the dining table when dinner gets served. It's broccoli with a nice steamed salmon and some baked potatoes. It's way to extreme for Niall's liking just like any other meal he has gotten over the past few weeks. He doesn't say anything about it though because all the other people take this kind of meal as everyday food. Maybe middle class people also think this isn't so extreme since Niall only got carrots, mashed potatoes and eggs. Or nothing.

It's quiet the whole way through dinner and in the end everyone is quite uncomfortable. There is an unspoken rule that you can't leave the table before a quarter to seven no matter how busy you are. It's half past six now and from the looks of it the next fifteen minutes are going to be hell. No one knows what to talk about. Not having Louis' presence around fucks with everybody's mind. They kind of need him there for emotional guidance. Normally in a situation like this Edward would take the step everyone is too shy to make, but this time he stays quiet. 

When the clock strikes a quarter to six everyone leaves the table as soon as possible. The disperse over their residence alone or in a small group. They talk. Niall doesn't know about what they talk specifically. He does know that the subject changes when he gets involved in a conversation. They choose a subject closer to poor people than snobby rich people and even quit talking with extravagant words. It blows Niall's mind sometimes. Maybe they can't help it or maybe it is in Niall's best interest. But he isn't stupid and he never will be. Not after being abused mentally and physically, not after being bullied, not after being beaten up by older guys, not after being hit over his head by a chair, and not after taking a life threatening drug. 

Niall stands up from his place at the table and walks towards the kitchen. He still hasn't opened that single drawer his eyes keep looking at. This time he doesn't even come close to it like he is scared someone is going to scare him shitless. He makes himself some tea and drinks it when he stands near the cooking island. The kitchen is clean and if it was Niall's concern he wouldn't have thought dinner gets made ready here. In fact, it's so spotless he doesn't believe it gets made here. Maybe there is another kitchen somewhere he hasn't been before. That must be it. He hasn't seen the chef nor the people who wash their dishes. It confuses him.

After he drinks his tea he gets ready to leave the kitchen for a visit to the toilet when Liam walks in. He takes a seat at the cooking island on the other side of Niall. He sighs loudly and Niall feels kind of uncomfortable. Niall hasn't talked much to Liam the past week, maybe because Liam was too busy to do anything else than talk to his father about Harry and going to school. 

"Shall I make you some tea?" Niall asks in a fake english accent. Liam has his head rested on his two arms who rest on the cooking island. Liam chuckles slowly and runs his fingers over his head. He nods and smiles at Niall. Niall pours him a glass of tea. When he puts the glass in front of Liam Liam reaches out instantly.

"Louis has been unreachable ever since Harry went missing." Liam says with a heavy heart. Niall sits himself down on the same side of the cooking island as Liam is and turns to him. It's going to be a though conversation.

"I am a bit worried about him. Somehow it looks like he has got the worst blow of everyone. Not saying that the others don't worry, but you know." Liam nods and smiles with half of his lips. He turns his head to Niall, drinks his tea within a few seconds and clears his throat. 

"I have to go and talk to my dad. Maybe you can talk to Louis. It may help. Louis is very open to new people and a new perspective. It could be harsh to do emotionally, but if you stay calm talking with a stressed out Louis isn't the worst." Niall nods his head an watches Liam leave. Maybe he should go and talk to Louis. He maybe can't save Harry, but he can try and save Louis.

Niall takes all the courage he has in his small frame body and stands up. On the way to Louis' room he passes a muttering Edward who seems mad. He doesn't notice Niall which makes him happy when he struts to the door. He isn't sure if he should knock or not so to hide his embarrassment for if he does it wrong he checks the hallway. There is no one so Niall raises his fist and knocks three small times. 

"Come in." Louis' voice is muffled by the door but Niall can hear him. He opens the door and takes a second to look around. Because of his claustrophobia he checks the room he is going to be in and if he deems it safe enough he will enter or stay. Louis' and Harry's room is gigantic. It's bigger than Niall' and it seems more like a home than a home decoration magazine. Louis is seated on his bed facing the wall and the bed frame. He does look behind him quickly to see who entered. Niall walks in on the tip of his toes. He doesn't want to startle Louis.

Louis is hunched over with about five books and a MacBook in front of him. From the looks of it he is reading all the books and taking notes. Niall wonders if Louis got into the school on intelligence or because of his money. He sits down on the bed just like Louis is. Louis doesn't say anything and Niall takes that as a reason to stay. He fixes his mind slowly and barely mutters his first words.

"Are you okay?" It's a stupid question Niall knows that. Louis has bags under his eyes that will last a lifetime before going away. He has the look of a seventy year old man who had gone through hell and back. Louis isn't okay. Anyone who is willing to look at him can see that. Yet, Niall asks the question, he needs to know how deep the conversation is going to be.

"No." Louis says. He takes his hands away from the laptop but keeps looking at the pages. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Niall asks softly. He wants to put a hand on Louis for reassurance, but he keeps himself in line. Louis closes the books and throws them of bed. He puts his laptop on the ground safely, turns around and lays down on his sheets. His hands are folded on his stomach and he blinks up at the ceiling. Niall mimics Louis' movements.

"Harry and I were best friends. Are best friends." Louis starts. He sounds emotionally bruised and Niall really wants to get up and walk out. If there is going to be a hint of crying on Louis' side he probably gets an emotional breakdown himself. He has never been good with handling people who show a lot of emotion. That's why he loves buildings. Buildings don't have emotion. 

"I want this all to be over soon. I want to hear Harry's breathing when I fall asleep instead of this maddening silence. I want to wake up by Harry rolling my around instead of a sharp knock at my door by Edward to see if I'm even alive. I feel so helpless." Louis says. Louis' eyes are closed and Niall can feel that Louis doesn't want to be open like this. It's completely rational so Niall mimics Louis' movements again when he sits up. They're seated in front of each other just looking. 

Louis clears his throat, looks at the ceiling to make sure his eyes aren't watery and looks back down at Niall. Niall can feel the wind of the blow before the actual blow and he understands it. He wanted to do the exact same thing to everyone who asked about his dying brother. He wanted to grab them by their shirt pull them close, say some harsh words and then push them. As far as possible with as much force as possible. He wanted them to blow through the walls and fall in a deep spiralling mess of their own sorrow. 

It's exactly what Louis is trying to do now. But his words aren't as harsh as expected and neither is his push. He is exhausted from worrying about his best friend that he can't even push Niall of his bed. Instead Niall barely moves from his place and Louis keeps looking at him like he is crazy. Niall is looking at Louis. Louis is slowly crumbling down in front of him and he doesn't know what to do. He can see the emotions flash across his face and Niall just wants to hold him.  
Instead of holding Louis Niall steps out of bed and looks down at a curled up Louis. He doesn't know what to do. He can't just leave without saying or doing anything. He came here to save Louis, but the result is something completely different. Niall tries to recall what Louis told him about Harry. He gets an idea, but it will only work if Louis agrees on doing it. 

Niall pushes Louis around the bed and makes sure he is comfortable laying under his sheets. Louis doesn't know what's happening and it takes a while to ask Niall what he is doing. Niall shushes him and to his surprise Louis lets him. Niall closes the curtains to make the room as dark as possible and lays down on Harry's bed. It's uncomfortable since this isn't his bed and he should not be aloud on it. Niall climbs under the sheets and looks at Louis curled up form. He looks at Niall and Niall lays down. 

"Goodnight." Niall says. He makes sure he breath sounds a bit like Harry's. Low and loud. Louis squirms around for a good few minutes before he stays. Niall feels himself drifting of too, but he makes sure he keeps himself awake. If he loses consciousness he will lower the sound of his breathing without his knowledge. He keeps himself on the edge until it's impossible and then falls long after Louis asleep.

\+ 

When Niall wakes at 2 o'clock in the morning he is glad to see that Louis is still asleep. It's been a full week now since Harry has gone missing and he is starting to lose his faith. He knows that after one week the survival rate of the kidnapped children is very low. It will damage Louis further to realise Harry is probably dead. Just like everyone else -and then Niall is talking about the entire population on earth- the most damaging thing that could ever happen is missing someone you love and not knowing where they are and if they are alive. It fucks with their minds because they can't properly close the case. There is always that little voice in the back of their head that keeps on saying that there is still a little chance their loved ones will return any day. Thinking like that is slow suicide. Niall would know.

Niall stays in Harry's bed but undresses himself a bit further since it's way to hot under the sheets. He keeps quiet when Louis twist and turns and instantly Niall lowers his breathing. Louis stays asleep. Niall doesn't feel welcome in Harry's bed but he doesn't want to leave for Louis' sake either. He climbs out of bed and dresses himself in the close he just took off. He walks quietly towards the door and when he looks back at Louis he sees Louis staring back at him. 

"Thank you." Louis says quietly. Niall nods his head and smiles. He lowers his breathing and waits a full fifteen minutes looking at Louis' body while his hand lays upon the doorknob. Louis is asleep and Niall leaves. He walks past the kitchen and the living room before he notices that there is no one around. If he would check every corner of every room that isn't a bedroom there is only a small chance he will be seen. Niall looks around him, drops his shoes and walks back through the living room towards the kitchen. In the kitchen he turns on the little lights above the stove. His eyes fall on that one particular drawer. He looks around one again before he steps closer.

His hands touch the cold metal before he opens the drawer. He slowly pulls it towards him. It takes some courage to look down and find the bottle of pills, but before he can move his eyeballs he hears someone walking towards him. He closes the drawer without a peek and bites his lip hard. He should've looked. 

Liam walks into the kitchen without noticing Niall and grabs a class of milk. He places it in the microwave for a minute before he turns around again. His eyes catches Niall standing by the oven and his eyes pop wide for a second. When he remembers Niall actually lives where he lives he relaxes his stance and comes closer to Niall. 

"How is Louis?" He asks Niall. Niall understands that Liam is a worrying about his friend and the curious look is a real cute face. Niall smiles and nods his head excitedly.  
"He is asleep." Liam is so delighted about the news that he grabs Niall by his arms and raises him in the air. Niall hiccups and Liam puts him down again and then does something rational. He gives Niall a hug. Niall can feel himself wondering if Marcel would hug him too if he tells Marcel that he got Louis to go to sleep. It would be a privilege to have Marcel's arms wrapped around him. Just holding him. 

"I won't keep you for long. You must be tired. Go to sleep I will see you after my football match tomorrow. If Louis wakes up when most of us are away then stay here to relax or come to the match to distract him." Liam says as he grabs his mug from the microwave. Niall nods his head and walks past Liam out of the kitchen after throwing him a goodnight. Liam says it back. 

When Niall enters his bedroom he sees a light shining from the bathroom. Niall looks at Marcel's bed and sees Vera sleeping there. Niall sighs out loud before walking towards his own bed and falling down. He undresses him as far as comfortable and cuddles under his sheets. Marcel emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later. Niall can see his lose curls and lean body dressed in a boxer in the door opening. When Marcel switches of the light in the bathroom Niall's entire sight gets black. He follows Marcel footsteps with his head because of his hearing. Slowly his eyes adapt to the darkness and Niall can see a shadow getting into the other bed. 

"Sleep well love." Niall holds his breath at the sound of Marcel's voice saying a sweet word to him. Niall smiles at himself and breathes out. He goes to say something back but then he hears another voice. 

"You too cutie." Vera's voice is soft but it screams in Niall's mind over and over again. He was so stupid to think those words could actually be said to him. He hasn't have a lover in his entire life for a reason. He doesn't know how to live alongside people. He never got to love alongside other people. Because his life sucks and he fucked it up real bad that particular day. Niall turns his back towards the other bed. 

Vera and Marcel keep whispering for a little while and eventually Niall just falls asleep adjusting to the soft noises of a love he will never have. 

\+ 

The next morning everyone left again without Niall noticing. He should train himself to sleep lighter if he will ever live all by himself. It wouldn't come in handy. Niall stands up and walks towards Louis' without thinking about it. He is carrying a full breakfast for Louis when he steps inside without knocking. Louis is still asleep an if Niall didn't learn that it's very bad to sleep for such a long period of time without waking up he wouldn't wake up Louis. He looks so peaceful and cute that Niall has to squeeze his eyes closed as he rolls Louis around in his bed. Louis wakes up quicker than Niall expected. Louis smiles at the breakfast in Niall's hand and sits up. Before Niall places the breakfast on his lap Louis rubs the sleep out of his eyes. 

Louis licks his lips and motions for Niall to sit down on his bed as he enjoys the meal. Niall hasn't eaten anything himself. He doesn't feel like eating. He has a bad feeling about today for some reason. He looks out of the window as Louis eats his breakfast. Eventually he gets so caught up in watching the other students walk nearby that he stands up and walks over to the window. He places his hand on the cold glass before he slowly lowers it again. 

"You are very weird. You know that?" Louis says as he munches on some pancakes. Niall turns around and smiles widely. Louis keeps on eating as he looks at Niall. Niall sees Louis' eyes keep looking at Harry's bed, but he doesn't turn his head to see the bed clearly. Niall's smile disappears when he realizes that if Louis turns his head his appetite will fade. Niall walks towards the bed and Louis keeps eating faster now. Niall smiles sadly as Louis pushes the empty plate in Niall's hands. Louis grabs the glass next to Niall's phone that h put down before waking Louis. Louis drinks it in one breath. Niall takes the glass and excuses himself from the room. As he walks away he hears Louis breath hitches. Niall turns around slightly in the doorway and sees Louis looking at Harry's empty and -after Niall slept in it- dirty bed. Louis looks sad. 

Niall walks towards the kitchen and puts down Louis' dishes. He grabs a granola bar for himself since he started to get hungry. He turns back to the drawer and walks towards it with the granola bar and the wrapper around it in his mouth. He opens the drawer and doesn't see the bottle of pills right away. He rummages through the drawer but doesn't find the bottle. He does however find one of the pills laying in the back under more package of paracetamol and different painkillers. Niall holds it in front of the light by the window as he exclaims it. He rolls it in his fingers but the pill is still the same as Niall has ever seen it. 

Niall crushes the pill between his fingertips and pours it in the sink while the water is running. He swipes his hands and then dries them by rubbing his pants. He closes the facet and walks back towards Louis' bedroom. He hears a faint scream on the other side of the door so he fastens his pace. He opens the door and finds a raging Louis standing in the middle of the room with Niall's phone pressed against his cheek. As soon as Louis heard the door open he turned around to face Niall.

"I will kill you." Louis says in a stiff voice. He throws Niall's phone against one of the walls, making Niall flinch. Niall doesn't understand anything. From who Louis talked to to what they were saying. Louis' eyes are full of inched tears as he walks over to Niall's shivering body. Niall steps back until his back hits the door he slammed closed behind him. Louis comes closer and breathes in his face. Louis' face shows nothing but hatred. Niall gulps before Louis unleashes the beast.

"You son of a bitch!" Louis yells as he grab Niall by his collar pulls him close and throws him back against the wall. 

'"You are going to pay for this sick fuck!" Louis is screaming at the top of his lungs as he speaks words Niall can't register. Louis gets mad and just screams out loud. Niall has never been glad with people raising their voice so he raises his hands to close his ears but Louis slaps his face.

Louis slaps his face as if Niall is worthless. 

Louis slaps his face as if Niall is the root of all evil.

Louis slaps his face as if he is Niall's mother. 

Niall's back gets pushed into Louis' frame so the topple onto the ground. Niall barely registers where he is before he gets pushed again. Liam is holding him against the wall while Louis is sitting on the bed with Edwards hand on his shoulder. Niall doesn't understand a thing. Why is Louis so mad at him? He hasn't done anything! 

"He knows where Harry is! He helped him kidnap Harry!" Louis yells as he shakes with rage. Edward barely holds on to Louis and even Liam's grip loosens. Niall lets himself slide down against the wall as they all stand in silence taking Louis' words in. 

+

_Harry's head is turning from side to side in his sleep which wakes him up a few hours afterwards. The man has been gone for a long time now and Harry is starting to worry that he'll never get out of it alive. He wonders if Louis and the rest of his friends are still looking for him. He doesn't know exactly how long it has been since he disappeared. It must have been a few days since he has been gone. He can tell by the burning of his eyes and the weakness of his limbs. Maybe he can find a way out of this chair. He relaxes his hand and slowly scoots it from left to right. The duck tape gets looser and Harry can feel a small sparkle of hope in him. He keeps on going until his right hand is free. He looks around the full lighted room and doesn't detect his kidnapper. He rips the other hand loose and then his ankles. He hears someone curse from somewhere close as he stands up and run towards the closest window. He uses his elbow to slam it broken and the small pieces of glass hit the floor. Harry is careful to walk through it as he gets caught by his arm. He turns around and looks at the familiar face of his uncle._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo.... did you like it? :)


	12. Why Uncle?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Tigger Warnings: emotional abuse, graphic voilence and emotinal torture.**

Frank pulls Harry's arm slicing Harry's leg open. The blood flows on the ground and the flesh burns with agonising pain. His uncle pulls him over the floor back to the chair. Harry is sweating under the bright lights. His head is pumping and his eyes aren't focused. Frank's hiking shoes stomp around the room looking for something. Harry grabs his leg and desperately tries it to stop from bleeding. Harry throws his head back and screams in absolute terror. The hiking boots come back.

_"You are the worst. Get in your room, now!" The boots of his uncle walk up on the stairs following Harry's small body. Harry stumbles over the last steps. He tries to get up fast, but his uncle grabs him by his shirt and pulls him up. Harry tries to squirm out of his hold. His uncle growls as he places the five your old on the ground and pushes him further towards his room._

_Before they get there Harry sees the door of his brother's bedroom open. The small similar head pops out to see Harry being chased by their drunken uncle. Their father is out of town and called his brother to come and babysit them. From birth 'till five all the boys learned that their uncle is a person they should fear. Harry has tried his best to tiptoe around his uncles presence. He dropped his glass when his uncle bumped into him. He heard the growl before the slurs. Marcel hid behind the counter on the other side of the kitchen fearing he would get struck to._

_Harry runs to his corner and stands there as his uncle takes a seat on his small bed. The wood creaks under the heavy weight and Harry can feel the tears of shame dwelling in his eyes. His uncle has used this method of punishing for a long period of time and still Harry can't fight the steel arm of his uncle breaking him down piece by piece._

_"Repeat after me." His uncle slurs as he lays down on Harry's bed. Harry sniffles and shakes when he hears those horrifying words._

_"I am a worthless piece of shit." His uncle says as he drinks the last gulps of beer. Harry looks at his uncles shadow on the wall in front of him and opens his mouth._

_"I am a worthless piece of shit." Harry says his sobs drawing out the actual words._

_"Say it fifty times like I taught you to." His uncle says. Before Harry can react to the statement Frank calls for Edward. Edward slowly walks into the room and doesn't come closer than the bed frame._

_"Bring me another beer. No wait, make it three. We’ll be here for a while." Edward leaves and returns before his uncle tells Harry to start. His uncle grabs the beers and lays them down next to him. Edward makes a run for it but freezes when he hears his uncles booming voice._

_"Sit down!" He screams. Edward sits down immediately and faces Harry. "You are going to stay here until he finishes his first fifty lines. Then you may go._

_Harry tries to look over his shoulder for a reassuring look from his brother but his uncle is yelling at him to start speaking. With his head hung low and his tears dripping on the floor Harry opens his mouth to start the absolute worst part of his uncle babysitting them. He clears his throat and sobs loud one more time before starting._

_"Number one: I am a worthless piece of shit." His uncle laughs._  
" _Number two: I am a worthless piece of shit." His uncle drinks.  
"Number three: I am a worthless piece of shit." His uncle adjusts._

 _"Number thirty four: I am a worthless piece of shit." He is starting to believe it._  
"Number thirty five: I am a worthless piece of shit." He is agreeing.  
"Number thirty six: I am a worthless piece of shit." His brother mutters along.

Harry takes of his shirt and ties it around his wound. The bleeding is stopping slowly but Harry can already see the amount of blood that he lost is too much. His fingers feel numb as they tie the knot. His eyes are still unfocused, his head is still pounding and his uncle is still walking around with those hiking shoes.

"You know that it was fairly easy, getting you kidnapped." His uncle says as he turns around towards Harry's bleeding body. Harry is regretting helping that random man in the streets that day. He never predicted to be kidnapped by his own fucking uncle. An uncle who hates him since the day he was born.

"You should be more like your brothers. Marcel is so quiet and rational and Edward... Edward would fight back and never get into this situation you are now. You are way too naive, young boy." His uncle walks over to Harry and shows him a printed photo of Harry crying on the floor with Edward standing next to him, mouth open like he is saying something.

Harry remembers the day. He didn't know his uncle made a picture of them, he was crying too hard. It's too hard for Harry to keep looking at his own childhood.

 

_"I need to get out of town for tonight so I asked uncle Frank if he would babysit you." His father says as he stands up. Harry's body freezes as he hears those words. It has been a terrible week for them and Harry doesn't want to make it more depressing. Firstly, Marcel has a car accident that could limit his grow so he wouldn't grow as tall as his two brothers. Secondly, Edward got expelled from school because he beat up some kid at school that called him a worthless piece of shit. Harry would've done the same. Lastly, his uncle will come to babysit him and his brothers. His father grabs his shoulder bag and lays his hand down on Harry's shoulder._

_"Marcel! Edward! Come downstairs!" His father yells as they walk towards the hallway. His father grabs his jacket and puts it on. The two brothers walk down the stairs, Edward helping Marcel for stability. Marcel's leg is still broken._

_"Guys, be nice to your uncle and behave like you always do, okay?" His father crunched down at their level says. They all nod their heads and really do plan on behaving. Their father smiles and cuddles them one by one. Their father changed completely after the death of their mother. They both had their children very late in life. His mother was a best selling author married to a rock 'n roll artist. Their father stopped making music after their mom died. He instead used his degree in law and became a lawyer._

 

_+_

 

_It doesn't take long for one of the boys to do something out of place. Their uncle had been sipping beers for the past four hours and refused to make them any kind of dinner. They were hungry and decided to make themselves a little snack. They new how to make a boiled egg, but because Marcel stumbled against Harry because of his leg Harry dropped the the pan full of boiled water and eggs onto Edward sock covered feet._

_Edward yells out and starts taking of his socks in a hurry. Harry forget all about the whimpering Marcel on the floor and helps his older brother to sit down on the counter and place his feet under the cold running water. Harry then helps Marcel up from the floor and seats him into one of the chairs. Harry turns back to clean up the mess off the floor when their uncle walks in. It takes one look from him before he calls all three of them to the living room._

_They haven't been punished like this often, because they never really interacted with each other when their uncle was over in fear of displeasing him. They were so hungry and too busy with their natural basic needs to stop and realise what the outcome might have been. They walk towards the living room. Edward first, Harry in the middle and at last Marcel. Oldest to the youngest, with only twelve minutes apart, they stand in a row waiting for their uncle to start torturing them._

_"You liars! You are good for nothing. The only thing you lot are good for is ruining your fathers life and mine. Don't you see? He hates you. How did you even manage to do that as seven your olds?!" The boys look at each other before their uncle starts what Harry assumes is the worst punishment just yet. The only trustworthy part they had in their life inbetween rigged media outlets and their hurtful babysitter is their father._

_"Repeat after me boys." His uncle says as he mutes the TV behind the row of siblings. Harry knows this is going to be the hardest on him. His brother has been able to separate the thoughts their uncle created and the facts. And Marcel is high on painkillers so he wouldn't remember most of this day._

_"My father hates me. A hundred times." Their uncle says. Harry doesn't like this new method. He likes the old one better. The one specifically made to harm their own minds into thinking stuff about themselves instead of the family member they still trust and love._

_"Number one: My father hates me." They say it all three together to mask the sound of praying._  
"Number two: My father hates me." _Marcel's eyes fly around the room with no knowledge entering or leaving his mind._  
"Number three: My father hates me." _Harry tries to sink into the ground because the setting already makes it harder to think against the sentence.  
"Number four: My father hates me." Edward keeps thinking about happy memories he and his father made the past year._

 _"Number fifty five: My father hates me." Marcel was sent to his room because he started to fall asleep. Their uncle let him go peacefully but raised the lines to a hundred seventy five for Harry and Edward to finish._  
"Number fifty six: My father hates me." _Harry's incredibly hungry and the line doesn't help him be positive. He can feel himself starting to believe it. His mind is even associating the lines to memories of his father being cross with him.  
"Number fifty seven: My father hates me." Edward is still keeping his technique going and it hides the dullness in his chest or the emptiness in his stomach._

_"Number hundred thirteen: My father hates me." Marcel is fast asleep upstairs.  
"Number hundred fourteen: My father hates me." Harry snaps. He has been crying loudly for the past fifty lines and it's breaking him to the bone. It hurts so much to say it and he can't take it anymore. _

_"Please don't make me do this anymore!" He screams at his uncle. Franks eyes are twinkling with happiness as he sees the broken boy laying on the ground. He smirks._

_"You may stop, if you continue to sit there quietly as your brother says the last sixty one lines and a bonus of fifty more." Frank puts his empty bottle on the coffee table and grabs the tenth. Harry looks at Edward. Edward has a small conflict going on in his head and Harry really wants to help him do this, but he can't. There is a voice in his mind telling him it's true what he says and that he shouldn't be happy living here._

_Edward clears his throat, stands up straight and finishes the now two hundred twenty five lines._

_Like it's nothing._

"You know, I never took you as the kind of guy to have large enough balls to try and escape. Really surprised me there." Frank says as he walks towards Harry. Harry turns around so his back is facing his uncle. He has no intention to look at the mans face and get another horrendous flash back. He doesn't understand. His uncle should still be in jail for fraud instead of kidnapping his own damn nephew.

"Why aren't you stuck in jail?!" Harry screams as he turns back to his uncle. His leg doesn't hurt as much anymore and he can feel himself getting a bit senseless. The floor is less cold, the light is less bright and even the harsh footsteps of his uncle aren't booming anymore. His uncle crunches down to his level and looks Harry directly in the eyes. Franks eyes are burning with hate for his own nephew and Harry can feel the terror taking over his complete body.

"You threw me in jail. You worthless piece of shit!"

_"Dad! Dad! Look what I found." Harry says as he runs his nine year old body into his father's lap. His father smiles down at him and picks him up to seat Harry in his lap. Harry shows his father the book he found in the closet of his uncles room where he stays as he babysits. His father takes the book and looks it over. Something on his face cramps as he looks at a view pages. Harry doesn't understand what it says completely even though he can read. There are words he has never seen before. Words that give his father a to go sign._

_"Son I need to make a phone call right now. Hop off, please." Harry jumps off his fathers lap and makes his way to the kitchen where his brothers are playing with their new automatic cars. Harry stays close to the door so he could hear his father talking on the phone. His father is calling Frank and Harry wonders if his uncle will have to babysit them again soon. It's been a while since his last visit and Harry was happy with that._

_"Can you please come over as soon as possible. I need you to watch Marcel and Harry and take Edward to the hospital." Harry scrunches up his face and looks at his perfectly fine brother. He doesn't understand why Frank needs to be here when his father doesn't have to go. Maybe his father is lying. Harry looks back and sees that his father is hanging up the phone. He is scanning the book Harry brought him and grabs the phone again._

_"I need you to come over here within fifteen minutes. I have evidence of his fraud. He is going to be here then. I hope you will arrest him with dignity. I'll try and keep my kids upstairs." His father nods a few times and then says goodbye. He tries to go back into and pretend nothing happened but his father saw him. His father cocks his head to the side and signs him over._

_Harry walks over slowly to calculate if he has done anything that could make his father mad at him. He stops at the end of the coffee table and stops. His father comes closer and squats down. He hugs Harry close. "Can you keep Edward and Marcel upstairs for me until your uncle has been arrested?" Harry nods his head and looks up with big eyes and a small pout._

_"Will he be locked up for a long time?"_

_"What is the biggest number you know?" His father asks. Harry takes a while to think about it and even thinks he should count. Eventually he just says a large number._

_"One billion million years!" Harry says. He knows it might not be a real number, but he wishes for his own sake that his uncle will go to prison for a long time._

_"About right, little man." With a peck on his forehead Harry races to the kitchen to retrieve his brothers and go upstairs. When they arrive upstairs he tells his brothers about what is going to be happening downstairs. Just like him his brothers are relieved and somewhat happy with the news._

_They listen carefully to what's going on downstairs. They hear some screaming and door slamming before they run over to the window and see their uncle being led to a police car with handcuffs on. It's an incredible sight because now they are rescued from the evil men that hurt them worse than any hit they've every gotten._

"I played that fraud because I read your father's will. He wants to give you and your brothers everything! I should get something! I should've gotten something from my parents! Not your poor excuse of a father!" Harry can feel himself losing consciousness. His uncle is screaming so loud he doesn't hear the door slam open and the SWAT team entering.

Harry smiles as they take down his uncle. He smiles when his own father crunches down next to his head and slowly strokes his hand through Harry's hair. It's done. No more hurt, no more resistance, no more hunger, no more dirt and no more fear. His uncle is going to be locked up again, for good. And Harry gets to return to what he calls home. The campus where everything runs smoothly and everyone is getting along happily. Harry can't wait.  
So he closes his eyes.

 

+

 

The silence in the room is obnoxiously loud. Everyone is confused as to what Louis is trying to say. Niall's head is spinning with question about Louis and that fucking phone. Louis is shaking with anger. His eyes are focused, his mouth is stiff and his fists are bawled up. Edward still has his hand placed on Louis' shoulder. He is slowly loosen his grip though as an invitation for Louis to start the fight. Edward looks hurt mostly, he is looking everywhere but Niall.

"How could you?" Edward says as he looks at Niall with hurt in his eyes. Edward seems to be breaking down in front of Niall's face and it's hurting him. Niall knows nothing about that fucking phone call. He doesn't know who talked to Louis, but that person is ruining his life. Edward rubs his hand over Louis' shoulder in sorry.

"I swear. I have know idea what you are talking about!" Niall screams as Louis stands up. It's dangerous now. Louis is ready to attack and even though Niall can take a lot of blows before giving up he already lost the fight. Louis walks over towards Niall with a slow pace. Liam walks away from Niall to invite Louis to do whatever he wants without being stopped.

"Edward!" Marcel screams from the other side of the hallway. He runs into the room to his older brother, a grin on his face. Before saying anything he jumps into Edwards arms and smiles.

"They found him. We need to get to the police station!" Marcel says pulling Edward out of the room. Edward stops walking in the doorframe and looks at Louis. Louis seems to be relieved. A dopey smile on his face and the peace is finally settling in. He turns to Liam. Liam is packing up Harry's clothes so Harry can change as soon as possible. He stops in his tracks when he notices Louis' stare. Liam looks at Niall.

"Why don't you tell us exactly what you heard?" Edward says as he closes up on the distance between him and Louis. Edward looks at Niall who is still sitting on the ground showing his mercy. He smiles slightly and Niall's eyes tear up. Edward believes him. Edward will protect him. To Niall's luck Marcel walks into the room to. Marcel surely would believe him. Marcel has always been Niall's favourite.

"What's going on?" Marcel asks as he takes in the people. Louis is still mad at Niall, Edward is looking at Niall and Liam is looking confused over all.

"Louis picked up my phone and says it's the person that kidnapped Harry. Louis says I helped the man kidnap Harry." Niall says unsure when he stands up. Marcel looks at the other guys and wait for them to confirm Niall's statement before turning to Louis.

"I highly doubt that. The police are going after Frank. They suspect Harry is with him." Marcel says looking at Louis. Edward seems shocked by the news. He walks over to Marcel and hugs him close not daring to let any oxygen come between them. Niall doesn't know what's going on.  
"I don't know why you guys are hugging because a Frank called Niall." Louis says e over to the thrown phone. Marcel and Edward share a look before looking at Louis. Louis is investigating Niall's phone. Niall doesn't know what he is looking for, but if it's something about Harry's kidnapping he isn't going to find it. Louis doesn't seem to find anything because he throws the phone away yet again.

"Niall, do you know a Frank?" Niall does know a Frank, but the Frank he knows is dead.

"No." Niall says. Louis is putting on his shoes and everyone takes that as a cue to start making themselves ready too. Edward, Liam and Marcel already walk out of the room to put on their coats. Niall picks his phone up from the ground where Louis threw it. He walks towards the door behind Louis. Louis turns around in the door opening and stops Niall with a hand on Niall's chest.

"If you turn out to be innocent, please know that I am sorry for accusing you of something so terrible. I am just really on the edge and that phone call didn't help." Louis says. Louis looks very serious and it makes Niall smile. Louis really is a good person and Niall should never question if what Louis does is purely out of anger. Louis has a big heart and a face of steel.

"I totally understand. It's fine." Niall smiles. Louis smiles back at him and turns around to walk out of the apartment, into the lift, down to the police station.

 

+

 

When they get to the police station there are a lot of paparazzi and fans outside. People really have been busy looking for Harry. Because of their restaurant chain and famous parents they are very well known around whole England. There are people who have been so into finding Harry that they gave up their average daily life. They step outside the car and policemen help them get to the station. Inside they are pointed into the direction of Harry's being.

They have a weird atmosphere hanging around them. Happiness, sadness, anger and discomfort are all a part of that bubble. They walk through the cold cubic hallways to get to the room Harry is in. When they walk past a door with a window in it Edward stops in his tracks and looks at what's inside. Marcel notices his brother staring and looks inside too. They both freeze.

Niall wonders if Harry is in that room and he might look worse than he ever has before. Louis pushes them to the side and looks into the room. He scrunches his nose and looks back over his shoulder at Edward and Marcel.

"A random man, seriously?" He asks. Marcel shakes his head and Niall takes a place by the window.

"That's Frank." Just when Marcel explains why they stopped walking Niall looks through the window. On the other side there is a man cuffed to the table in front of him dressed in an orange jail uniform. Niall recognises the man. His beard has grown a bit and his eyes have sunken further into his skull but he looks the same he did ten years ago before he died.

"You have to be shitting me." Niall says as he lays his hand down on the doorknob before turning. The door doesn't open, but Niall is now in a state of panic. He needs to get into that room and see for real if that person is who Niall thinks he is.

"Niall, what are you doing?" Niall turns around in terror at the voice and looks at Louis' face. Niall starts welling up and Louis seems shocked by this reaction.

"You know that man. How?" Edward says as he looks at Niall. Niall looks back to his shoulder and looks at the man in there who is looking straight at him. Niall gulps.

"That's my supposedly dead father."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mindfuck.


	13. Truthful Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Nothing major, some smut on the end. You can skip it.
> 
> I deleted the old chapter and re-uploaded this one. It'll start from the ending of the other one to make it followable.

"That's my supposedly dead father." The words come out crazy and Niall would most likely never hear himself utter those words. It doesn't make any sense. Niall's knowledge about his father's life is limited. Before the accident his father was gone most of the time talking about his brother and his sons. Niall doesn't know what he did for a living, Niall doesn't even know if he has a middle name. Shaking his head Niall takes a few steps back. When he looks up he sees those blue cold eyes staring at him. A shiver runs through Niall before he collapses. 

"Niall!" Marcel says as Niall's head hits the floor. The floor is cold and dusty but Niall doesn't care. He attended his father's funeral ten years ago. What is he doing here? How come he is still alive? The questions run though Niall's head and the concerned people surrounding him fade into the background. At one point his whole sight becomes glossy. 

"Sir, is there someone we can call to help you?" An officer says as Niall gets seated in a chair. Niall looks around and notices that none of the guys are standing there. He is alone. Niall shakes his head. Tears well up and Niall has a strong urge to cry until he is so hydrated all of this starts making sense. The officer talks to another officer and Niall follows the two officers with his eyes. They stand by a computer looking something up. After a while Niall sees that the first officer is holding his wallet. 

Niall stands up abruptly and walks over to the officers. 

"No please. I'm begging you, don't!" Niall says. It's too late. The officer is holding a phone to his ear ans Niall can feel himself being swallowed by the floor. It takes forever before the officer hangs up. It's crowded in the police station and Niall can't hear a thing. He tries to concentrate on the officers voices, but he hears nothing.

"Niall, what the hell are you doing?!" Louis snaps. Niall turns around and looks at Louis. Louis is beyond pissed and Niall kind of understands why. Leave it up to him to make a giant scene out of nothing. 

"They called my mother." Niall says. The truth hurts more when it's spoken out loud. Niall looks up to the ceiling and bites his cheeks in hopes he wouldn't cry. When he looks back at Louis, Louis seems a hit less angry. 

"Why is that such a problem? You make a scene in a police station and get butt hurt over them calling your mother?" Apparently Louis' slightly less angry face means he is more pissed than before. Niall tries to gulp down his anxiety but it isn't working. He must tell Louis what is happening. 

"My mother doesn't like me." Niall is as vague as can be.

"Doesn't like you? Niall at this rate no one is going to like you. I only came up here because Harry asked me to, now stop playing games. This is serious." Louis says spot on. Niall tries to laugh but it's impossible. He knows he isn't dealing with this well, but he has enough of all the bullshit coming into his life and try to destroy everything he has built up. 

"Go back to Harry. Tell him hello from me. I'll see you guys back home." Niall says. Louis looks surprised and then pleased. He nods stiffly and shuffles away to the direction he most likely came from. Niall turns around to the waiting officers and speaks.

"I would like to know what happened with my father." Niall says.

"Why?" The female officer asks.

"He is supposed to be death but I saw him a few minutes ago here in the station."   
+

The interrogation room is cold. Niall can see himself sitting at the large wooden table in the mirror in front of him. The officers brought him here and are now of the decide how to handle a crazy teenager. Niall knows they are doing it just so that they have a story to tell for when they come home tonight. Niall knows he sounds crazy, but he isn't.

The door opens and both the officers walk in this time one is holding a laptop and the other is holding files. Niall smiles, files must be a good sign. They sir down in front of him, their faces dead serious. Niall hides his smile by placing his hand on his mouth. 

"Tell me about just now when you say you saw your father." The female officer says. The laptop is running and she is ready to type. Niall clears his throat, makes up his mind and starts talking.

"I am here to collect Harry Styles, he is a good friend of mine." Niall says. The officer nods and looks to the other one.

"That kid came in today. He was kidnapped by his own uncle, can you believe it." She says. Niall's eyes are open wide looking at the woman in front of him. 

"That's impossible. We walk passed the room my father was in. First Edward and Marcel stopped to see who is in there and they knew him. He is my father, Frank Horan." Niall says. Nothing makes sense anymore and Niall can feel the headache rising. 

"How would you explain the fact that Edward and Marcel Styles are able to recognise your dead father?" The male officer asks. Niall shakes his head and bangs it down onto the table. 

"I don't know. I really don't, but I can promise you that is my father. When I was a kid I didn't see him much, he was always working or with his nephews. About ten years ago my mother told my he and my brother got killed in a car accident. I was heartbroken, when I went to the funeral of them both I wasn't able to look in the caskets because my mom said I wouldn't recognise them." That's all Niall has on information about his father. He wishes he could just do a DNA test already and have it cleared. 

"It's really hard to believe this, you know that." The officer says as she shuts the laptop. Niall nods his head. She urges her colleague to stand up and walk with her. They leave and Niall is left alone. 

His mind wonders off to Harry. He hopes Harry is doing well. He wonders if all the guys are happy again now there beloved friend us back. Niall wishes he could be there, but he needs to get his head clear so he is able to stay in Harry's life for a very long time. Niall can't wait to see the empty seat filled with Harry's presence. It has been so dull for so long and it slowly killed all of them. All of school, all of London, all of Britain. 

When the officers come back inside they are carrying an expensive looking suitcase. Niall eyes it cautiously. They place it on the table, but neither take a seat. 

"We called your mom again, but she wasn't willing to come down here so we could explain about your father. We talked to the officers on Frank's case and found out that he escaped out of prison. Funny thing is when I mentioned you said he was gone for ten hears it turned out that's the hear he was arrested. I filed for an DNA test." The officer says as he pets the case. It opens and Niall can see a lot a tubes and needles and plastic bags. It looks like a crime scene bag. 

"Just give me your finger. We will call you with the results when it's back from the lab. If he turns out to be your father you are going to have a few conversations down here at the office." Niall nods and sticks out his hand for them to take.

+

It's late when Niall finally walks across campus. Tomorrow he'll be able to sleep in before he has or get to work. The campus is dark and cold, sometimes a few people walk by. Niall enters the building and takes the elevator in a hurry. He wants to see Harry. He wants to hug him close to his chest and kiss his forehead. Niall hopes Harry looks okay. He understands Harry won't look the same like he did before he was kidnapped, but hopefully he wouldn't look to much like Niall after some bad days with his mom. 

The elevator door dings open and Niall walks into the familiar hallway. The lights are still on everywhere which means most of the people must be awake. Niall walks towards the sound of people talking. The sound is coming from the TV room close by the kitchen. It's like a giant living room, but without the furniture. It's hard to describe. Maybe a cool garage hangout room. Niall isn't sure. 

He opens the door and sees everyone sitting around on the cushions on the floor. Louis is sitting right next to Harry, almost on his lap. Edward and Marcel sit on one side of Harry and Liam on the side of Louis. The three girls make up the rest of the circle. Zayn is gone. Niall heard something about a meeting of his father. Niall shuts the door behind him and everyone's eyes are on him. Niall is only looking at Harry.

Harry looks terrible. He has a giant bruise on the left side of his head and Niall can see the bandage stopping his head from bleeding. There are bags under his eyes screaming for Harry to just sleep already. His lips are chapped and bitten, his eyes are watery and red. Niall wants to coo and how soft and breakable he looks. It's nothing like he has seen before. There is a smile on his face that lights up the whole room and Niall is glad about that. He will take a smiling Harry over a crying Harry any day.

"Are you okay?" Niall asks. Harry nods his head and tries to stand up. Louis keeps pulling his shirt and tells him to just sit and relax. Niall walks over and pushes Harry to the floor.

"It's okay, sit down." Niall hushes. Harry sits down and looks up and Niall. Niall hugs him close. Harry hugs back. For ages they sit there hugging, trying to ease some happiness to each other. Eventually Louis clears his throat and Niall lets go. 

"I am glad to see you." Niall says. Harry smiles at him and thanks him. Niall takes place next to Vera. 

"Are you okay?" Marcel asks Niall. Niall looks at Marcel and then down to himself. Vera is in between them making it hard to see each other. Niall nods and gives him a questioning look.

"You look you walked here. Your shoes are dying." Niall looks down and smiles at his shoes. They remain even better than his old ones after walking for such a long time. Louis is a great shoe giving person.

"I did walk here yeah. And my shoes aren't dying, I am." Niall laughs. The rest of them laugh a bit uncomfortable so Niall makes it short and tucks his shoes under him. When he looks up everyone is talking to the person besides them. Expect for Louis. Louis is looking right at Niall. 

"Your mother didn't show up." Louis says out of no where looking at Niall, only Niall. Niall looks away and notices that all of them are looking at him. He blushes and rubs his hand over his neck and shoulder. 

"Louis, don't." Harry begs. Niall understands Harry would like a quiet evening in, but unfortunately that doesn't seem to silence Louis. Niall clears his throat. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

"No she didn't." Niall says. 

"Why not? I can't think of a single reason a mother wouldn't come to her son when he is having a public meltdown in a police station because he thinks his father is still alive." Louis says a small smile playing at his lips. 

"Neither can I." Niall smiles back.

"Why wasn't she there." Louis shots.

"She doesn't like me." Niall says without blinking. It takes Louis a little by surprise. 

"Why not?" Louis asks. Niall shrugs his shoulders and looks down. He has said more than enough for today. He hopes Louis would just forget about it and stop asking him about it, but that's most likely not happening any time soon.

"Follow me." Louis says as he stands up. Harry looks up to him and shakes his head, but Louis just presses a little kiss on his forehead before he storms off. Everyone looks at Niall, watches him stand up and take off after Louis. Louis walks towards a room Niall hasn't seen before. It's like an office room. There is one big table with chairs around it. A few big plants in the corner and a giant window on one side. Louis walks over to the window. There is a view Niall hasn't seen before. It's difficult to see what it is, but it isn't the campus so Niall is sure it's the park nearby. He should come here once when it's light outside. 

"Sit down." Louis says. He turns to Niall. He turns back to the window and looks at nothing. It's silent. There are a million things Niall would rather do than sit here and with the clock tick away the seconds. Louis looks mighty and strong standing in front of the mirror like that. Niall has a strange argue to just talk so he can get it over with. Half an hour and Niall can't take it anymore.

"I have a story." Niall says. Louis turns around. 

"We all do." Louis responses. Niall wants to grab him by his collar and shout in his face about how his story is different than the normal ones, but he doesn't. He just nods knowing Louis doesn't want to hear it. 

He leaves. 

As he reaches for the door Louis places a hand on his shoulder. Niall turns the knob but the door doesn't open. Niall is tugging and pushing trying to get it open but nothing works. Louis pulls him away from the door and lets him sit down in a random chair.

"The door is locked." Niall says matter of factly. Louis hums and sit down a few chairs away. Even though they are the same height Niall feels ten times as small. Louis is looking at him with hard eyes and high status. 

"Why doesn't your mother like you?" He asks, tone clear. Niall looks away and sees that it's almost midnight. He wants to sleep, he is incredibly tired. Especially because he walked home from the police station, that's about two and a half hour. 

"She takes medicine that makes her annoyed." Niall likes to keep things vague. He doesn't want Louis to know every secret he has. He rather talks about geography for hours straight then say a few words about this. He hates geography. 

"Why does she take medicine?" 

"Depression." Niall says. With every layer pealed of off him he doesn't feel very safe anymore. He wants to stop this and forget all about it. It's impossible to stop, when Louis starts, it doesn't end until Louis thinks it does. 

"Because if your father's death?" Niall nods and clears his throat. He hides his face in his hands and tries not to let too much emotion show. 

"And my brother's." Niall finishes. Louis seems shocked by the news but Niall doesn't really care about that. Every bit of emotion he has pushed away is coming to get him and Niall feels himself getting and emotional breakdown. 

"Why doesn't she like you?" Louis asks again. Niall can't hold it anymore and starts crying. His body is shaking heavily and there is no turning back now. He is an earthquake sending his tears to the land of happiness, drowning it completely. Niall hates this. He hates crying, hates feeling this way, hates having no one who can hold him and tell him that everything is going to be alright.

"She.. She thinks I killed them." He tries to breath but there isn't any oxygen in his lungs. His eyes are bloodshot, his hands are shaking. He is a blubbering mess not knowing what to do.

"Did you?" Louis asks. Niall looks up to him and sees Louis break inside. Niall shakes his head.

"No fuck no." He says as he hiccups. He starts to breath again, but then gets flashes of the news breaking him all over again. Louis stands up and Niall curls in on himself more. 

"I'll keep this under us. I am sorry for your loss." Louis says as he turns around and leaves the office. Niall shakes and falls down onto the floor. It's cold but Niall loves it. He curls in on himself and slowly rocks side to side. The movement makes it a little warmer down there. Why did Louis had to break him like this? Why couldn't he just accept that Niall didn't want to talk about it? 

Niall lays down onto the floor for a good part of the night before he wipes his eyes and stands up. He has a major headache and he is sure he looks like shit, he does feel a bit off weight leaving his shoulders. Maybe crying for hours helped his brain to reset to neutral instead of constantly being influenced by different emotions. 

Niall stands up and exits the office to go to the kitchen and get something to drink. After two glasses of water he decides that it's time to head to bed. The rest of his roommates are already sleeping so Niall claps his hand twice in every room to turn of the lights. He enters his bedroom and heads straight for the bathroom. He brushes his teeth, goes to the toilet, undresses and tries to make the redness in his face go away. 

He turns off the bathroom light with the switch and stands in the doorway. Marcel is asleep from what Niall can tell. He walks past his bed and looks down upon his resting profile. When Niall is close to seeing Marcel's face he sees Marcel blinking.

"Did I wake you?" Niall says, his voice hoarse from crying. Marcel shakes his head and waves at him to come closer. Niall sits down next to him and watches Marcel turns on the light on the night stand. The light is soft and brings out Marcel's best features. Niall sniffles and rubs at his eyes. Marcel coos and brings his palm to Niall's face to wipe off the tears. Niall cries silently.

"Come. Lay down." Marcel says as he shuffles over to the wall. Niall lays down next to Marcel and cuddles closer. It feels really nice to lay next to Marcel. His skin is soft and warm and Niall can feel himself entering cloud nine. Marcel urges him to turn around so he can spoon him. Niall closes his eyes and sighs. 

Eventually Niall turns back to Marcel and looks him straight in the eyes. Marcel smiles softly and inches his face closer to Niall's. Before Niall can register what is happening Marcel kisses him.   
Marcel's lips are soft and warm and Niall squirms with the feeling of _Marcel_ so close to him. It's hot and everything Niall has ever wanted. He grabs Marcel's head and presses him closer. Marcel moves so he is on top of Niall and Niall is so glad the only thing he is wearing is his boxers. Out of breath Niall turns his head slightly away from Marcel and takes a deep breath. Every muscle in his body is screaming at him to do something. Marcel attacks his neck, licking, sucking and biting. Niall moans quietly.

Marcel sucks a love bite just under Niall's ear. Slowly Niall traces Marcel's six pack. He rubs his hands all over Marcel's upper body and starts kissing Marcel. It's hot feeling Marcel's muscles jump under his fingertips. They kiss until Marcel thinks it's a good idea to turn them around. 

Niall is above and laying all over Marcel's body. Niall is only wearing his boxers that only seem to get tighter and tighter. Marcel slowly drops his hands on Niall's back and scratches Niall's back as Niall starts humping Marcel's leg. Eventually Marcel squeezes Niall's butt. Niall groans and moves to the right so he can feel Marcel's erection rubbing against his own. They rock together, occasionally kissing, licking and biting each other while touching all over. 

"I want to suck you." Niall purrs against Marcel's mouth. Marcel groans and looks directly into Niall's eyes as Niall slowly inches down to in between Marcel's legs. Niall grabs the rim of his sweatpants and boxers before pulling it down. Marcel's cock slaps against his stomach as Niall removes the pants completely. 

Niall has never been in between a boy's legs before, but Niall must confess that's it's the best place he has ever been. The view is amazing, the smell is musky and manly and Niall is dying to get his mouth on Marcel. He grabs Marcel's dick first and starts rubbing it slowly. He hears Marcel hiss so he decides that some spit will do the trick. He removes his hand and slowly inches his mouth closer until he kisses the tip. He licks around the head and sucks it in. 

Marcel is shaking a little, his thighs look amazing like this and Niall wants everything at once. He wants to nibble those thighs, suck his dick and grab his butt. Niall slowly inches down and the feeling is something he didn't expect. Marcel fills his mouth completely and Niall loves the weight on his tongue. He hums and starts bobbing his head up and down. Marcel groans from above and Niall has a sparkle of proudness running through his veins. 

Niall keeps bobbing up and down 'till Marcel's hand rest on his head. Niall looks up through his eyelashes and sees Marcel watching him. Niall sinks down while looking at Marcel and stays down. It seems to do the trick and Marcel climbs over the edge to let go. Niall swallows. 

It's kind of disgusting but Niall doesn't really care that much. It's nice enough of Marcel to enjoy it as much as he did. Niall's never done this before and he is happy that it turned out this well. Marcel pulls him up and kisses him deeply. Niall lays back on top of Marcel and keeps kissing me. Marcel turns them around.

Marcel is fast to go down on Niall and return the favour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you like this version better than the other, if you read it. And if you thought the smut was you know fitting? :)
> 
> Happy New Year to all of you, and I would like to take a moment to give my condolences to the Tomlison family. Jay was a great person, still is. I will keep her in this story, may she ever come up again. 
> 
> All The Love


	14. The Letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: realising stuff, talking about death

As soon as Louis is gone the next morning Niall creeps out of Marcel's bed. He slept after they got intimate and Marcel is still asleep. Niall is thankful for Louis busy schedule on days like this. Niall puts on some clothes and walks towards the elevator. The elevator reaches the ground level and Niall watches it go up again. Floor six. The elevator goes down. Niall is scared.

Niall turns around and walks over to Louis bedroom. There must be a reason Louis is doing this to him. He doesn't know what it is, but he is finding it. Harry should be still asleep, he is still recovering from the kidnapping and sleeps until late. Niall opens the door softly and sees a sleeping Harry with a post-it plastered on his forehead. Niall snorts and walks over towards Harry's face. There is some bad handwriting in red.

'Make sure you're hydrated and please know I did it to make sure you and your brothers are okay. Love, Louis'

Niall is confused about what Louis could have possibly done for Harry and his brothers. It seems like Harry didn't agree on it and that's why Louis left a note instead of waking him. Niall shakes his head and moves to the other side of the room. He walks towards Louis' bed and looks under it. There are a few boxes here and there and Niall grabs and opens them one for one. There are strips, toys, photo books and old school works. There is only one box left and Niall is sure he won't find anything. He opens the box and sees something he never would've expected. The box is full of sex toys and Niall just closes the lid and slips it back because what the fuck. 

Niall stands up and decides that his next target would be Louis' desk. He opens the top drawers and sees nothing except old post-its pens and notebooks. He moves to the middle drawers and finds papers, contracts and school stuff. Niall groans he needs to find something. The last drawers seem innocent but before he closes the first one he sees something in the corner. He grabs it and Niall can't even touch it anymore. He lets it drop and just watches it from far. It's the bottle with pills that disappeared from the kitchen a few weeks ago. Niall doesn't know what to do with the information so he closes the drawer and hopes for the best. The last drawer has envelopes in it with letters from fans, managers and brands Louis has modelled for. Niall sorts through them pretty quickly and sees nothing special until he sees a white envelope with his name on it. He grabs it and opens it, but before he can take the letter out he hears Harry waking up. He closes the drawer and puts the letter in his pocket. 

"Niall?" Harry asks, voice lower than normal. Harry reaches up and takes the post-it off his face. He reads it fast and then crumples it in his hand. He throws it away.

"Morning Harry. How are you?" Harry smiles and winks for Niall to get over to Harry's laying body. Niall smiles back.

"I am okay. What are you doing here?" Harry asks as he pulls Niall next to him. Niall lays down and reminds himself of what he did last night and how terrible that must be for Vera and the rest of their friends. He and Marcel shouldn't have had sex. They should've stopped when still possible. 

"I just came here to check on you. I haven't seen you much after... you know." Niall says. He doesn't want to say the word because he is scared he might put Harry in a sad mood.  
"That's very kind of you. Are you okay?" The question isn't something Niall predicted would been said. He doesn't know if he should tell Harry the truth, but maybe he should start talking about the facts they're cousins.

"Just a little bit shaken really. I got a phone call the other day from the police station. I am allowed to come by and ask my father anything, but I am not sure if I can handle that." Niall says in a heartbeat. Niall turns to Harry and sees the frown on his face. 

"Maybe I can come with you?" Harry asks. Niall shakes his head.

"Are you nuts? Of course you can't come with me." Niall says as he sits up straight. Harry is slow to follow him in this position.

"Why not?" Harry has put in his soft and begging voice that Niall only heard back when Louis was questioning Niall in front of all their friends.

"First of all, you are still not fully recovered let alone mentally stable enough to meet the person that did this to you." Harry shakes his head in thought.

"Second of all, Louis, Edward and Marcel will kill you for doing it." Niall says softer this time. He feels kind of bad for Harry. Ever since he came back he has been under 24/7 supervision. Everyone has helped him get his stuff, do his homework, get in and out bed and even dress himself. Harry must feel like a little child.

"Maybe we can go later. I don't even know if I want to anyway." Niall changes his no into a maybe and Harry's face lights up. Niall smiles back and faces Harry completely. Harry's smile falls from his face and looks at Niall with a more serious look.

"Are you really okay?" Harry asks. Niall knows Harry is trying to ask him if he is okay after all that Louis has done to him the other night. Niall still doesn't understand why Louis did it, but Niall is sure it was to protect someone Louis loves.

"Kind of. He just had me realise a lot of stuff I was too scared to face before. It was hard though, kind of rude." Niall says in all honesty. Harry gulps loudly and his eyes water. Niall feels terrible for saying the truth, but Niall knows he has the right to feel screwed over after Louis had him broken down last night. Niall just wants to let Harry know that it's not his fault.

"Harry calm down. It's not your fault he is so hard on me. He is just being careful, I'm practically still a stranger anyway." Niall says as he reaches out to squeeze Harry's hand. Harry sniffles ans shakes his head to answer Niall's comment. He looks at Niall through his obvious tears and clears his throat. 

"Don't you dare defend his actions. He was rude to you and didn't care if he stepped over everyones boundaries. He did it because of me. I told him about my uncle the other night and that made him furious." Harry says. He comes closer and hugs Niall close. 

"I don't understand." Niall says. He wishes he knew more about his dad. 

"Well, your dad, my uncle, was a terrible man. He treated us downright abusively and didn't care for our feelings or health. He did the most horrible things to us to mentally and physically disable us. I told it Louis the other day and he kind of blames you for the whole thing. Don't ask me why, I was mad at him for it of course but he just said it was to protect me and my brothers." Harry says as he let go of Niall. Niall feels like he has been grabbed by the throat and slammed against the wall. He stands up from the bed and grabs the letter that he found. He looks at it and then opens the envelope forcefully. 

"What's that?" Harry asks, standing next to Niall.

"It's a letter directed to me. I found it in a drawer of his desk." Niall drops the envelope and opens the lined paper. He reads it out loud.

_'Dear Niall,_

_Thank you for your letter. I must say I was very surprised when I saw it laying in my mailbox. I tried to call you the other day but you never answered the phone. Maybe you are still mad? You didn't seem mad when you wrote me. And to answer your question, yes I did get the phone call about your dad. I knew he wasn't dead, but I do know you are still to blame for his absence.'_

"Niall please stop reading." Harry begs him. Niall is shaking from head to toe and sobs loudly. Harry cuddles him close.

_'You made him leave Niall. You killed your brother and that's why he left. He never loved you. I did before the accident, really, but because of you I have lost the two loves of my life. That's why I blame you, that's why I have always blamed you. It's good to hear you blame yourself too.'_

"Niall stop, now." Harry demands. Niall shakes his head and steadies his hands to read further but Harry tries to take the letter from him. Niall jumps away and holds a threatening hand out to Harry. 

"I am almost done. Stop." Niall says, voice low and stern. Harry nods and looks down.

_'As for your request I do think it would be the best if I came. I thought about it hard and long because I wasn't sure if I wanted to face your hateful eyes. It's like your always raging. Maybe you should go to anger management classes? Oh, I have downed my dose of pills when you wrote me. It makes my skin look better, but I am sure to dose it back after I have been on that student-parent weekend with you. You add to my pain you see._

_Anyway, I will see you this weekend._

_Bye,  
Clare' _

Niall closes the letter and stands still for a second. Louis wrote his mom, his mom is coming over this weekend. His mom is coming over this weekend! Niall shakes as he grabs the letter with both hands. He stops for two seconds, looks at the letter and rips it apart. He tears it down until it's in a hundred pieces. Niall lets it bleed from his fingers.

"Who is Clare?" Harry asks. Niall looks at his with raised eyebrows. 

"My mom." Niall utters. He truly hates his mom, everything she did to him is enough to leave scars for a lifetime. Niall sways his body from left to right and lets the tears stream down his face.

"Did you really kill your brother?" Harry asks next. Niall stands still and looks Harry right in the eye. He isn't sure if he is mad at Harry for asking that. He probably would've done the same. He decides to not care for now, since this fucking letter is more than enough to worry about.

"No, of course not." Niall scoffs as he walks around the room. He wants to kill Louis for writing his mother. What did he even fucking write? Niall walks over to Louis' desk and starts throwing useless paper onto the ground. He opens the drawers searching for that letter. That one special letter that has ruined Niall's life before Niall even knew about it. Eventually Louis' entire corner looks like dump and Niall is proud of himself.

"I am going to kill him! My mom can't fucking come!" Niall screams on the top of his lungs. Harry tries to hush him, but its no use. Niall is using his whole body to scream out.

"I fucking hate her! She did everything wrong! Aaaaagh!" Niall screams as he pushes the drawer against the wall to create a crack. He stands still, silently.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Edward runs through the door, Liam in tow. Niall turns to them and looks at them both. He grins, they look weak.

"Help, he is freaking out." Harry tells them as he walks over to them. Niall sobs out loud and throws himself onto Louis' bed. He grabs the knife he found in Louis' nightstand and starts to stab everything around him. He makes giant cuts in the mattress and turns all the pillows inside out. He starts on the sheets when Edwards lays his hand on Niall's shoulder. Niall turns around and looks at the determined face of Edward freaking Styles. 

Edward hols out his other hands and Niall gives the knife to him carefully. When Edward has the knife he gives it to Liam who brings it to the other side of the room.

"This can't be happening." Niall says bewildered. He feels like a piece of shit for causing all these problems. He should be living with Javier and do drugs, but instead he is sitting on a broken bed, with a broken heart and a broken life.

+

"So you believe Louis wrote your mom a letter to ask her to come over here for the student-parent weekend under your name?" Liam asks for the third time. 

They are in a room Niall has never seen before. It's a giant square room with one giant window and three wooden walls. It looks like some kind of old western movie set and Niall loves it. There are mattresses, multiple coloured beanbags, an 'open' bar with food and drinks and there is a giant TV plastered to the wall connected to a WII, Playstation 5 and a Xbox. Niall is sitting in one of the beanbags next to Harry while the other boys, they got Marcel too, are on the two mattresses in the corner.

"Yes, I do believe so yes. I mean I know for a fact I didn't write her and she did wrote back saying 'Dear Niall'. Also if Louis wouldn't have done it, then why would he hide the envelope?" Niall asks. Liam shakes his head.

"You do know that you are stating that Louis wrote a letter to-" Niall sighs.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm stating Louis wrote a letter to my mom. Now, can we move on?" Niall asks impatiently. He has explained it five times by know and he just wants to know what the best way to confront Louis is. 

"What should I do?" Niall asks as he looks around the room. Harry tilts his shoulders and looks to the other guys. Liam is still processing the last news and Edward looks a little lost too. Marcel however seems to be thinking.

"Maybe there is nothing you can do." He says eventually. Niall looks at him like he is crazy. It kind of hurts to hear that from the person you had sex with within the last twenty four hours, but Niall has other things on his mind.

"Why can't I do anything?" Niall asks as he stands up. Harry follows him as if Niall can't stand nor walk on his own. They walk around waiting for Marcel's answer, but it doesn't come. Niall looks at the guys and sees them whispering to each other. Niall stops walking and keeps his eyes on Marcel's mouth. 

"Hello? Earth to Marcel, Edward and Liam." Th guys look at him and apparently Harry is done with shadowing and sits down next to Liam.

"Why can't I do anything?" Niall asks again. Marcel bites his bottom lip, eyebrows arched and eyes big and puffy. Marcel looks to the guys on his left and they look away. 

"Well, if you would write your mother a letter back it wouldn't arrive on time. Also, Louis isn't going to be back before Thursday night so you can't scream at him now." Marcel says with that stupid know-it-all look on his face. The more Marcel says, the more annoyed Niall is. Niall walks in a circle and walks against the wall. He then throws his head against the wall. 

"Why did you do that?!" Liam gasps. He stands up and makes Niall sit down in one of those beanbags. 

"Why are you so worked up over your mother anyway?" Liam asks as he sits next to Niall. Niall looks at Harry who nods at him in encouragement. Niall looks around and sees that everyones eyes is on him. He looks down to his fingers that are swirling around each other. Niall sighs and looks up to the ceiling. 

"My mom hates me." Niall says with an unsteady voice. He whips his head from side to side and clamps his jaws. 

"We know that. Can you explain why?" Edward says he with a bored tone. Niall looks at his with a fallen face and clears his throat.

"She believes I killed my brother and made my father disappear." Niall says, voice freakishly steady. The boys look at him with giant eyes and Niall feels the tension surrounding him. It's choking him, making his head hurt.

"Why?" Marcel asks as he stands up. Edward and Harry stand up to and follow him to the other beanbags. Niall looks at them and smiles a little. Niall feels like they believe him no matter what he says and Niall loves the attention.

"My brother, father and me all had a car accident. I thought my brother and dad both died, but apparently my dad just disappeared." Niall says. 

"Then why does your mother blame you?" Edward asks not understanding.

"I was crying because we came back from my doctors appointment, possibly distracting my father." Niall says. He stands up snd walks to the bar to grab a glass of water. When he drinks it the door opens and Vera, Elli and Dani all walk through the door.

"Hello everyone." Elli says as she sits down in the corner. Vera goes straight to Marcel and sits down on his lap. Niall clutches the glass harder and grinds his teeth. Dani walks over to Elli and sits down. They talk in whispered tones and ignore everything around them. Niall glides his eyes over to Vera and Marcel and drops his glass. Vera and Marcel stop kissing and all look at Niall. Niall shakes his head and goes to clean up the glass. 

"Ouch." Niall says as he cuts the tip of his finger on a broken piece. He throws the broken glass away and cleans up the water. When Niall stands up again everyones attention isn't on him anymore and Niall feels like this is the perfect situation to leave. He still needs to work at Nuxa tonight and he needs to hurry if he wants to be on time. 

+

Nuxa is empty and Niall is reading his history book. He has a test tomorrow and it's very important for him to make it right. Niall doesn't think much about what happened tonight because he doesn't have to time for it at all. 

"Hey." Harry says as he stands in front of Niall. Niall takes a step back and looks at Harry in shock.

"Fucking hell, I didn't even hear you come in." Niall says as he puts a hand on his heart. Harry smiles cutely and sits down on the barstool. 

"How did you come here?" Harry asks as he looks outside. Niall picks up his shoulders.

"I walked." Niall says. Harry's head turns around and Niall is scared he hurt his neck. 

"That's crazy." Harry says slowly. Niall smiles and agrees with the nodding of his head. 

"You know what's also crazy?" Harry asks eventually. Niall shakes his head and turns back to grab a smoothy for himself and Harry.

"What is also crazy?" Niall asks back.

"That you slept with Marcel last night." Harry drops. Niall's face falls down, eyes open wide, mouth open and eyebrows up in his hairline. 

"How did you know?!" Niall gasps. Harry smiles wider and then looks serious.

"I just do. However, you do know he is still with Vera?" Harry asks. 

Niall shakes his head. No he didn't know for fucks sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,  
> I know it has been a long while since the last chapter.  
> My school is crazy right now and I honestly don't know if I can update again before my exams mid-May. I will try to update another chapter probably in April because that's when I have a slight pause in my school stuff.
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and patience. 
> 
> I swear as soon my exams are over we are going like crazy :)
> 
> -All The Lovee


	15. Hello Father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: cheating?

Niall's world is crashing down. He is stuck running on a treadmill while the rest of the world is moving along with the hands on the clock. Niall feels like dying. No, dying would feel better. His chest is heavy and Niall can't seem to take a deep steady breath. He places a hand in his chest, waits for it to rises and fall but it never does. His ears are screaming at him, silencing everything out. Marcel cheated. Marcel cheated on Vera, with him. He feels like dirt. He wants to wash the night before of him. He wants to cleanse himself from those memories. He wants it all to go away.

It stays.

Harry is looking at him, only him. Niall doesn't like being watched. Harry's eyes are uncertain and Niall can feel that familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach. Those eyes. Always looking at him like he is that one person who seems to have it worse than anyone else.

"I thou- " Harry's voice cracks before he clears it and tries again. "I thought you knew?" Harry asks. The vibrant voice doesn't make sense, none of this does. Marcel cheated. Marcel cheated. 

Niall needs to sit down. He walks towards the other side of the bar and sits himself two stools from Harry down. His feet can't touch the floor. Harry scoots one stool over and places a hand on his back. Niall would like to be swallowed by his arms instead. Niall doesn't move though, Harry would feel too much like Marcel. Marcel who he trusted and who he likes. _Why_?

"How?" Niall starts. He can't figure out his words. He can't figure out Marcel's actions. "Why would he?" Niall says, he shakes his head. He wants to go back home.

"Niall, I am so sorry." Harry says before he steps down from the stool and engulfs him completely. Niall tries to shake him off. He can't handle feeling the loving hands of _his_ brother. Harry does not budge, only seems to cuddle him closer. Niall feels bad when he wriggles his arms free and pushes Harry back.

"Go home, I'll close up." Niall says, wiping his cheek. His cheek isn't wet and Niall takes his hand from his face and looks at it in disbelief. Why isn't he crying? Why doesn't he care?

"Niall?" Harry asks. Niall looks up from his hand and sees Harry. Harry is crying. Why is Harry crying? Why isn't he crying?

"Leave Harry, please." Niall says. He is getting annoyed. Annoyed and angry at himself for simply not caring enough. What is he doing? He should feel something. He should feel worse than he feels now. He should cry for hours and hours. Why isn't he crying?

"Niall I'm not leaving you here. Hoe did you even come here? There's no car or bicycle outside." Harry says waiting for Niall to snap out of his thoughts. Harry is scared. Niall looks utterly lost and he doesn't knows what he should do. How he can help. He should have a word with Marcel.

"I walked here, remember?" Niall says walking back around the bar and grabbing his things. Harry's eyes are wide as he looks over his shoulder to the dark sky. Niall walked all the way to Nuxa's.

"Niall, that's like a forty five minute walk! I thought you were joking!" Harry scolds as he turns his head back. Harry is looking at Niall's small frame, only now realising just how small he is. Niall is shutting off the expensive looking coffee machine and it's about twice as wide as Niall. That can't be good.

"Niall." Harry sighs trying to get a reaction out of him. Niall just shrugs before he disappears through the kitchen door to shut everything off there. Harry taps his right foot on the hard wooden floor as he waits for Niall to reappear. Niall takes his time and Harry can feel himself growing restless. Maybe he should check in him? He changes his waiting stance and before he can do anything else he can feel his phone buzzing in his pocket. He grabs it and slides to answer without looking at the name of the caller.

"Harry Styles." Harry says, his voice full of authority so his staff knows their place. Harry doesn't hear anything for a while. He sighs. "Harry Styles, who is this?" Harry tries again. This time Harry can hear something rustling as he waits impatiently for the caller to identify themselves.

"Hello darling." Louis voice beams. Harry shakes his head as he lets out a little breath. 

"Everything okay there?" Harry asks. Louis is doing a photo shoot all the way in the States and Harry misses him dearly. Louis has always been a great distraction from what Harry is feeling. Ever since he got kidnapped Louis changed though. Harry knows it's because he cares, but it still hurts. 

"Yeah, I am going to have to stay here until Wednesday. I will be back Thursday afternoon." Louis says slowly as if Harry is a small child that needs to take everything word for word in. He doesn't. 

"You will be home the day before student-parent meeting then. How fun." The sarcasm is dripping of his words and spilling onto the floor. Harry can't help it. The letter Niall got is always present in the back of his mind. He can't deal with this all.

"Yeah I suppose so. My parents aren't coming, yours?" Louis asks obvious noticing the change in Harry's tone. Harry can't get fed up by Louis. Louis who means so much to him, Louis who definitely knows what's wrong and what's right. Louis who will always pick Harry's wellbeing over his own. 

"Yeah my father is coming and so is Liam's." Harry says as he looks around Nuxa. It's different when it's empty. Harry doesn't like it. "Look Louis, I have to go. Call you soon, yeah?" Harry asks as he sees Niall emerging from the kitchen.

"Actually." Louis voice sings. Harry adverts his gaze to look at his right, thinking he could hear Louis better when he is turned towards the phone. 

"Yeah?" Harry asks prompting Louis to move things along. Louis makes a few small noises. Harry can see that he is opening his mouth and then closing it again. Eventually, Louis does speak up.

"I was wondering, do you by any chance know where the pills in the kitchen drawer are? I tried looking for them a few days ago, but I have no idea to where they are." Louis asks. Harry scrunches up his face. 

"I am sorry, I don't know anything about the pills from the kitchen drawer." Harry says ever so slowly. "Do you need them? I can buy some more?" Harry asks quickly. Since when does Louis take pills? Harry looks at his phone when he hears nothing. It disconnected, how weird.

"Was that Louis?" Niall asks grasping Harry's attention. Harry puts his phone back into his pocket and nods. 

"Yeah, he wanted to know if I knew anything about the pills in the kitchen drawer." Harry walks over to the counter and leans onto it. Niall seems surprised by Harry's words. His eyebrows are knit together and his hands are folding snd unfolding over and over again. Harry keeps on looking.

"Do you know anything about those pills?" Harry asks a few seconds later. Niall shakes his head too strong to be genuine. Harry doesn't push it though. They stand in silence as they wait for the other one to say something.

+

"You can sleep in Louis' bed if you'd like." Harry offers as they walk out of the elevator. The ride back to the school was silent and Niall can feel his need to lay down and reflect on the day growing. He doesn't want to see Marcel however. Niall is reluctant to go to his room. Maybe that's why Harry asked. 

"I don't really like Louis right now." Niall says as he places his hand on his and Marcel's doorknob. Harry just nods, but doesn't take off. Niall turns the knob, but can't open the door. It's locked from the inside. Niall tries by pushing against it. The door doesn't budge and Niall can feel his sadness spreading. 

"Stupid fucking door." Niall says as he pulls and pushes trying to get any sort of friction happening. Nothing works so Niall presses his forehead against the wood. He breathes out, he can feel the tears stinging behind his eyes. 

Harry's hand is foreign as it comes down on Niall's back. It's comforting, that's for sure. Niall doesn't want it though, he wants to lay in bed and cry himself to sleep. He wants to wake up in his room to Javier who is fucking some girls. He wants to walk across campus and stare at the group he now calls his roommates. He wants to leave the school and walk to Nuxa's for forty five minutes before starting his shift. He wants to stand on the side of the bleachers as the football team scores. Instead, he is slowly knocking himself unconscious on his locked bedroom door. Life is _great_.

"C'mon." Harry says as he drags Niall with him. "You can sleep in my bed, yeah?" He says as he supports Niall's body. It's as heavy as Niall's thoughts. 

Harry places him inside some clouds and Niall can feel himself starting to drift away. Away from what he calls home. He doesn't fall asleep though, he doesn't until far after Harry is sound asleep. Niall tosses and turns under the weight of five giant blankets. It takes a two hour cry to get Niall so worn out to fall asleep. 

+

Niall doesn't get our of bed the following morning. Harry has tried to get him up and running, but Niall has waved him off every time. He doesn't want to see Marcel or Vera or anyone really. Niall planned on starving until he passes out here and there, but Harry gave him breakfast. Harry is a great friend, really. It's just so painful to see Harry, because Harry reminds him off Marcel and whenever Niall thinks about Marcel there is this inhuman feeling in his chest. It's the feeling of protesters shattering his glass heart only for him to pick up the pieces. He tries to remake the heart, but every time Marcel crosses his mind it breaks again. Maybe he should just leave it broken.

+

Things don't change on Tuesday. Niall hasn't left Harry's bed in 36 hours and he can feel the sweat turning into grease. He should take a shower. His clothes are in his own room however and Niall happens to know that Marcel is free on Tuesday, which means he can't go out to grab some clothes, of course. Harry has brought him three meals yesterday, today he hasn't brought anything yet. Niall can't take it personal, Harry is also looking out for himself. It's only fair to try and get Niall out of bed by starving him. Niall would've done the same. He does feel a bit better than he did yesterday. Maybe time does heal all wounds.

+

Time does not heal all wounds. Niall found out on Wednesday when he actually did get up. He can't afford to miss any more hours of school. He has grades that need his full attention and he can't give it to them with staying in bed all day. Thankfully, Harry informed Niall of Marcel departure in the early hours of the day. Niall got out of bed, showered and grabbed his school stuff. He didn't feel hungry enough to eat. He walks through the halls and for once he is glad everyone isn't looking at him. It's like he is the same colour of the walls and Niall is loving it. He stops loving it when he spots Marcel and Vera draped around each other by his locker. They are kissing, right in front of his face. They don't see Niall though, because he bolts out of the building as soon as he remembers how his legs work. He reads the letter over and over again. He falls asleep after he memorised it.

+

Niall wakes up the next morning with the letter unfolded next to his head. There is a small stain on them from Niall's drooling. Niall does't feel bad about it. That's how his day starts. 

When lunch comes around he feels a little more like himself. He ate a solid meal and drank gallons of water to hydrate himself after all those hours of sobbing. Harry must have noticed it sometimes, but he hasn't said anything yet. Niall really like Harry. That's why he is looking at Harry instead of towards Edward and Vera who are on the stage. They are talking about upcoming weekend and all the fun activities for the students and the parents. Niall isn't listening, rather entranced by watching Harry's face. Harry wears a big smile whenever Edward starts talking, his eyes are basically sparkling with adoration for his brother and dear friend. Niall feels himself getting jealous, so he looks away. 

Luck doesn't seem to be on his side as he looks straight into Marcel's eyes. Marcel keeps on looking and Niall tries not to squirm. He doesn't want Marcel to know what he does to Niall. Niall can't handle this right now, probably never. Marcel doesn't seem to get the memo though and slowly walks over to where Niall is sanding. Niall tries to look away from the tall boy. Anywhere, but Marcel. Niall sees Harry looking at him with amusement swimming in his eyes. Harry's eyes flicker between his walking brother and the quivering Niall. Once Harry finds out Niall is watching he doesn't take his eyes off him. Even when Marcel stops right next to Niall's fame.

"We should talk." Marcel whispers in Niall's ear. There is no real emotion in his voice and Niall closes his eyes. Nothing happens for a while. Marcel grabs his arm and Niall eyes shot open. Harry is still looking at him. Looking like he is about to interfere at any given moment now. Niall tries to get his attention, but Harry can't seem to take the hint.

Marcel tugs Niall through the crowd all the way to the door of the hidden toilet. 

+

"You have been avoiding me." Marcel says as they enter the hallway. Niall shakes his head in protest more than in denying the statement. Marcel is walking circles in front of him and Niall feels angry that Marcel is the one about to lose control. Marcel cheated on him, not the other way around. 

"I thought you knew." Marcel says as he stops walking. He looks at Niall, there is nothing but honesty in his eyes and Niall can feel himself getting lost again.

"Why the fuck would I sleep with you if I know you are in a relationship?!" Niall asks, his voice getting higher at the end of the sentence. "I don't know who you think I am, but I am not that kind of person." Niall keeps on rambling. "I didn't think you would be the one to cheat too, guess you can be wrong about someone sometimes, eh." Niall ends. He is absolutely fuming. His hands are shaking and his face feels burned. 

Marcel takes a step back. "I am not that kind of person, either." He says, starting his defence. "It wasn't cheating per say." Marcel goes on. "I don't swing that way, mate." Marcel finishes. Niall can't believe what he is hearing. Marcel doesn't swing that way? Marcel doesn't think fucking Niall was cheating? What is happening? Niall breath starts picking up and Marcel looks alarmed. Marcel reaches out for Niall's shivering pale body, but Niall slaps his hands away.

"Drop dead." Niall says as he walks out of the hallway, back into the dining hall. He can feel some of the eyes on him as he passes through the crowds. He hears Harry calling for him, but Niall picks up the pace. He can't do this. Not all in once, hopefully not ever. Niall walks and walks.

+

He walks for hours towards the nearest city. The sun is setting and the temperature is lowering. Niall regrets not grabbing a jacket on his way out. He had to get out of that building. It wasn't even a decision, he just knew what he had to do and what he had to do was get the hell out of there. Niall needs answers, Niall needs freedom, Niall needs all the pressure on his shoulders to be lifted off him, Niall needs anything but this. So Niall walks until the sky is dark and he is shivering from head to toe. It's so cold. 

Niall finds himself standing in front of the police station and wonders if he should go in or not. He needs answers, maybe he can get some of them from his father. Maybe not. Niall shrugs, it can't get much worse than this. He makes his way up the steps and enters the warm building completely dehydrated. He makes a beeline for the toilets to refresh himself a little. Th officers will probably take him more seriously of he looks mentally stable. 

He walks out in fake confidence and asks the woman behind the reception for a meeting with his father. The woman tells him to take a seat and that another officer will get him as soon as his father agrees in meeting him. Right there, right now.

+

 

"You always disliked me. Why?" Niall asks his father right after they greet each other. His father is looking better than the last time Niall seen him and Niall hates it. He wants his father to rot in hell and never look healthy ever again. Niall looks worse than his older self and he is a free man. Maybe Niall should convert to breaking the law.

"Well, well. How funny you came back crawling to me. What has it been? Two weeks or something?" His father mocks him. "I have always disliked you because I knew you weren't ever going to be like me. You are a big fucking pussy for doing nothing. You never fought back, you never proved the fact that you are a man. So you aren't a man and I will never treat you like one." His father answers. Niall feels himself not caring. He wonders if it's the years of emotional abuse for him to be immune to it now.

"Where is my brother?" Niall asks next, not even bothering with replying to his father's nasty comments.

"Dead." His father says like it's nothing. Niall shakes his head in disbelief. Dead? 

"How did he die?" Niall kind of loved his brother he thinks. He helped Niall getting food every once in a while which is nice. His brother also helped him taking care of the bruises. 

"I think he was in a car accident. I don't remember." His father says. 

"You don't remember your son dying?" 

"No, although it's better to know how he died than knowing you are still alive." His father says with a side nod. It stings. The words sting and it hurts, but Niall doesn't comment on it.

"You should've died, you know that right?" His father asks him, inching closer to the glass in between them. Niall nods his head as he places the phone back where it belongs. He stands up slowly and walks away, leaving his father behind. Niall knows very well that he should've died instead of his brother. His mother never failed to tell him so everyday. At first he was reluctant to believe it, but they are both right. Niall is just someone people pity, he is not a friend or family. He is a sad boy who needs the kindness of others to survive. 

+

Niall walks back towards the school. The three hour long walk kills Niall from the inside out. He almost things about giving up and just stop walking when he remembers that his mother is coming down tomorrow. He also needs to sleep in his own room tonight, Harry made it very clear when he rolled Niall over this morning so he could wash the sheets for Louis' return. Niall hasn't even thought about Louis yet. Louis who left him crying in an empty office because he believed he hurt Harry, Niall could never hurt Harry. Niall wishes Harry could never hurt him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, quick update for all of you. This week is full of finals so I will be updating regularly after this and next week, I can't wait. I wrote this in one night. Those 3 month writers block did me good XD.


	16. Hello Mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: There will be talk about abuse but nothing too graphic.

The first thing Niall notices is that his mother changed her hair and the first thing Niall does is set a reminder to stop dyeing his own hair. He changed his hair to not look like his mother, but now she has the same colour and Niall feels tingles under his skin, begging him to wash his hair. To Niall’s fortune his mother still looks the same in the rest of her features. Her eyes are sunken back into her skull, pupils blown wide, making her eyes appear black. Her skin has lost all colour and is starting to let go of her bone structure. Her hands are permanently shaking, her feet are running around like crazy and it seems like she is two minutes away from a mental breakdown. 

“Maybe you should go to her?” Harry says. Harry has been by his side ever since Niall woke up this morning and he is so grateful. Unfortunately, Niall knows Harry is only doing this because he feels bad for the way Louis has been treating him. 

“I was kind of hoping Louis would welcome her.” Niall says, his tone sharp. “He was the one that invited her.” Niall ends, his eyes on his mother. His mother who has started asking people about where her son could be. When she looks towards where Niall is Niall jumps behind Harry’s broad shoulders. He retreats to his spot when she starts pacing around again.

“I know Louis invited her-”

“It’s common courtesy, Harold.” Niall scolds when Harry tries to reason Louis’ motives. Harry looks at Niall then, his eyes dull and lips slightly parted. Niall raises his eyebrows and waits for a witty comeback that never comes. Instead, Harry’s eyes leave Niall’s face to stare right over his shoulder. Niall thinks about looking back, but actually does so when he feels a hand on his shoulder. 

“I signed the letter with your name.” Louis says when Niall turns around. Louis and Niall’s are so close Niall can feel Louis sharp intake of breath after he finishes his sentence. Niall frowns at him, giving Louis a once over. Louis is wearing a suit, a very expensive looking suit. Niall is wearing a white t-shirt with many holes in them and jeans that keeps falling off his hips. Niall looks -feels- like an intruder. “You, as her son, should welcome her.” Louis tacks on with a cocky smile. Niall presses his lips onto each other and clenches his fists at his side. The reaction came naturally after all those times he has seen Louis doing it. 

“I will not.” Niall says as he unclenches and stands back, hands folded in front of him. Louis in return looks even more pissed off. His eyes are peering into Niall’s soul, he towers over Niall by expanding his chest and then he smacks his lips onto each other. 

“It’s only common courtesy.” Louis says, a small smile playing on his lips. “She sounds lovely from what I have read.” Louis smiles wider, his eyes twinkling with amusement. Niall sucks in a deep breath before he turns to the hurricane that is his mother. She is standing still, a water bottle in one hand and a small plastic thing in the other one. Niall can’t see what it is. He breathes out before he looks at Harry who is standing close behind, ready to intervene if Louis and Niall turned physical. 

“Mother.” Niall calls out as he walk towards the drugged down woman in the middle of the room. Niall can imagine the smug look on Louis’ face, but he can’t look back. He needs to keep his eyes on his mother, who is ready to swallow two blue pills. Pills that look exactly like those he found in the kitchen drawer. 

“Niall, son, took you long enough.” His mother hisses. Niall bites the inside of his cheek; a habit he developed ever since his mother blamed him. Niall hates this, Niall hates her. 

“Well, are you going to just stand there or are you introducing me to your lovely friends?” His mother scolds. Niall raises his eyebrows in confusion and looks back to see Louis, Harry and Edward standing very close to him and his mother. They could hear them loud and clear. 

“Of course, mother,” Niall refuses to call her by her name or anything else she is not. “This is Louis. He is an actor and model.” Niall adds on. 

“Louis, lovely to meet you.” His mother says as she pulls Louis into a warm embrace. Niall’s mouth falls open in total surprise of his mother's actions. Niall hasn’t had a hug like that since he was seven and then Louis comes by and his mother seems to remember common courtesy. Niall feels his heart breaking. 

“Ssh, it’s going to be fine. I am here.” Harry whispers into his ear. His hand has come to rub down on Niall’s back and Niall wishes it was just him and Harry here. 

“I am Edward, the oldest one of my brothers, Harry and Marcel.” Edward introduces himself, a little smile playing at his lips. “Nice to meet you.” He says as he too is pulled into Niall’s mother’s arms. Niall blinks away the tears forming in his eyes and turns towards Harry. 

“It isn’t fair.” Niall says, his head pressed into Harry’s chin. Harry clicks his tongue and keeps rubbing his hand over Niall’s back. Niall’s small, fast breathes warming his left side. “It isn’t fair, this can’t be true.” Harry can feel Niall shake his head against his shoulder. 

“Niall,” Niall stands up straight, looks Harry in the eye and turns around again to face his mother. “Stop being a baby and introduce me to your friend.” His mother slightly closes her eyes and shoots daggers at him. Niall sniffs. 

“This is Harry, he is the middle one of the famous Styles triplets.” Niall voice is shaking, almost unheard by his mother because of the noise of all these other people engaging with their parents like they love each other. 

“Nice to meet you.” Harry sticks out his hand before Clare can hug him. They shake hands for a little while, neither one of them losing eye contact. 

“Clare, would you please come to dinner with us? Our parents unfortunately have a meeting with each other, but we would love to get to know you better.” Louis says, his hands clasped behind his back, his head lowered to show utter submission. 

“Oh darling I would love to.” Clare says as she takes a few steps back to stop invading Harry’s personal space. “I will catch up with Niall first, though.” 

“Of course, Clare. How about seven o’clock?” Edward takes over. Niall feels like his murderous glare is being ignored. 

“Seven o’clock it is.” Clare nods. She grabs Niall’ hand and starts dragging him towards the exit. Niall throws a helpless look at Harry, who is too busy talking to Louis. Niall gulps his anxiety and walks along with his mother. 

They walk towards the garden Niall can see from his bedroom window. The MonkeyWise was built on twelve o’clock in the circle of buildings on campus. Behind the building there is a huge garden with tons of different kind of flowers that all could be studied by biology students. Niall hasn’t been in the garden a lot since he moved, his view from upstairs giving him enough satisfaction. 

His mother being there is a whole other reason Niall doesn’t want to be here. He rather spends another sleepless night thirteen levels off the ground, because Louis could come for him every second, than be here for one more minute. 

Niall follows his mother, who still has the same slouch in her posture since the day he was born, towards a bench in between the forget-me-nots. They sit down but enough room for three people to sit between them. It takes exactly twenty one seconds before his mother grabs her pills and bottle of water. Niall looks away from the freak show. 

“You seem to have quite some friends.” His mother starts, only to keep on talking. “I hope you serve them well?” 

“What do you mean?” Niall voice higher than he’d like to admit.

“What do you mean ‘what do you mean’, Niall?” His mother snaps as she turns towards him. Her body shielding her. “I taught you how to clean, I taught you how to do the laundry, I taught you how to clean the nastiest of stains. I want you to serve them like I thought you.” His mother explains. “I want them to keep wanting you as their ‘friend’.” 

Niall is completely lost for words by his mother’s confession. He can believe his mother wouldn't understand him having friends of such a high social level, but he wouldn't think she thought of him serving them. Niall wouldn't serve a single person on this planet for their fake friendship. Ever. 

“Mother, Clare,” Niall grunts. “I do not serve them. They are my friends.” Niall clenches his teeth, words fighting their way out if his mouth. 

“I don’t understand. Do you do their homework?” Clare asks, she scoots closer towards Niall, almost knocking him off the bench. “Maybe you shouldn’t. You are not very smart, dear.” Her voice is low and soft as if she is telling him a sweet goodnight, but instead her words fill Niall with rage. He pries her hands off his arms and stands up. He wishes not to fight with his mother, but she leaves him no choice. 

“Clare, they are just my friends. I don’t serve them.” Niall clarifies yet again. His mother puffs and shakes her head in disagreement. The small actions only poke Niall further until there are frustrated tears running down his face. His throat feels warm and fuzzy, his head feels cold and clear. He is getting mixed signals by his friends and his body and Niall feels as if the whole world just turned against him. 

“I don’t understand.” His mother says, looking around the garden before eyeing Niall again. Niall takes a huge breath and counts to seven, the number ten being overrated. 

“That’s okay.” Niall says, he steps down from the side bar onto the pathway that leads further into the garden. “I figured you wouldn't.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His mother says, standing up. She stands up fast enough to get a bit woozy and takes a second to come to her senses. Niall didn’t bother helping her. Niall turns away from his mother and walk further into the garden, his mother right behind him. 

They air is chilly and Niall slowly wraps his arms around himself. His mother ,being as thoughtful as she, is wrapped up in multiple jackets. Her skinny frame hidden beneath. Niall takes a good look at her. Her hair is dirty, almost like she hasn't washed it in weeks, but she smells clean do that can’t be it. Her pupils are blown wide from the drugs, Niall can barely see the blue irises. Her lips are bitten and an ugly dead flesh colour. Niall gets a little choked up over his mother's appearance, but he can’t and won’t do anything about it. She wants him dead, he wants her alive and well, too bad neither is going to happen soon.

“I was a little surprised that you sent me that letter. You hadn't talked to me in ages.” His mother says when they turn back towards the building Niall has grown to love. 

“I didn’t know why I wrote, mother.” Niall says, deciding on keeping the fact that Louis’ wrote her instead a lie. It’s better like this, he tells himself. His mother just keeps quiet and keeps walking slowly. Hunger for more than awkward silences growing in the both of them.

In the MonkeyWise, the building Niall and Clare are walking too, Harry has finally found the courage to confront Louis. Louis, Liam, Marcel, Edward and Harry are all upstairs sitting in the living room. Their parents had decided to get diner with each other without their children to properly catch up. Elle, Vera and Dani were all invited to Paris by their fathers so they gladly got up and went. No one truly knows where Zayn is, but they just know he’ll be alright. 

Liam has been telling the other’s about the new restaurant they would be opening in Edinburgh next week, but Harry hasn’t been listening. Harry has been looking at Louis, listening to Louis and he wonders how on earth Louis, this Louis, could ever hurt Niall like that. It isn’t fair, nor will it ever be. Harry can play fair here though.

“Why do you hate Niall so much?” The words leave Harry’s mouth before he can stop them. The thought had been around for ages, but he never meant to say it. Everyone turns and looks at him, including an offended look from Liam for interrupting him. Harry clears his throat and looks directly at Louis. Louis who is pressing his lips against each other, his eyes sharp and his shoulders broad. 

“What do you mean?” Louis says, no emotion in his voice. Harry has never liked this side of Louis, he rather has the lovely crinkled-eyed smile one. Harry knows what he has to do though, he has to protect Niall.

“You have been a real dick ever since he started living here. Why?” Harry speaks faster than he normally does, but it’s because he wants this to be over as soon as possible. He hates stretching our uncomfortable situations, he rather has comfortable silences. 

“I am not sure if we can trust him yet.” Louis says, his voice sounding a tad sarcastic as if Harry questioned something very obvious. Harry scoffs at the respond and stand up from the leather couch. 

“With what could you possibly not trust him, that whole father thing wasn’t his fault!” Harry screams out frustration, because Louis may be hearing his words, but he isn’t fucking listening. 

“Calm down, Curly.” Louis starts rubbing his hand up and down Harry’s arm in a soothing manner. Harry's breath does even out after a while, but he decides not to give up here. 

“Why did you invite his mother? It was made very clear they can’t stand each other.” Harry stands up straight and looks at Louis. Louis seems a bit insecure, his bottom lip disappearing into his mouth as he nibbles onto it. 

“I want the truth. I need to know that the story Niall tells us is true.” Louis says, his voice a little broken.

“Didn’t you already get that by reading the letters?” 

“I just had to be sure. One hundred percent. I’m only doing this to protect you all, you have been very clingy to him.” Louis says the first part with confidence but starts trailing off.

“You are not doing this for us Louis. Why do you care so _much_?” Harry asks, only to be greeted sith absolute silence. Louis isn’t talking, in fact it seems like he is barely in that room. His eyes fixed on a wall behind Harry, stare-like and a little dead. Harry wonders what Louis is doing and why is doing it.

And then it just clicks. 

 

+

 

“I hope you like mushrooms?” Louis asks Clare from where he is seated. Louis never answered Harry’s question but instead stated that they should be preparing for diner. 

“I love mushrooms, nice pick.” Clare says, her eyes twinkling as she looks Louis, who is seated right in front of her, in the eyes. They are having crab and lobster filled mushrooms. Niall has always hated the rough and sometimes tough texture of mushrooms. This diner isn't for Niall though.

“How many mushrooms do you want, Niall?” Liam asks as he stops by Niall’s plate to put the dish on. There were only a few occasions were Liam would be the one plating the food and this seems like one of them. 

“I’d have tw-“ 

“He will be having one.” His mother interrupts him. Niall looks at her, waiting for an explanation. She just shrugs. “Can’t have you get anything more than just life basics, no can we?” His mother taunts. It surprises Niall because he didn't expect his mother’s clear hatred for him to shine thorough so fast. Liam plates him one mushroom.

Harry who sits besides him has placed a careful hand on his thigh. Harry hasn't anything for the past minutes, which is unusually since he is normally off and talking to whoever wants to hear him. Niall looks over and nods a little, telling Harry he has received his silent support. Harry takes his hand off Niall and turns towards Clare.

“Do you have any cute stories of Niall when he was a kid?” Harry asks an easy smile playing at his lips. Niall could fall in love if Harry didn't look exactly like Marcel. Marcel who has slipped him a note right before Niall sat down. He hasn't read it yet and isn't planning on doing that any time soon.

“Well, it’s been quite a while since he did anything cute.” His mother starts. Niall’s hand around a bottle of beer. “I suppose that time he pooped his pants was really cute.” His mother decides. 

“We were taking him shopping and he had the cutest clothes on. A little sailor costume with a hat, ah, it was a sight.” His mother sighs. “An hour in our shopping trip the bastard became a little fussy, so my husband decided to give him some warm milk. Twenty minutes later, I kid you not, his entire sailor costume was pooped under.” His mother laughs hard throughout the last sentence. “Ahh, you should’ve seen him.” Her laugh drives Niall crazy. A loud obnoxious sound pushing and pulling on his braincells, begging for him to loose some.

It stays silent after his mother’s little story is done. Niall feels a little smug as the other guys at the table just look lost as what just happened. Edward opens his mouth to say something but thinks better of it so he shakes his head and closes his mouth.

It’s uncomfortable and Niall just focusses on his mushroom. The clinking of utensils hitting each other and the plate fills sounds the air. 

“Why do you think Niall killed your other son?” Louis asks. Niall listens intensely and spits out the last piece of mushroom in his mouth. He looks up to see his mother staring at Louis. Every other person is staring at Niall, waiting for him to do something.

“Louis, please.” Niall almost whispers. He grabs his beer and chugs down a few mouthfuls. 

“Niall.” His mother warns. Niall knows exactly what she wants from him, but he doesn't want say it. It shows weakness and Niall hates feeling weak. 

“Sorry, uh..” Niall clears his throat and tries to loosen the collar of his shirt. “Sorry, Sir. Please forgive my rude interruption.” Niall says, his eyes on his spit out piece of mushroom. Louis is lost for words. 

“Louis, dear, if you must know.” His mother speaks and Niall feels his throat closing in on him. He breaths in and out, the sweat dripping from his forehead. “My husband was taking an ill Niall and perfectly healthy Ted to the doctor. It was raining pretty heavy so my husband had trouble seeing the other vehicles. Unfortunately, Niall’s cries got so loud my husband had to take some action. This caused the car to slip and hit another car. Killing my son instantly.” 

“What action did your husband had to take in order to silence Niall?” Louis asks, his hands placed in front of him on the table. He is bent a little forward to appear more superior. 

“My husband and I had come to an agreement, that whenever necessary we could hit our children. It’s mutual, we’ve discussed it.” Clare says, words rolling of her tongue as if it’s clear as to why her husband and her came to that agreement.

“Did you or your husband hit Ted, too?” Edward asks. Niall tries to recall any memories of his parents hitting Ted, but he doesn't remember anything. Maybe he was too busy being hurt to remember it. 

“I have never hurt Ted, my husband did once.” Clare nods as if she is proud of the response. Edward scoffs and shakes his head. He takes a huge sip of his drink, begging himself to get drunk. Louis is grinding his teeth over each other, glaring at Niall’s mother. 

“Did you hurt Niall?” Harry asks. Niall wants this line of question to stop. He feels like he is out of his own body spirit wise. His so called friends are questioning his so called mother about his past as if he isn’t even there. It makes him feel like he is seven again, cleaning the living room and kitchen when his parents and brother are watching TV. Niall shudders, wanting to forget that ever happened. He felt invisible, unloved and unwanted. 

“I had no other choice, but to hurt him. He was a pain in the butt. Always crying and screaming for attention. His brother was so much better.” His mother says, eyes staring into the void, full of love when she is talking about Ted. “Niall should’ve died instead.”

It takes one second for the sentence to truly comprehend in everyone’s mind. It takes another second for everyone to react on it and within another three seconds everyone expect Niall’s mother had taken action. 

Liam, who has been trying to stick to water this whole evening, grabs onto Louis’ drink and downs it in one go. His head is spinning, mind racing to figure out what to so next. Luckily the other’s have already started to take serious action.

Edward, who has been trying to keep Louis from jumping out of his chair to choke Niall’s mother, stood up from his chair to walk over towards Marcel. He rubs his hands over Marcel’s arm to try and calm him down. “Sshh, little one.” Edward shushes. 

Marcel, who has been shaking his head from the moment they started talking about Niall’s past, has been getting vivid imagines in his head from when his uncle came to babysit them. Marcel was never as strong and manly as his brother. He and Niall have been physical abused by the same man. 

Harry, who has been keeping a close eye on Niall all night now, moved over from his seat to take Niall into his arms, rocking him gently from side to side, whispering sweet nothing in his ears. Niall feels small and fragile in his hands, Harry is almost scared to squeeze him a little. 

Niall, who has been trying to walk away all evening, lurched from his seat straight into Harry’s arms. His arms feel heavy and safe around him. Harry smells good, a bit sweaty, but very good. Niall hasn’t noticed he started crying already.

And then we have Louis, who has been trying to stop Clare from anything more stupid this evening, stood up from his chair and walked around the table to grab Clare’s T-shirt and pull her up to get her standing. He grabs her elbow and turns her around to look her straight in the eyes. 

“I think you should go.” Louis spits into her face. Clare visibly shivers and pulls herself out of his strong hold. Louis lets her go and gives a little shove to end it. 

Niall watches his mother leave, big smile playing on his lips. Louis has never looked better than he just did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How great is Get Low eeehh... Sorry I was so late. I am going on vacation in 5 and a half hours so I just update right now and then after the vacation I will update again. My vacation is around 13 days long, byeeeeeeee xxxx


	17. Goodbye Mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger Warnings: mention of suicide (if you blink you miss it), fluff**

_You should've died, you know that right?_  
You should've died, you know that right?  
You should've died, you know that right? 

Niall loses balance.

_Niall should’ve died instead._  
Niall should’ve died instead.  
Niall should’ve died instead. 

Niall enjoys the coldness of the broken-white squares. 

_My husband and I had come to an agreement, that whenever necessary we could hit our children._  
My husband and I had come to an agreement, that whenever necessary we could hit our children.  
My husband and I had 

Niall stills. Niall feels nothing, Niall sees nothing, Niall is nothing. 

Niall is.

+

Niall is on the roof. The twenty story flat right under him, his feet dangling over the edge. He wonders what his mother would do as she sees him sitting like this. Would she warn him to get back? Would she push him over the edge? 

It’s been two long days ever since Louis made his mother disappear and Niall has been skipping school. His grades are doing alright, his teacher’s don’t even know his name so there is nothing stopping Niall. Niall could jump off this building right now. Feel the warm feeling of the fresh-cut grass beneath his broken body. Maybe Niall will only feel whole again the moment he is dying. Maybe Niall will be dying but won’t feel whole again at all. Just empty. 

“God, Niall.” Niall mutters as he realises his thought process. Niall has been depressing himself out for a good forty-eight hours now and it has come to change. Niall looks up towards the lit sky, because the sun has come up hours ago. What he wouldn’t do to be a cloud for a day? So fluffy, able to survive even though it gets torn apart. People tend to hate the really dark clouds too. 

Niall sighs loudly and lets his body fall back onto the flat. He is laying lifeless as he waits on a sign of something, something that can tell him everything will be okay, something so reassuring Niall dares to go on with his life. Being on the roof has created some kind of special bubble where nothing can come to hunt him down. It’s his escape surface. Right in between real life and actually dying and god does it feel good. 

The silence and peace gets interrupted by a loud banging noise. The entrance to the roof flies open and bangs against the floor of the roof. Niall winces as he hears the echo, slightly praying for the roof to feel okay. 

Out of the entrance come three very well known people, Niall hasn’t seen since that particular night. He had left the building, went to a grocery store and has since then only entered the apartment when he knew everyone would be gone. Niall wondered if they were looking for him and where they would be looking. By the looks on Louis’, Harry’s and Liam’s face they have been.

“Niall get away from the edge.” Louis says, voice harsh and almost unrecognisable. Louis has this really unique voice Niall always seems to forget after minutes of talking to him. Niall slowly climbs of the edge and stands up when he feels safe enough to do so. They are standing three to one, but Niall knows there isn’t going to be a fight do he rests his arms alongside him and waits. 

“We have been looking for you all over.” Liam says, his voice full of worry as he takes a few steps towards Niall. Liam waits a second before walking further and Niall wonders if he should’ve moved instead. 

“Please tell me you have been eating and drinking. How are you feeling? Feeling dizzy?” Liam keeps rambling as he touches Niall’s forehead, neck and wrists. The other two come closer and Niall feels less alone now. 

“I am fine Liam, thanks for worrying.” Niall says, big smile on his face as he softly pushes Liam’s hands off of him. Liam stills a little before taking his hands of Niall and proceeds to smile from ear to ear. He grabs the younger boy on both sides and pulls him in for a hug. 

To his luck, Niall doesn’t flinch or freezes on spot so he wraps his arms around his friend and holds him there a little longer than usual. They let go, smile at each other and Niall is about to say something when Harry pushes Liam aside to get to Niall. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, his arms already wrapped around the smaller frame. Niall looks up, eyes wet from the freeing feeling in his chest. He smiles, chokes on his feelings and pushes himself further into Harry’s figure. Yes, yes, Niall is okay, Niall is the best he has ever been. 

“I promise we are all going to be a little better.” Harry whispers as he rocks Niall and himself gently side to side. Niall nods in his chest and tries to stop himself from crying out loud. 

“Thank you.” A fragile mind lets go of those words, let them swim through the ear to fall on deaf ears, because Harry has already started to lessen his hold. Niall doesn’t really care. 

“Nialler.” Louis says, his voice soft and private. Niall sees Liam and Harry take off towards the entrance on the side of Louis’ head. Niall hears the metal shut close and now the only thing reminding him from his life downstairs is Louis. 

Louis who has been a pain in the arse ever since Niall came to live with them. Louis who bought him new shoes and made his mother disappear. Louis who would do anything from his friends including hurting already broken hearts. Louis, who Niall secretly really admires, because not only shows Louis true bravery, Louis seems a little broken too. 

“Louis.” Niall says as his tips his head forward in old manner. “How have you been?” Niall follows up. Niall feels intimidated by Louis’ stare and wishes for his eyes to soften like they do when he is looking at Harry. 

“I could have been better. There is a lot of school work that needs to be done. I’ve been slacking off a bit.” Louis admits with a cock of his head. Niall smiles a sorry smile as he turns away from Louis. Louis does the same, nit willing to go just yet. They stand there watching the moon replace the sun ever so slowly. Niall walks up with the edges, hears Louis’ intake of breath before he squats down to sit on the edge like he did a few moments ago. Louis follows him. A little afraid to fall Louis grabs Niall by the shoulder and lets the blonde boy direct him to sit down properly. 

“I want to apologise,” Louis starts. It has been a good half an hour before any of the boys said something and the sky is now a lovely shade of pink. “I want to say sorry for throwing your shoes away and blaming you for Frank kidnapping Harry.” Louis looks away and Niall can feel himself saddening at the thought of the kidnapping. It was a horrible time and they are all lucky Harry took so little time to process everything. He has been a real champion at handling it. “I also feel terrible about writing your mother behind your back, asking her to come and visit. I should have respected your limits and I am so sorry for every hurting you.” 

Niall is swallowing throughout Louis’ tiny speech to make sure all the sobs in his throat won’t come out. Niall feels on the top of the world. Louis regrets everything he has ever done to Niall and Niall has never felt more cared for in his entire life. The thought of both those things make Niall tear up, but the tears don’t fall down. There is one thing left unnoticed. 

“Why did you do it?” Niall asks. Louis’ eyes widen and immediately leave Niall’s face and turns the other way. Niall doesn’t know why Louis is reacting like he is, but he is sure the truth will come out eventually. They stay silent as they each take turns to look at the other and then the sky again. 

The moon is hanging in the middle of the sky, burning down the surrounding stars by its brightness. It’s almost full moon, Niall can feel the extra energy flowing through his veins. There are only a few things that could make this night better. One of them is a cup of steaming hot chocolate milk and the other is a honest confession of a gobsmacked Louis. 

“Fuck it.” Louis swears under his breath as he stands up by the edge and takes a few steps back. Louis winks Niall over and Niall follows the older boy until they are standing right in front of each other. 

“I was the reason you moved in with us.” Louis says, his voice so soft Niall can barely hear it. “The first time I saw you, I felt something that I have never felt before. I needed to know if you were trustworthy enough and asked you to do stuff I wouldn’t even have done for someone.” Louis smiles. Niall feels his throat closing a little, the words Louis is saying having a really big impact on his train of thought. 

“I guess that I liked you ever since the moment you entered this apartment, game plan in hand and face so proud.” Louis’ smiles widens at the memory. “It killed me to see you grow so.. uh.. close with Marcel?” The last bit comes out as more of a question but Niall doesn’t interrupt. “I just.. damn it. I just really really like you and I kind of wish you like me too.” Louis says, looking at his shoes. 

Niall is confused and a little shaken up. Did Louis just confess his love towards Niall and asked if Niall likes him back? Does Niall even like Louis? He would be a great catch, really sweet too now that Niall thinks about it. They could move in together and have breakfast in bed every morning just because they want to stare at each other a little longer. 

“I think I do.” Niall says as he looks up to see Louis already looking at him like he hung the stars. It goes a little fast and Niall barely knows how to properly respond because Louis presses his lips against Niall in a silent thank you. They keep the kiss English as they move towards each other. Niall’s heartbeat is rocking high and Louis’ is just a little behind. They take a little breather. 

“Boyfriend-wise?” Louis asks, mouth still so close to Niall’s they are still considered kissing. Niall smiles and pecks Louis’ closed lips. 

“Boyfriend-wise.” Niall says. Their lips reunite in heated passion as Louis slowly licks his way into Niall’s mouth. They dance together in hopes of exiting each other as the sky around them gets colder and darker. Not one of the boys notices it though, because right on the tip of their tongue is their special light that will always guide them home. For better or for worse. 

+

“I can't believe you have liked me since practically the first day of school.” Niall laughs as he lays underneath Louis’ sheets. Louis is brushing his teeth in the bathroom attached to his bedroom. Niall has already done so. They came downstairs only to find all the common rooms empty including Louis’ and Harry’s bedroom. Niall had looked at Louis in a silent question as Louis tilted his shoulders in unknown fashion. 

“I can’t believe you like me too.” Louis says as he closes the bathroom door and skips over towards Niall’s horizontal body. Louis steps in bed, wiggling his eyebrows at Niall, before he crawls over Niall and takes place behind him. Niall sits up a little so Louis can put one of his arms underneath his neck as the other one slings over his body. Niall lays back down and gets pulled into Louis’ chest a little more. 

“Sleep well princess.” Louis whispers and kisses Niall’s neck a few times before falling asleep with his face full of dyed blonde hair. And if you asked Louis, he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

+

Niall feels better than he has in years. There is a warm slightly taller body laying behind him, engulfing him with love and passion that runs so deep that Louis broke Niall before making him whole again. It might not be your average love story, but Niall wouldn’t change a thing. Niall understands why Louis felt the need to see if Niall was being real with them. It’s not like you find people with Niall’s background everyday. It also shows that Louis is really invested in him, which makes all of the sweet neck kisses, love murmurs and tons of sweat when they’re sleeping real. 

“You up?” Louis whispers into Niall’s ear. He places a little kiss on it afterwards as if he is saying sorry for disturbing the peace. Niall smiles and rolls around so he and Louis can look at each other. 

Louis looks like a proper model. His hair is fluffy and falls beautiful onto the pillow beneath his head. The light of outside shines like a halo around Louis’s body and Niall swears he hears angels sing. The thing Niall likes the most though, are those beautiful blue eyes staring at him in true wonder. Niall finds himself asking what he did to deserve this. He doesn’t find the answer, but he does find Louis lips to kiss. 

Louis kisses back and slowly but surely both of them are waking up. There bodies are touching head to toe, making it a little hot beneath the big covers. They touch each other on the body parts they have never felt before. Niall’s favourite spot in right over Louis’ beating heart. Louis’s favourite spot is Niall’s lower back because then he is sure all parts of Niall are safe. 

They part slowly, look at each other before laying down again. Niall’s upper body now almost on Louis’, his hand still over his heart. Niall moves his hand upwards to the tattoo aligning his chest. ‘It Is What It Is’. 

“Why did you get this?” Niall asks softly. Louis smiles and packs his head before laying his own hand over the one on his chest. It’s one of his favourite stories to tell because it shows just how irresponsible Louis was back in the day. He doesn’t have a lot of tattoos and the other ones are pretty much shit except from the dagger on his forearm, but that’s a whole other story.

“It’s a good story.” Louis starts, his hand brings Niall’s hand towards his face to boop Niall’s nose and they both giggle. “When I was younger, around fifteen, I started hanging out with people way older than me. They were experienced with almost everything in life, including drugs.” Niall takes a sharp breath, not liking where this is going. 

“I was stupid back then and let them peer pressure me into doing something. At first it was just weed, but sooner or later I was sniffing up lines of cocaine.” Louis folds his hand over Niall’s, signalling that it’s going to be okay. 

“Liam found out. Liam had been my best friend ever since kindergarten, bless him by the way. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t ever had thought about seeking for help to get a grip on my addiction.” Niall smiles as he pictures little Liam lecturing little Louis.

“He introduced me to Harry a few months into my recovery and I was like all riled up from the lack of drugs so I made the worst first impression on him. To this day he still likes to give me shit for that. Asshole,” The curse is light and impossible to believe. 

“Anyway, Liam, Harry and I became friends and of course we met Marcel, Edward and the others a little later on. I was being a shit towards Harry, because I felt like he was taking my best friend away. I had a little setback in my recovery and decided to do some heavy drugs. I woke up in the hospital.” Niall clenched his hand to show Louis support through the dark memory, silently relieved that Louis has a past on his own. 

“Liam was so mad at me and I was trying to make him see that it wasn’t really my fault. Liam gave me a giant lecture on responsibility after that comment, but eventually he sat down next to my bed and looked at me in all earnest. He said: “It Is What It Is, Louis, but from now on It Is is going to be better, wiser and happier.” Louis closes his eyes and sinks a little further into the mattress. There is no need for him to be afraid, he is with Niall. 

“It got way better since that day and I started truly befriending Harry. After my recovery was as good as finished I decided to get this tattoo. Originally there is supposed to be a butterfly like creature on the stomach with this text in the chest, but I just wanted the text. Harry got the butterfly a year later.” Louis smiles as he looks down to see Niall already looking at him. 

“Harry? Why didn’t Liam?” Niall says, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes a little angry. 

“Liam wasn’t into tattoos yet and when Harry heard about the original tattoo design he wanted the butterfly because, and I recite: “That day was the beginning of our friendship and I promise to be your friend forever.”” Louis closes his eyes and pecks Niall a kiss on his forehead. 

“Wait, I thought you and Harry had something a while back? I don’t know where I got it from, but,” Niall says, sitting up in a hurry. His face is cramped up with confusion and Louis can’t help but giggle at his boyfriend, yes, _boyfriend_. 

“Well me and Harry kind of have? We never made it official, it was more of a thing so we both wouldn’t be so lonely. We were together when we were single and together, on all other times we were friends.” Louis tries to explain. 

“Is it still-?” The younger boy asks, trying to leave the question open and less important then it is. Louis scoots forwards and both him and Niall fall down on the mattress a little closer to the edge. 

“No, we are together so me and Harry, no.” Louis says looking straight into Niall’s eyes. Niall nods his head, trying to understand, trying to trust those words. 

“Promise me.” He whispers, his mouth almost on Louis’. 

“I promise it, my lover.” And thus is Louis yet again granted with a kiss. 

+

“I am taking Niall shopping tomorrow, does anyone want to join us?” Louis asks as they are all seated at the dinner table. The girls are still in Paris with their parents and the Styles-Payne-Tomlinson’s all decided to have another dinner tonight and come to dinner with their kids the following night. Apparently something grand had happened the night of Polital, the event all the kids wanted to go to before Harry got kidnapped, and all of that information had been made public today. 

“I would like to go, need a new suit for the opening next week.” Edward says and Louis nods in conformation. “Will be back by half past four to make sure we are on time for dinner.” Edward adds. Niall doesn’t really know why Edward has to go with them. It’s not like Edward is a dick to him, but he is cold and distant and makes Niall feel judged. It’s unfair that someone who isn’t his boyfriend, yes, _boyfriend_ gets to have so much emotional power over him. 

On the other hand, he needs to get to know the people who are important to Louis in order to be a good boyfriend and Edward is one of them. It’ll be okay, Niall reassures himself, it’ll be just fine.

“Back to yesterday,” Harry starts after a few minutes of silence. “Are you all okay? Are we cool now?” He asks looking around the table. Niall looks at Louis and Louis looks back as he squeezes his hand under the table. They told each other that they’ll come out as soon as Niall has talked to Marcel and Louis to Harry. It’s common courtesy to do so. They may’ve ended up laughing at that. 

“We’re just fine.” Louis answers for everyone smiling at Harry. His eyes don’t soften like the way Louis usually does when talking to Harry. Harry seems to notice this too and looks a little caught if guard. He smiles though, signalling that everything is indeed okay,

For now.


	18. Worth It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger Warnings; REALLY GRAPHIC DETAILS ABOUT CHILD ABUSE, mentions of drug use, child neglect and child abuse. Nearing the end there is a flashback that people who are triggered by knife violence can better skip. (The flashback is italicised).**

Louis is a saint. Niall knows it isn’t much, but it’s a damn lot for him. All the jeans, shirts, jackets, coats, hats and underwear Louis had insisted on buying for him are a lot. In fact, they have been filling Niall’s closet with the newest clothes for over forty-five minutes now and aren’t even close to being done. Niall told Louis to please and not give him too much, but Louis shook his head and proceeded to buy yet another thick winter coat Niall would spent the next years worshipping. 

It rounds up to a total of £5.677, which if you ask Louis a fair decent amount to spare on a middle class wardrobe. Niall just shook his head and planted a big kiss on Louis lips when no one was looking. Niall is still rooming with Marcel and Louis is still with Harry, both have not yet talked to the other. Niall believes it’s better like this. Louis doesn’t need Niall’s whining around him all the time. 

“Okay, these people are going to finish this horrendous job.” Louis says when he walks back into Niall’s and Marcel’s combined walk-in closet. There are three little ones following him, in awe of the place and the people. Niall feels bad for the willing teenagers, even though he is most likely only a year older, but doesn’t stop them from taking over. He is quite done with unpacking, cutting away the unnecessary tags and folding the clothes. 

Louis motions for Niall to follow him. Niall, Liam and Harry follow Louis to Marcel’s and Niall’s bedroom. There are a few people Niall hasn’t ever seen before. There are three racks with suits surrounding some kind of small podium. Obviously a fitting. 

“Looks good.” Liam says, nodding his head and joining Edward and Marcel who are talking to what Niall assumes is the tailor. Judging by the tapeline hanging over his shoulders. Niall takes a deep breath and lets himself enjoy this moment. All six of them in a room, weeks from where they first started, behaving like a true group of friends. Niall feels at home. Louis always makes it feel like home.

“We need to get some new suits.” Louis says, a little louder than normal to grab the attention of the four guys in the corner too. They turn and look as Louis continues. “I had a call this afternoon and it’s time to celebrate.” 

Louis takes the bottle of rich champagne and shakes it a little before popping the lid. The champagne flows out, making all of the people in the room cheer. Louis hands the champagne back and let the male server deal with filling and sharing the glasses. 

“What are we cheering for?” Liam asks, after he takes a sip and smacks his lips a few times. Louis lifts up the left side of his mouth to show a smug smirk as he presses his own glass to his lips. He doesn’t sip. 

“We, my lovely friends, are going to the Polital.” Cheers erupt yet again and Niall is in awe when he sees Harry and Liam jumping up and down, hugging each other close. Marcel just smiles widely and clinks his glass with Louis’s before downing it completely. Hell, even Edward’s usual stare looks a little less murderous. Louis finds Niall and smiles that one private smile, that makes it look like Niall hung the stars.

Louis steps on the little podium first and the tailor is fast with dotting down his size. Louis didn’t care when the tailor told him to remove all his clothes. In fact, Louis almost ripped his clothes apart in excitement. Louis got a beautiful black suit with a somehow darker shade tie. Louis looked to die for. 

Edward steps up next and Niall is surprised to see that his upper body shows so much bones. You can see most of his ribs and his hipbones are also very prominent. Edward got a navy blue velvet suit with the same tie as Louis. 

Harry and Marcel both step onto the podium together. They tell the tailor that they have the exact same measurements except for the fact that Marcel is half an inch shorter than Harry. The tailor doesn’t believe them at all, and measures them both completely. The tailor wasn’t correct. Marcel got a gorgeous shade of blue with a fine print on the jacket and the same colour pants without the print. Harry on the other hand got a white suit, that looks a little big on his shoulders, but works absolutely phenomenal. They both don’t get ties.

Liam is next and works along with the tailor easily. Liam told the tailor that he likes plain suits and will most likely wear only a black suit to something as formal as the Polital. The tailor just nodded and smiles knowingly before handing Liam a velvet red suit, who fit him like no other suit ever could. Heck, Niall even felt something tingle. 

“Okay, Horan, you’re next!” Louis screams in his ear. The boys have been sipping on champagne for the entire time now and there are already three bottles in the trash can. Niall and Liam are the only sober ones around. 

“No, thank you.” Niall says, nodding towards Louis. Niall would very much not like to stand on a little stage to then undress in front of every single person who hated his gut one time. He rather stays low and in the back. 

“If you are going to the Polital. You need a suit.” The tailor says, before winking Niall over with his free hand. Niall shakes his head and tilts his shoulders in relaxed fashion. Good thing he isn’t going then. 

Edward however doesn't know that and pulls Niall to the podium. He steps of it and leaves Niall on the podium, alone. Niall can feel everyone watching him. The tailor’s eyes glance over him and his face confronts in one of horror. Niall has started shaking lightly. Hopefully, Louis will pull him off soon.

“Well Horan, time to undress!” Harry’s woos loudly. The rest cheers along with him trying to edge Niall to undress. The world is slightly blurred, Niall feels the tears welling up in his eyes. These people aren’t his friends. These people just took him in, made him trust him only to break him apart. Niall closes his eyes in the hopes to disappear. 

“Niall, sweetheart,” Louis starts, putting his glass of champagne on the table next to him. It’s a little uncoordinated and falls over, content spilling everywhere. That is how Niall feels. It feels as of his insides are overflowing, breaking the glass that is his skin. His blood is flowing over the floor and Niall feel’s empty. So empty. 

Unloved. 

“You need a suit to go with me!” Louis says, trying to walk to Niall in a straight line but failing hard. The blood is flowing in reverse now, slowly filling up Niall’s broken body again. Niall turns to Louis. His arms folded in front of his body to protect his intestines. Louis wants to go with him?

“It’s next weekend, c’mon, undress!” Louis cheers. Niall smiles as he watches the small brown haired boy jump around the room in his underwear. Louis is shining. His skin is glowing, his eyes are sparkling. Niall wants to fall face flat on the floor and cry out in happiness, because Louis looks happy and that’s a precious sight. 

Niall undresses slowly. He lifts the white shirt over his head and hears the small intakes of breath. His chest is covered in faded bruises and his back has knife marks, belt bruises and more painful looking scars. Niall’s back was his mother’s and father’s favourite spot to hurt. 

Instead of stopping and running out of the room Niall takes off his jeans and steps out of them. His legs are relatively small compared with the rest of his body. Niall thankfully doesn’t have a lot of bruises there. Just a large cut that still hasn’t healed properly. Niall still remembers that day well. 

The boys have all disappeared from his view and Niall can only watch as the tailor looks behind him. Eventually he moves closer to Niall, measuring tape in his hand. He takes notes of Niall’s measurements just as he did with everyone else and then reverts back to his large amount of suits. Niall wants to look back to the boys he knows are watching him with wide eyes, but he doesn't want to see the disappointment in Louis’ eyes. Beautiful Louis who was smiling seconds ago.

“Louis.” The tailor says turning away from his suits. His mouth is cramped and his eyes are apologetic as he clears his throat. “I don’t have anything in his size.” 

Niall lets his head drop in shame as he hears Louis click his tongue. Louis despises him, Niall is sure of it. What was he thinking about? Showing his awful body to the most beautiful people he has ever seen? Niall swallows the lump in his throat and starts to dress himself.

“That’s okay. I’m sure we can figure something out.” Louis says, faking the light laughter behind it. 

Niall runs out of the room when he is dressed. 

No one calls him back. 

+

Niall finds himself standing in front of the town’s police station forty five minutes after he left the room. It’s a long walk down to the city centre and since it’s almost dark now the roads are a little harder to find than in bright daylight. Niall first stopped and turned to walk to Nuxa’s, but Niall eventually turned back when he realised that there is where they would look for him in a matter of minutes.

He walked down on a slow pace, almost willing himself to stop walking and turn back to school. The gates for curfew will be closed in half an hour and Niall is forty-five minutes away. He’ll be in a lot of trouble if he ever gets back. 

Niall walks into the police station, with his head held high. He is here to get answers. He is here to not be ignored. He is here to get his justice. 

“Hello sir, welcome to our police station. May I help you with something?” The man behind the counter asks Niall. Niall smiles and nods his head. 

“I would appreciate it if you could arrest my mother for neglect, drug abuse and child abuse.” Niall says. The man seems shocked by Niall’s cold tone, speaking those emotional words, but Niall doesn't care. Niall isn’t here to fuck around. Niall is here to get his mother behind those bars. 

“How about I get you an officer so you can tell him your story and they can decide on what to do next?” Niall nods eagerly. “Can I contact anyone to update you about your whereabouts?” The man asks, grabbing the phone that’s next to his computer screen. 

“Could you be so kind and contact my school. I won’t get back until tomorrow morning. It’s Kingsdale Academy.” Niall says, a small smile on his lips. He feels quite proud of handling these things properly. 

“Who am I contacting for?”

“Niall Horan.” Niall answers. “Born on the thirteenth of September 1993.” 

The man dials the school’s number and motions for another officer to handle Niall. The woman looks like she just walked out of high fashion magazine. Her hair is pulled tight in a ponytail and her lips are painted the same colour red. She would definitely by Niall’s type if he, you know, swung that way. 

“Hello, my name is Amber.” She says, smiling kindly. Niall grabs her dainty hand and shakes it a little longer than usual. He is awestruck. 

“Niall.” He murmurs, before he lets go and plants his hand on top of his shoulder. A nervous tick of him. 

“Please follow me. We’ll talk privately.” She says nodding towards the hallway leading further into the station. Niall follows her through the corridor and sits himself down at a little table. It’s an interrogation room. There is a little camera in the left corner and on the other side there is a wide mirror. Niall adverts his gaze towards Amber, because he can’t seem to look at himself. 

“So you want to press chargers against your mother?” Amber is sitting in front of him. Her hands wavering above the keyboard. Niall nods as an answer and the woman starts typing up a report. 

“Niall James Horan, born on 13 September 1993. Pressing charges against his mother, Clare.” The woman says in the just started recording tape. She turns to Niall and smiles. “Please, tell me.” 

Niall looks at the little black device. He swallows his pain and wills himself to start talking. He doesn't know that if what he is doing is correct. He doesn't know if this is the best way to cope with the anger inside of him. His friends saw something of his past. His friends left him running out of the room. Niall doesn't know what or why, but he knows he is angry. His mother is going to pay. 

“I had a brother. Ever since I was born I could tell I wasn’t wanted. My father occasionally beat me and my mother sometimes helped. She didn’t at first, but my father got into her head. They his me preferably with a belt.” 

Niall closes his eyes.

“When I was eight my brother and father disappeared from my life. I thought they died in a car accident, because my mother told me to. Turns out they didn’t die. Well, my brother eventually did. My father is now behind bars.” 

Niall opens his eyes and looks at the camera. 

“My mother became depressed and got those stupid little blue pills from her doctor. They made her forget me. They made her dead to this world. It wasn’t fucking fair!” 

Niall clenches his fists. He needs to distance himself from those pills.

“My mom beat me and cut me up when her head cleared a little. Everyone despises me, they think I killed them. They think I killed my father and brother. It’s not my fault, I promise.” 

Niall’s heart is clenching. It’s almost as if it is trying to squeeze the sadness out of him. He feels thankful for that, but it’s not his heart’s job to do so. His mind should be able to. 

“When is the last time she abused you?” Amber asks. Her voice is stricter than it was before Niall’s little story. Niall purses his lips and reminds himself he is safe here. No one can and will hurt him. 

“About two and a half years ago. I left home as soon as I could and she had been too high for a good period of time before that too abuse me.” 

“Well, we can’t really press chargers against your mother for child abuse. There is a two years time stamp. Two and a half years means you waited to long and now you're too late.” 

“The time stamp on child neglect is actually seven years, so if you happen to have any proof of that then we could focus on that.” She says, her hand waving a round the air like it just didn’t take all of Niall’s confidence to talk about it. 

“I.. I don’t have any proof of child neglect.” Niall whispers. 

“Nothing? Not even hospital records or pictures so we can deem you unhealthy?” Amber closes the folder laying next to her and looks at Niall, desperation on her face. 

“The nearest hospital was too far away to walk to.” Niall says shaking his head. This is getting miserable. 

“How about the drug use? Can you tell me what pills she used?” 

“No,” Niall says, shaking his head fast out of absolute frustration. “No, but I have a few of them at my home.” 

“Did you get them from a doctor?” She asks, her body bowed forward. Niall nods his head.

“The school nurse gave them to me after I passed out. I was hit with a chair. I ended up seeing things for a good twenty four hours after taking the first pill.” Niall explains. The woman nods her head and purses her lips in thought.

“I have to disappoint.” She starts, closing the laptop and shutting off the recorder. Niall shakes his head in fear of the words that are still left unsaid. “If we could get her to confess about those pills she would go unharmed. It’s legal.” 

Niall stands up and leaves the room without Amber to tell him too. Niall has been defeated. He has been slammed to the ground and all his limbs are broken so he can’t come up even though he wants to. Niall is broken. His mind is scattered, his heart has shattered and his feelings battered. Life has no worth, not for him. 

Niall’s leg is hurting as he climbs up the small mountain his school is built on. The deep scar in his calf is burning against the harsh fabric of his trousers. Niall plants himself in the grass on the side of the road and pulls up his pants. He traces the scar lightly, hissing a little when it hurts.

_”Mom, please!” The eight year old begged. His mother was standing tall by his feet. Her eyes were faded, but the hate remained. Niall hates that look, the look that reminds him of what he has done. “I’m sorry, mama, please.” Niall says, his hands held up in submission. His mother laughed as she grabs the large kitchen knife of the counter. Niall lowers his head and turns around, sniffing as he goes._

_He hasn’t eaten in days. His mother too hooked on her blue pills to remember to leave some money on the table do Niall could buy groceries. The food in the cupboard is running low and Niall knows he shouldn't have touched it, but the hunger pains had taken over his mind. He was controlled by the devil within him as he disregarded his dying mother and started fending for himself. She found out._

_“Shirt up, boy.” Niall’s mother slurs. Niall takes off his shirt and closes his eyes to try snd remember his mother’s voice full of love. It’s completely hopeless and all that Niall could do was wait for his mother to draw some of his sinful blood._

_The knife hurts more than the belt, the belt hurts more than the whip and the whip hurts more than her hands. Niall has got a taste of every way and can say it with practiced ease. He normally doesn’t disobey near the kitchen, simply because it would remind his mother of the knife._

_The knife that is slowly crafting lines up and down his back, never close to his spine to keep him out of a hospital. Niall can feel the blood running down to his pants and the pain is now nothing more than a burning sensation. Niall squeezes his eyes shut and pretends that his hand is hurting to get his mind of his back. It doesn't work, it never does._

_Niall almost passes out twice and when his mother takes a little intermission, he finds the strength to push himself up a little. He hears his mother sigh deeply. Niall wants to run. He sees the open back door in front of his cut body and makes the decision within a split second. He is going to run, he is going to escape._

_Niall pushes himself up onto his legs and his mother is quick to come near him. The hand holding the knife far in front of her. Niall just turns towards the door and starts running. He didn't expect his mother to barge after him like she did and because if that poor judgement call his calf started hurting. Niall feel face forward into the grass a little later and when he stood back up his mother pushed the knife in the flesh if his leg. Niall was quick to run of, making the knife cut his entire calf in almost half._

Running away wasn't worth it.   
Pressing charges wasn't worth it.  
She isn't worth it. 

And he is just an extension of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that took long didn't it? I might wanna hurry along next time :))
> 
> also, buy flicker on iTunes and stream it on spotify!


	19. Louis' Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger Warning: Drug use and elements of depression**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> This is written from Louis' point of view.

Louis watches hopelessly as Niall barges out of the room. Louis wants to call out to him, beg him to stay, but he can’t. His throat is set and itchy because of the sight he was met with. Niall’s back is covered in bruises and marks that seem to be slowly fading and yet Louis, his boyfriend, hadn't noticed. What has Niall been through? Why did he have to? Why couldn't Louis open his fucking mouth to scream out for the frightened boy? 

“What just happened?” Liam says. Louis looks over and watches the tipsy boy try and sit down on one of the couches. Edward follows Liam by the seconds and even Harry looms over to the others. Louis turns to dismiss the tailor, only to see that he is already busy packing all his stuff. They are all shocked. Not broken like Niall, but shocked and shaken. 

“Louis,” Marcel says as he lays his hand on Louis’ left shoulder. Louis clenches his teeth as his eyes turn stone cold. If there is one person in this room that could've told Louis about Niall's condition it is Marcel. Stupid Marcel, who used Niall as benefit, stupid Marcel that didn't even utter a word about how broken Niall’s appearance truly is. Fuck. Marcel. “Should we go after him?” 

Louis turns around with a force that knocks Marcel’s hand off his shoulder. He faces Marcel, who is having trouble breathing. Louis wants to smash him against the wall and demand answers. He can’t do that though, so he settles for a hard slap. 

There are some loud screams in answer to the violence, but Louis only feels the need to do it again. 

“You could've said something!” Louis screams. Edward is pulling him out of Marcel’s personal space. Louis struggles in his hold. “Edward let me go.” Louis says. He needs his feet on the ground fast before he is going to lose it. To his luck, Edward plants him onto the ground and loosens his grip. Louis wipes his hand over his mouth and looks at Marcel. 

“Liam and Edward. Leave the room.” Louis says, not taking his eyes of Marcel. He can see the little bitch cowering. Louis smirks. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Liam says, looking in between Louis and Marcel to try and prove his point. Louis rolls his eyes.

“Harry is here, stupid fuck.” Louis sneers. Edward tuts and swats the back of his head. Louis barely feels anything. He does know he needs to tone it down, otherwise things won't turn out great after this. He still needs and wants his friends. 

“We’re in the living room. I will also escort them out.” Edward says, walking towards the tailor and his assistant to help them carry out there things in one time. Liam follows reluctantly. 

Louis moves over so Marcel and Harry can both sit down on the couch. Louis stands in front of them. He needs their outmost attention so he is going to do it by expressing his power. “I have to tell you both something.” He starts looking to the both of them. The boys don't seem very surprised. 

“I must say, Marcel. Niall wanted to talk to you, but since he ran off I think it’s better for me to intervene.” Louis says, nodding when he ends his sentence. “Me and Niall are boyfriends now.” Louis likes straight to the point. You can never go wrong with straight to the point. You can only hurt people's feelings a little bit, but they'll get over it. 

“Whatever we had has now officially stopped.” Louis says, looking at Harry, who nods and sits back. Louis smiles slightly, before looking over at Marcel. “You need to stop fucking around with Niall. He liked you, he likes me now. Stand back.” If he was a wolf he would’ve showed his teeth as a warning. Marcel just rolls his eyes and slinks back into the couch like his triplet. 

“Niall indeed liked me. Ruined that.” Marcel says, his face sad. Louis can't muster the respect to feel sorry for him. Harry on the other hand just sighs and rubs Marcel’s leg in comfort. Louis sniffs. 

“Well, I expect you to tell the ladies in the hallway. I’m going to find Niall.” Louis says, walking away on full speed. He walks past the Liam and Edward and goes straight to the kitchen to get some water to sober up completely. He checks the environment fast before standing on his toes to open one of the kitchen cabinets and grabbing the plastic box he has been wanting to put his hands on since Niall slept with Marcel. He pockets it and walks towards the elevator. 

Louis walks around the campus, trying to find his hurting boyfriend. He checks all the roofs, every party, every social catering he can think of. He then goes to Niall’s old room, every place on school that you still have excess to in the weekend before concluding that Niall isn’t on campus.

Louis jogs to the parking lot to retrieve his car. Niall doesn't have a car so he can't be that for away from campus. Louis decides to drive to Nuxa first to see if Niall ended up there, but he doesn't find him there and that's when Louis can feel the panic settling in his stomach. 

Niall is somewhere out there in his horrible clothes and his recently new shoes that already look as beat up as the other pair. He is milling around doing god knows what and Louis can't take this kind of loss of control. He needs to find Niall, before it gets too dark. 

Louis decided to drive down to the small town and try to spot Niall there. He is on his way down when he gets called by Liam. He puts him on Bluetooth and remains driving. 

“And?” Liam asks, his voice hopeful. Louis turns left. 

“Nothing yet. I’m almost in town.” Louis answers. Liam hums and sighs a little. There is something he is holding back and Louis doesn't know if it's for his or for Liam's safety. “What?” Louis asks, curious.

“You need to come back, Lou.” Liam says. Louis opens his mouth to protest, but stops when Liam starts talking again. “Our parents are coming for dinner, yeah? Also the gates closes for students in half an hour.” Liam reasons. Louis sighs.

“Just come back. Maybe he’ll be here soon too.” Liam says. Louis doesn't respond and ends the phone call. He drives around the town in full speed, trying to find Niall in time to get back, but he fails to do so. 

+

Louis hates having dinner with everyone's family but his own. His mother is busy filming and directing in America and couldn't make it to parent-student weekend. Luckily, Louis doesn't get his hopes up. He knows his is always welcomed in the Styles and Payne family, but it just isn’t him. It’s never him. It’s always a colder version of himself that needs to watch his every move. He can't fuck it up with them. He just can't.

Niall is also one of the reasons that makes sitting there so fucking irritating. The gate is now officially closed and Niall is nowhere to be seen. Louis thinks about calling the police to have them look for him, but he isn't sure if Niall would think that's betrayal. Calling the cops on your boyfriend isn't exactly something that is received with gratitude. He’ll just needs to search campus one more time and if he can't find Niall he needs to wake at the unforgiven hour of 6 o'clock to go out and look for him. 

Louis would wake up at six o'clock every morning for the rest of his life if that means he can wake up next to Niall.

It’s the feeling he gets from that thought that scares him.

+

Louis has trouble sleeping for two reasons. Harry is making a lot of noise trying to breath. His nose is stuffed so he keeps snoring loudly, waking up, rolling over and fall asleep again. It drives Louis insane, to the point of actually climbing out of bed to hit him with a pillow. Harry is not making this any easier than it could be.

On top of that, Niall still hasn’t returned where he belongs, which is right next to him. It makes Louis worried sick. The thought of the little scared boy in the hands of a criminal, or freezing to death when he sleeps under some bushes. The worst thing about it all is the fact that Louis is wrapped up with luxury and that there is nothing he can do to give Niall the same. He isn't out there looking for Niall. He isn't calling to police and record him missing. He isn't doing anything and he hates that he has to. 

Louis contemplates staying up all night and bolt out of the door as soon as it's six am, but he stays put and pops one pill. 

+

When Louis’ alarm goes off in the morning he is very disoriented. He never wakes up at 6 AM on a Monday morning. The school doesn't even open before 7 AM. He snoozes the alarm and rolls over. He can catch another five minutes, before he remembers what’s so fucking important. 

As he's almost asleep he remembers what happened a few hours ago and shots up. It’s still dark out, but that doesn't stop a very worried Louis from climbing out of bed and dressing himself in record time. He wakes Harry up in the progress and promises him he’ll call as soon as he finds him. Harry, Edward, Liam and Marcel have the opening of their new restaurant in London today and are required to be there before eight o'clock. Louis knows it’s going to be a hard day for them so in order to respect them and the keep the bond between them he lets them sleep in a little longer. 

He’ll call as soon as he finds Niall anyway. 

Louis runs to the elevator and is downstairs within seconds. He sees the gate being open by the security guard so he knows it's 6 AM on the dot. He greets the guards and steps into his car. He looks briefly at the passenger seat and reminds himself of the time he drove Niall to the party. Louis shakes his head as he remembers ordering Niall to take off his shoes. He has been such a dick to Niall. Niall deserves better. 

Louis is about to become better for him though. Louis speeds down to the town, the sky is slowly becoming brighter as he drives around. It’s cold outside and Niall could easily have a cold by now. Louis should've brought some warm clothes with him, but the only thing that's with him is an old blanket on the backseat. He hopes Niall is okay. Louis could take off all his clothes for him, if he needs to. 

Louis doesn't find Niall for a good two hours. It's when he's on his way back up the hill when he sees something unusual next to the road. At first he thinks it’s a dead dog, but when he gets closer he can make out Niall’s dirty blonde hair and petite frame. Louis stops within seconds, grabs the blanket off the backseat and jumps out. 

The temperature is thankfully rising as the day goes on, so Louis doesn't feel the need to cover up himself. He is by Niall’s side in seconds. Niall is puffing and coughing a little, bit seems to be asleep. There are tear stains on his cheeks that Louis wishes he could wipe away. Instead, he throws the blanket over Niall’s frame and watches on as the boy cuddles it closer to himself. Niall is cold, but not in immediate danger. 

Louis can breath. 

He picks Niall up bridal style and brings him over to his warm car. He carefully lays Niall down on the backseat. It’s obvious the boy is very tired as he sleeps right through the change of environment. Louis can't help but smile a little at the beautiful boy. Louis bows down and plats the lightest kiss on Niall’s forehead. Niall is safe and warm now. It’s all going to be fine. 

Louis sits down in the front seat and makes sure to crank the heat up as far as possible. He needs to get Niall as warm as soon as possible. Louis looks back and sees that his boyfriend is thankfully still asleep. He grabs his phone and dials Harry’s number. Harry picks up in seconds.

“Harry.” Harry’s voice is lower than usual since it's still quite early. 

“I found him.” Louis says, his voice soft and happy. How c an he not be? He found his heart again. He finally feels whole again. 

“Good, good.” Harry says dismissively. Louis knows Harry has a lot on his plate right now, but sometimes the boy just needs to focus on one thing at a time. Right now that should be Louis and Niall. “Where?” 

“Next to the road on the grass.” Louis says. Harry is talking with someone else on the same side of the phone as him and Louis has never felt less important. Harry needs to get his shit together. 

“Hmm,” Harry hums. Louis can hear that Harry has removed him from his ear and he doesn't know what to do exactly. Did Harry put him in speaker? “Are you bringing him here?” Harry asks eventually. 

Louis sighs as looks back at the boy through his mirror. He doesn't want to have to share Niall with anyone yet. Him and Niall are finally one and to bring him back to that negative environment doesn't sound very appealing. “I don’t think so.” Louis answers truthfully. 

“Bring him to your spot and get him something warm at that restaurant close-by.” Harry says happily. Louis can hear Marcel and Liam arguing over the shades of colour of their ties. They are so spoiled. All of them, except Niall. 

“I’ll do that. I see you guys home by nine?” Louis says. Harry just hums and hangs up the phone is response. Louis scoffs and turns off his phone. He doesn't need the world to break whatever moment Louis and Niall are going to have as soon as he wakes up. 

Louis starts the car and drives further up the hill than the school is at. There is a beautiful place that overlooks the city where you can park your car. It's mostly dead by this time of day, which only pleases Louis. First, he drives by the little restaurant called ‘The Top’ and, very reluctantly, leaves the car to get him and Niall some soup and something to drink. 

Niall stays put all the way to the parking lot on top of the hill and even then doesn't react when Louis stops the car abruptly. It may have been in attempt to wake the boy up, but he failed miserably. The only good thing about this is that Louis feels as home as soon as he is looking down on the town below. The lights are still on, seeing that the sky is still a little dark here and there. It creates a beautiful and magical glow. Louis wishes Niall would be awake to see it, but he doesn't have the hard to actually wake the boy. 

Louis doesn't know what Niall has been doing since he left the building and it could be nothing or it could be a whole lot of something. Seeing that the boy is this tired, it gives Louis an uneasy feeling. What if something terrible had happened he wasn't there to at least help Niall trough it? Why did Niall feel the need to lay down next to the road and fall asleep there? Did he fall asleep there on purpose? Did he lose conscious? 

Louis lays his head down on top of the steering wheel and closes his eyes. He is making himself crazy. The though of something happening to Niall without Louis being there makes him feel so powerless. Louis doesn't know how Niall does it day by day. Live life in the back and silently.

Louis has fucked up many times since Niall came living with them. He remembers the nightmares he caused upon himself because of that night where he watched Niall cry himself sick on the floor of the office. It was a horrible thing to live through, because deep down Louis knew Niall didn't deserve any of it. Louis’ head got the best of him however and wanted to make Niall pay for everything that Harry had been through. It wasn't Niall’s fault though. All of it was on Louis.

If Louis hadn't caused so much damage to Niall they could've been together as soon as Niall appeared in the elevator that wonderful day. Louis, however, fucked up so much Niall felt the need to seek love and companionship by Marcel. Marcel who is already with Vera. Marcel that used and abused Niall just like Louis did, but instead of getting mad at Niall for making that mistake he acknowledged his wrongdoings. Something Louis could never do, and would've never done if it wasn’t for Niall. 

Niall, who brights up Louis’ dark and demanding world with just one look. Niall, who is soft when you cuddle him and strong when you yell at him. Niall, who has been through more than the triplets, Liam and Louis combined that still manages to take Louis’ breath away with one smile. Niall, the broken boy laying on his backseat manoeuvring himself to each and every on of Louis’ thoughts. Niall, who is slowly waking up. 

“Uhh..” Niall whines when he tries to stretch himself in the confined space. He blinks a few times before sighing and closing his eyes for a longer moment of time. All of Louis' attention is on him. He isn't willing to miss a single thing. Louis watches as Niall’s eyes fly across the space, before he slowly sits up. Niall places his head in his hand for a few seconds before finding Louis seated in the front seat. 

His boy is awake. 

“Morning.” Louis smiles. Niall chuckles lightly before rubbing his eyes furiously. Louis hates the force of Niall’s hands and slowly takes a hold of his arms, stopping them from causing anymore damage. 

“Morning.” Niall answers, his eyes peering into Louis’ soul, making him feel restless and breathless. The amount of things Niall does to him is killing him. Louis motions for Niall to come sit on the passenger seat which he does immediately. Louis watches on as Niall looks down at the sight of the town beneath them. Niall’s eyes seem to light up before glancing over at Louis and then glancing back. His mouth is slightly agape and Louis desperately wants to place a kiss on those lips. 

Instead, he brings out the soup and hands Niall one box with a spoon. 

“I didn’t know what you’d like so I got you chicken soup.” Louis says, looking at the white plastic box in Niall’s hands. Niall nods and thanks Louis before opening it and digging in. Niall hasn't eaten dinner last night and it’s something you can easily notice by how fast he is eating his breakfast. Louis wishes he got him some more soup. 

“You want some of mine?” Louis asks. Niall looks unsure before grabbing the box from Louis and eating the rest if the food. Louis feels giddy, but ready to face whatever obstacle Niall has to face too. 

“We should talk.” Louis says. Louis wants to slap himself not one second afterwards, because what the fuck? Niall looks as scared as Louis would after hearing those words coming from someone you love. It’s nerve wrecking, and in this situation uncalled for. Louis needs to learn how to communicate. 

“Why is your back so black and bruised?” Louis asks. Louis watches as Niall face transformes from nervous to downright sad. Louis wishes he doesn't have to ask, but it’s definitely something they need to talk about. Rather now than never.

“Like I said,” Niall starts. His voice a little broken. “My mother and father don't love me. In fact, I don't think they ever did.” The words break Louis. His arms fall from his sides, his legs aren't one with his feet and sides anymore and his mouth has ran of to get away from his nose. 

Louis feels like a mosaic of broken pieces and can only imagine the true heartbreak Niall must have gone through. The though makes his sick. It makes him so mentally unstable that Louis can only grab the bottle of pills in his jacket and swallow one of them right in front of Niall's face. He needs this. He needs it. 

“Why did you do that?!” Niall screams. Niall’s hands are on Louis, trying to get a grip of him and the situation. Louis can do nothing as he watches Niall break down. “Why so you take those?!” Niall screams, banging his hands on Louis’ chest, but Louis doesn't feel anything as he watches the broken boy, break.


	20. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Trigger warnings:** light schizophrenia actually... and a dark abusing flashback (Niall's flashback)

The atmosphere in the car is tense. 

Niall can feel the unease seeping into his bones, making him still and stiff. His eyes are on fire and the skin surrounding it is dry. Blinking hurts, thinking hurts. Niall’s eyes glance around the dashboard in a desperate attempt to not look at Louis. Seeing Louis swallow a few of those pills with practiced ease made Niall’s skin scratch. 

The sky is slowly turning darker, ready to unleash a heavy storm that has been covered in the news for a few days now. It's strangely calm however and it clashes with Niall's energy. Niall is jumpy, uneven and chaotic. 

Niall lays his head down on the chair behind him. His small breakdown has caused his head to hurt. Niall really doesn't know what to do or how to feel. All he knows is that he doesn't want to be here. In a car. With a pill-popping lunatic. 

He opens the car door and steps out with great determination. 

"Niall?" Louis asks before Niall slams the door closed. Niall's lungs are getting harder and harder to fill. He needs to hold on to something. He needs something rational and logical reasoning to make sense of where he is right now. How did he even come here?

"Niall, I can explain.." Louis starts as he himself climbs out of the car. They're on top of the hill which means there is a lot of wind silencing their true emotions by damping their voices. "Niall?! Can you hear me?" Louis screams next. 

Louis walks over towards the anxious boy. Niall has gone do far to just walk around in silent while grinding his teeth and pulling his hair. His beautiful hair. Louis just want to hold him. "Niall?" Louis tries. "I'm sorry." 

Just those two words cause Niall to drop his hands from his head and turn towards the older boy. There is something off about him. His eyes can't look at Louis without pulling away every two seconds. He did stop grinding his teeth and pulling his hair however and Louis counts it as a small victory. Niall takes a step closer to Louis, daringly so. 

"You're sorry?!" Niall says, eyes unevenly big. He steps a few feet closer to Louis and points towards Louis' chest. "How fucking dare you?!" Niall screams, pushing Louis backwards. 

Niall has gone mad.

 

+

 

_“Louis, please sit down.”_

_Louis’ mom is sitting on their pretentious sofa and is pointing to the emprty spot next to her. His father is seated on the brown chair next to the coffee table. It has been sometime since he has seen his parents in one room together. In all his sixteen years of living he doesn’t remember seeing this a lot. They did come together during Christmas and sometimes during the summer, but in recent years his parents have stopped trying to compliment each other’s agendas. It makes Louis feel out of touch with reality, like what he is seeing is just another real-like dream or vision. He isn’t crazy though, he wouldn’t just picture his parents together. He sees much more realistic views when he gets in head._

_“It has come to our attention that you have been having some troubles lately.” His father starts. Louis sucks his cheeks inwards and rubs his now damp hands over the black skinny jeans he is wearing. Something doesn’t feel right. His larents haven’t bene home a lot since it started so they couldn’t have noticed it. Maybe the maid ran her mouth a bit to enthusiastically again? Louis shakes his head, he needs to find a way out of this conversation._

_His mother, bless her, notices her son’s distress and places a warm hand onto his thigh just like old times. She starts rubbing it up and down in circular motions to calm Louis down. “When did it start?” She whispers. Louis shakes his head in desperate attempt to create one of the nicer images. The ones where he is the only person around, jumping around in beautiful surroundings and silence. Oh, the silence, how much he loves the silence._

_”I don’t remember mom.” Louis hiccups. He burries his head into his mothers chest and feels her arms wrap around him. She hushes him and mutters sweet nothing until Louis’ blabbering stops and his tears dry on their own. His mother has always been a warm and inviting person whenever she was around. She does have the tendency to forget about her children once she is at her work though, which makes reaching out to her in desperate attempts to make her care from such a distance hard. Louis and his siblings don’t deserve any of that._

_Louis’ stone-cold father is silently waiting on his turn to speak. He never approved of Louis showing his true feelings, much rather just sit and talk business. He would not tell Louis to stop crying, laughing or screaming, but he would not endourage it either. Growing up with such opposites created a dangerous in balance however and now it’s time to pay the price. “We won’t let you play that role if you aren’t in the right mindset.” His father admits._

_So that’s why they’re here._

_”I don’t know what you want from me.” Louis says in all honesty. Louis has spend his entire summer calling and texting his parents to approve of him playing the lead role in an upcoming sitcom to officially start his acting career, but now it all could’ve been for nothing. To Louis it doesn’t seem fair, it isn’t fair. He has spend his entire life being surrounded by people who aren’t blood-related to him, listened to those people as of they actually held authority over him and now, when he is finally receiving the attention he as child deserves, he gets this. It isn’t fucking fair._

_”Calm down,” his mother tuts as she tries to lay him down against her again. He shakes her hands off of him and stands up in anger. His mother flinches away and tries to stand up too, but her husband signs that she shouldn’t. He’s curious to see to what extent Louis is willing to go to. “Lou -“_

_”Don’t ‘Lou’ me!” Louis says, shaking his head and clenching his teeth. He spins around a couple of times to try and burn of the excessive energy he has awakened by speeding up his heartbeat. There must be something he can do to kep the role, keep his planned out career path, keep his innocence. “You can’t just come here and tell me my career is off. I’ve worked so hard to even get that audition.” Louis looks directly into his father’s eyes. “Don’t you dare take that away from me!”_

_Louis stalks forward towards his seated father, but his mother is on her feet in seconds. She grabs Louis’ roght hand and pulls him towards her. Louis almost crashing into the coffee table in between them, but revives quickly and steps over it. He comes face to face to his mother. She seems almost shocked when he looks into her eyes._

_There is a lot of things Louis has never told anyone. He never told anyone about his reoccurring daydream about him killing every servant in this mainson and burning it to the ground. He has never told anyone about his obsession with the unreal and fantasy. He never told anyone he dreams of having someone to poke, to dominate, to control. He never told anyone about his great insecurities surrounding his body and personality. He never told anyone about his need to be loved._

_“Louis..” His mother starts slowly. Her eyes don’t leave Louis’. He has never felt more saved. Never felt this alive. His heart is racing, his lungs are filled, his blood is warm and his eyes are teary. “We have some medicine that the doctor gave us. It can help you.” She smiles. Her hands glide over his head down to his neck and come to rest on his shoulders. She is squeezing them slightly, shaking with passion to help her son recover from whatever she has been missing._

_She pulls him closer to her and promises to never let go again._

 

_+_

 

“You. Are. The. Most. Selfish. Thing.” Niall says accusingly while poking Louis’ chest with every word. There is a fire in his speech, an edge in his eyes. Louis has never felt so understood. He wants to hold Niall close and tell him that everything will be okay. Louis can't do that however, because Louis caused this and he doesn't know how to undo it.

Louis takes Niall's pointy finger in his hand and steps back slightly. He lets go when he notices that Niall is getting itchy. If he holds on any longer he might turn to Louis again. "I'm sorry, Niall." Louis starts. He lowers his head and shuffels his feet. "I just need you to understand. I need those pills." He whines.

Niall shakes his head, turns around and walks a few feet towards the restaurant. He then waits for a few seconds before turning back and jog back towards Louis. He stops right in front of the older boy, their noses almost touching. "That's what she told me." Niall says, voice filled with unshed tears.

"That's what she told me right before hitting me." Niall says again. His voice is getting softer. He bites on his bottom lip and pushes and locks his right jaw out and in its position. It's like he's falling apart. "She used it to justify hurting me, Louis!" Niall screams. 

"You don't need it." Niall says eventually after being calmed down. "You're just trying to justify doing drugs." Niall concludes. Louis looks up to Niall's face and sees his hurt written all over it. He wonders if this, what they have, what they want, will ever work.

 

+

 

_"That's it?" Louis asks. He looks over to his mother. Her eyes seem shallow and her mascara has run out a little because of the few years she wiped away. She nods her head a little and smiles. Louis knows that she cares. Up until she starts her new role, then it'll be hard to remember this has ever happened._

_Louis looks back at the plastic box in his hands. The bottle is orange and it has a white medical sticker on the front with his legal name on it. The blue long pills look rather innocent. Apparently only one to two of them a day can stop his mind from creating images that aren't really there. If Louis is lucky enough all this might even be a phase so he won't need to take these pills every single day for the rest of his life._

_The task itself seems pretty simple, but Louis doesn't know what his reactions to the pills might be. His father has been very pessimistic about the medicine, because people tend to get addicted to it easily. Louis isn't scared for that however because he hates swallowing medicine and rather deals with a little more pain than get attached to it. No, Louis is scared of how it will affect his daily life. Will it make him tired? Will it make him depressed? Will it want him to stop acting?_

_Only time will tell._

_"We trust you to take care of taking the medication twice day for the upcoming year on yourself." His father says standing up and walk over to in front of Louis. "We told Stacy about the medication and that you need to take it twice so she can sometimes check on you." He continues._

_"Let us know if it's working or not." He ends as he nods his head and motions to his wife to come and join him to again take off._

_"Yes, keep us updated sweetheart." His mother agrees as she stands up from the couch. Louis stands up as well and hugs his mother one more time for good measure. "I'll be home soon for a little while. The film is almost finished." His mother says as they part._

_Louis waves goodbye to his parents and watches on how all of the house's maids help and get his parents out of the door. Once the front doors shut close Louis closes his eyes and sways to the music of the silence surrounding him._

_He'll start using the medication tomorrow morning._

 

+

 

Louis is shaking in his shoes. His back his pulled tight and his eyes are focused on one point. "I'm not your mother Niall." Louis bites out. He needs those pills. He isn't addicted. 

"No, you aren't." Niall says nodding along.

"Yet." 

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Louis spits out as he watches a grin spread over Niall's face. Louis can feel the anger and disgust boiling in the pit of his stomach. 

"It means that you might not be like my mother yet, but I will never know if you'll eventually become her." Niall explains. Louis takes an actual step back at the filth and bullshit that tumbled out of Niall's mouth. 

"It sounds like you don't want to know me." Louis says, cutting his heart out of his chest and laying it in Niall's hands. 

Their first ever fight wasn't supposed to go like this. 

 

+

 

_Niall is seated on the floor next to the beer stained couch in the living room. His English homework is spread open in front of him. They are learning about punctuation, capitalisation and formatting. Niall likes this subject because he has this slight pet peeve about people not capitalisating words that obviously need to be capitalized._

_"Niall!" Niall head shots up when he hears his mother call out for him. She's still in her bedroom even though it's six o'clock at night. Niall needs to gather some food soon or he needs to go one day without again. "Come here." His mother screeches._

_Niall stands up quickly and runs up the stairs towards his mother's dusty bedroom. She is hidden under her covers as he walks in. There are several alcohol bottles on her night stand joined by little orange bottles with blue coloured pills. He wonders when his mother will ever run-out._

_"Ah there you are." His mother says looking at Niall dead on. "Mix the last of these bottles into this bottle," his mother demands pointing at the biggest bottle. "And then shake it a little so I can use it to swallow these dry pills." She says laying back down on the never washed bedsheets._

_Niall steps forward and does what his mother asked him to do. His mother might not look like a danger right now but when she somehow gets enough energy to get out of bed and downstairs she's the devil. She'll use every type of excuse to put her hands to use and punch, slap and pinch every inch of body she can find. It's better to stay on her good side._

_Niall mixes the bottom sips of every bottle on her nightstand into the biggest bottle and shakes it for a few seconds. He places the bottle back on the hard surface and watches on as his mother tries to grab the now filled bottle. Her hand slips and pushes the bottle of off the wooden surface however and Niall surges forward to try and save the bottle from hitting the ground._

_He succeeds._

_"You stupid boy!" His mother spits, sitting up as she hits Niall over his head five times. His mother grunts as she grabs the bottle out of her son's hands and opens the lid to drink it. Niall, now with tears in his eyes, slowly backs out of his old childhood bedroom and closes the door behind him. He doesn't need to see his mother popping back those pills whenever he passed the door._

_Next time he'll make sure to not put the bottle so close to the edge. He'll be better._

 

_+_

 

"Maybe it's better if we don't know each other." Niall says, his heart clenching in pain. "I can't be around someone who'll chose pills over me again." 

Niall's words feel like bullets steering through Louis' heart, pulling and breaking it apart. They haven't been together for long, in fact, they haven't been together for longer than a few days, but it certainly felt more than this.

"What do you mean?" Louis asks. His voice cracks on the end of his question, giving away more of his emotions than he wants. As soon as you give people the power to hurt you they will. Louis can't believe it. This isn't how Niall is supposed to be. This isn't the Niall who he fell in love with. Who is this?

Niall breathes out through a small 'o' formed by his lips. This could be one of the hardest things he ever has to do. Life isn't fair however and Niall needs to play his part. He needs to fuck something up. He needs to place the odds on his side. 

"I want to end us. Here. All of us." Niall says. His voice comes out unshaken and he gives himself a mental pat on his shoulder. 

Louis stays quiet for a long amount of time and Niall feels like he should leave about three times. He doesn't though, he stays put and waits on a response so he can leave with clearance and dignity. 

"Why?" Is all Louis can get out. Niall scrunches his eyebrows in confusion. It seems pretty logical to him. Niall isn't nmafe to be loved. Niall is made to be a lone-wolf. Niall needs to develop by himself and let go of his dream of sharing his life with someone.

Soulmates may exist, but there isn't always someone for everyone. Niall knows there isn't someone out there for him. It's been made pretty clear from the moment he has born to that Niall will never be enough to be treated with mutual respect and loved. 

Being in love or being loved isn't _his_ destiny. 

It is Louis'. 

"We're better apart." Niall concludes. Louis nods his head but doesn't answer Niall's vague comment. Instead Louis turns sideways and takes a look at the nature surrounding them. He might be heartbroken now, but it won't last forever. Pain never lasts forever.

Pain will fade away.

Pain will come and go.

"I will move back tomorrow and that will be the end of it." Niall adds on. Again Louis doesn't respond to Niall but keeps looking on as the sun slowly disappears behind the dark clouds. It's like his own heart being shadowed by the sadness seeping through him. 

They both understand however. No matter how hard they wanted to be, it wasn't their destiny to be so. 

Niall shudders and gulps down the fresh bundle of tears when he realises. He wasn't made to be loved.

He's unlovable.

 


	21. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger warnings: references to abuse**

It's been a full month since Niall has moved back in with Javier. Javier questioned him for a full half hour after he saw Niall staning in the doorway with his dodgy bag and teary eyes. Niall hasn't talked about why he left nor has he faced anyone curious of the break between the blond boy and the popular group. Even Hot Body shot Niall a look of confusion when Niall actively turned around to avoid the group of walking Gucci mannequins. 

Niall has been working from his room most days while skipping his classes and taking up more shifts at Nuxa. He only goes to the classes he feels like he needs the most, but he has yet to set foot in a class with one of his prior friends. People have noticed his absence, but thankfully no one feels to need to confront him about it. 

Leaving his friends who have done nothing but push him away since the moment he joined was harder than he expected. Louis refused to come out of his bedroom to say goodbye to Niall. Liam and Edward gave him a hug, but didn't seem too faced by it. Niall didn't have enough time to really get to know them which saddened him. 

The hardest part was when Niall turned to Harry and saw tears welling up in his eyes. Harry has stood by Niall since the beginning of time, he didn't feel the need to stab Niall in the back like his younger triplet. Niall gulped down his upcoming stream of words and tumbled into Harry's already open arms. Harry will be okay eventually, he already tackeld most of the effects of getting kidnapped. In that rate it'll only take seconds for Harry to forget about Niall and move on. 

Niall made have squeezed Harry a bit harder when he realises this.

Marcel gave Niall an awkward handshake as his goodbye. He also gave a sorry smiles but Niall didn't respond to any of his body language. The only great thing coming out from moving out is to forget what they have done and caused to him and move on. Marcel and his cheat scandal included.

Turns out Niall can't actually hide from his previous friends forever. He has gotten a letter in the mail this morning giving exact details of his father's trial. Niall will be one of the witnesses and so will the Styles triplets, which means they have to cross paths again. Niall can't not go to court. He needs his father behind bars for as long as possible, besides it has already been a month. It won't be as awkward as it could've been.

The court date is Tuesday, three days from now, and they assume it'll only take a few hours since there is a lot of evidence against Frank Styles. Press isn't invited to the sitting is named several times in the letter which confused Niall until he realised the Styles brothers are very well-known. He slept with Marcel Styles. He could sell that story. 

"Niall?" Javier asks, standing in the doorway of their bedroom. Niall turns to the brown haired boy and takes a long look at Javier's upper body. Even though Javier is annoying, he does have a great body. "Are you working tonight or do you want to go out?" He asks.

After two days of Niall's return Javier has dropped his questions and proceeded to try and get Niall to forget about it. He has asked Niall every day for the past month of he wants to go out. Niall has rejected every single time, but right now with no plans for tonight and a supid letter in his hands he is starting to change his mind. "Can we eat first?" Niall smiles.

"Of course!" Javier screams, a wide smile on his face. "Grab some clothes and meet me in half an hour. We're going out of town, so we don't stumble into the clones." Javier says pointing at Niall before leaving his post. Niall smiles and shakes his head before he puts away his letter and walks towards his closet.

It's time to start forgetting.

 

+

 

Tuesday comes quicker than Niall suspected that it'll do. Sunday he spend the entire day stuck on the couch in front of the sport channel with a massive headache. He talked with Javier more than he usually does and even talked a little about why he left the so called 'paradise above'. 

Monday he spend the morning making his homework for history and art class. The afternoon was spend serving people from his school he has never seen before smoothies. In the evening he spend hours and hours on end rememberinf things that his father have ever done. It was a tough, but Niall made it through and he is ready to process it and forget it.

Niall takes the buss to the city council hall. He is a little overdressed to sit in someone else's filth, but he is underdressed for the expensive cars his ex-friends and fellow witnesses took to the city hall. Javier tried lifting his spirit up a little by getting pancakes this morning and giving Niall an energised pep-talk. It managed to make Niall smiles, but it turned into a frown fast enough because of all the nerves flowing through his body. 

He is going to face his father today.

"Please follow me." A big man in a suit tells Niall when he reaches the court room he needs to be at. The man walks him to a wooden couch on the right side of the room. The jury is seated at the front and Niall can see the open space that's left for his father. Niall sits down and scoots further down. "Please remain quiet once the trial begins and come to the front when they call up witness number 1." The guy says eventually. Niall nods and waits for the rest to come in.

The hall is big and partly green. It's not what Niall predicted it to be. It looks nothing like it does on the TV and it's unsettling Niall. On top of that he has to see his father again and testify against him. He needs to tell a hall full of people things that have never left his memory. The law requires him to open himself up and be exposed to his biggest enemies. Niall wants to leave. 

Right when Niall is about to stand up and pull out of his duty Harry, Marcel, Edward and Louis walk in. Liam is nowhere to be found because he had an important dinner with his father and Zayn and Zayn's father. Louis spots him first right after the big man points towards the bench Niall is sitting on. Louis' face remains the same and Niall quickly looks back to the front of the hall. He hears people coming closer to him, but doesn't dare and look over. 

"I'll sit next to Blondie." Niall hears Harry say. Harry' voice nor manner has changes in the weeks apart and Niall lets out a little sigh in relief. Harry isn't angry at him for leaving. Harry is the same socially accepted boy he was before and Niall couldn't be happier. Harry is pressed against Niall's left side and Niall slowly takes this as an excuse to look over.

Marcel and Edward are both dressed in incredible black suits with red ties. Marcel has slicked his hair back in old fashion and put on his round glasses for once. Edward has his hair slicked back a little too and somehow it makes him look softer. Harry on the other hand is wearing a deep purple Gucci suit that'll make everyone but him look ridiculous. His hair is falling onto his shoulder and his warm sunglasses are laying on the tip of his nose. Niall regrets ever letting them go. 

"Are you okay?" Harry asks. He leans a little towards Niall so he can whisper it into his ear. Niall's eyes glide over the hall and focus on Louis who is looking right at him. Neither of them look away.

"I could be better. You?" Niall says looking back. Harry hasn't moved his head so their noses are touching when their heads come to rest in front of each other. Harry is looking into his eyes and winks suggestively. Niall laughs and places his forehead onto Harry's lips. 

Niall hears a loud door open behind him, but he doesn't want to let go of the warmth Harry provides him. Eventually, he figures he should sit back and so he does. 

His father looks horrible. He has dark circles under his eyes that stretch all the way to his cheeks. His hair has gotten longer and looks like it hasn't been washed in months. Frank's has also lost a shit ton of weight since the last time he saw him - when Niall visited him in the police station for answers. 

Harry nudges Niall's elbow. "He looks homeless." There is a light joking manner in his tone and it makes Niall smile a little himself. How did he ever think he'll get through without the gracious presence of Harry?

 

+

 

"I do remember the last time Frank came over." Marcel starts. Apparently they decided to start with the fourth witness instead of the first. "He and my father got into a fight. I don't remember what it was about, but I remember hearing them screaming."

Marcel shudders visibly. 

"Whenever my uncle came over we would hide in the basement so it took him some time to find us." Marcel takes a quick break.

"When he did find us he would make us do horrible and upsetting things. He would never hit us however. He made us repeat phrases like: 'My mom doesn't love me and I want my brothers to die.'."

 

+

 

"I remember this one time where he made me break my youngest brother's leg. I was playing around with water inside the house and spilled some in the kitchen." Edward says. The words so heavily depressed don't seem to becoming from the collected and cool boy saying it.

"He almost slipped when walking into the kitchen and told me he could've easily broken his leg." Edward looks over at the bench he previously sat on. Marcel hangs his head down low. "Of course, he got the idea of his own words."

"He dragged us three into the living room and placed Marcel on the coffee table, his right leg on the couch." Edward looks at the man being prosecuted. "He made me break it." 

"He made us lie about how Marcel's leg came to be." Edward shakes his head a few times in disbelief.

"He made me break it." Edward's voice goes breathy and high. 

 

+

 

"He had me locked in a basement like room. It was very dark and I could only see my feet and like a meter surrounding them." Harry says. He is recollectting the memories of when he was kidnapped. 

"He left me sitting in this chair for days on end with almost no water or food." Harry gulps. He loosens his tie a little. "I have never seen such hatred coming from him and that's a lot to say about the man who made my brother break my other brothers' leg." 

"It was literal hell. Once he showed my his face he never stopped talking about his fantasies of killing me and my brothers." Harry shudders. He pauses.

"He explained all of his fantasies down to every little detail. Which brother he would cut open first, which organs he would keep or sell and at what price." Harry stops.

 

+

 

"Why did you came to visit your father a few weeks back?" Frank's lawyer asks Niall. 

"I had a rough evening and wanted some answers. I had a lot of questions." Niall answers truthfully. 

"What did you ask him?" 

"I asked him why he has always disliked me and where my brother is. When I found out my brother died I asked him how he died and that's pretty much it." Niall shrugs. He barely feels any pressure. He has just got to say the truth. Besides, his father isn't even looig at him.

"He told me he new from my birth that I would never turn out to be like him and that's why he disliked me." Niall says looking at the lawyer. "He also said that my brother died in what most likely was a car accident, but he can't recall that. He did tell me he wanted me to die instead." 

 

+

 

Frank gets sentenced to two lifetimes in prison with no probation. Niall, Harry, Edward and Marcel all stand up to clap to the decision of the jury. Niall smiles as he watches his father being cuffed and led to a hallway by two guards. Pure relief washes over Niall as he realises there is nothing holding him back anymore. Everything he was ever afraid of has no way of catching up to him and knock him down again. His mother has left his life for good and by this jail sentence so has his father. 

Marcel, Edward, Harry and Niall also have been ordered to follow a twelve week program for mental recovery. The program is designed to help victims process and reevaluate whatever happened to them. If they like the program they can visit a therapist whenever they want for free, lasting their whole life. Niall has a freat feeling about that too. He has been wanting to talk to anyone but Jabier for a few days now, but he isn’t sure how to properly socialise. A therapist might be the answer to all these questions he keeps having.

Finally they have been givien the chance to let go of their past.

They are ready to process,

They are ready to forgive and let go.

They are ready to recover.

 

+

 

It's the morning after the great court date when Niall feels ready to finally phase the dining hall. Javier has bought bags and bags of groceries to keep Niall out of the dining hall for a long time. The thing is is that Niall has no friends except for Javier who already has his own friend group. It would be rude to intrude.

Niall has a new sense of determination however and he feels confident enough to walk into the hall, buy something and look around for an empty table. Maybe he'll even sit down. He's running late though so he quickly makes his way outside after saying goodbye to Javier. He makes his way over campus, his backpack filled with all the books he'll need for all of his classes today. 

People look at him. They have been doing that none-stop since they came to this school and Niall hopes it will pass soon. He looks down to his feet as he makes his way towards the dining hall. He barges through some people standing in front of the door opening and stumbles inside.

He takes a second to recover from almost falling and stands up straight. He takes a quick look around the dining hall only to find every single person looking back at him. It takes two seconds before people turn to their friends and start whispering loudly. Niall's eyes turn towards his usual table and he sees Louis looking straight at him, eyes wide. 

Niall shakes away the nerves and continues walking towards the counter. The walk there is unbearable long and Niall feels the eyes following him. He tries to walk as normal as possible but he is nearing his ex-table and the room is starting to tense up. He walks past the table without looking at them and practically runs the rest of the way to the food counter. He lets out a breath he didn't even know he was holding when he joins the queue. 

There are two girls in front of him whispering to each other but he can barely make out what they are saying. "They kicked his poor ass out." Is the only thing he picks up. He rolls his eyes in response and turns towards the menu cart hanging to the wall. 

After getting his milkshake and apple Niall turns away and walks back towards the entrance again. He walks slowly so he can take some time to look around and see if there happens to be an unsupervised table. He doesn't find one however and decides to just leave the dining hall for today.

He is nearing the most important table in the hall again and this time he sees that Louis and Harry are both looking at him. He looks away and tries to speed up. Just when he passed the table Louis stands up, making every head that had turned away in boredom look back at them again. Niall slows down. 

"Niall?" Louis calls. Niall slows down even more but he doesn't stop walking. "Niall do you want to sit here? We saved you a seat." Niall turns around, looks at Louis with a blank look on his face before looking to the empty spot in-between Harry and Louis. It looks good. Louis swallowing those pills look worse however so Niall shakes his head and turns back. 

"Niall, wait." Louis says walking towards Niall. He spins Niall around and faces him. Louis' bright eyes look at Niall's. His face is full of hope and remorse. Niall has never seen someone so naked. "I stopped, Niall I stopped." Louis begs 

Niall feels a great power within him. He has Louis Tomlinson, leader of their friendship leader of this school almost on his knees. Niall doesn't like it one bit. "You told me you needed them?" Niall questions.

"I do. I really do, but I figured I can lay off of them until I can tell you exactly why." Louis tries to explain. His eyebrows are knit together and there is a thin layer of sweat on his forehead. Niall smiles.

"Only if you promise me." Niall says. Head held high, his teeth showing.

"Promise." Louis agrees. He smiles back, sprinkles in his eyes. Hope. 

Niall walks back to the table with Louis and sits in between Harry and Louis. Liam and Harry welcome him back instantly, even though Niall still doesn't feel like being back again. Edward and Marcel both look at him and he nods to the both of them in silent forgiveness. He still has a long way to go, but with their help he took the first step.

In between his friends he truly does feel at home. Even though it has been a though road. He can take a little break, focus back on school and get this friendship thing down. He does feel confident as Louis catches his eyes and winks cheekily.

Maybe Niall is loveable after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the final chapter!  
> I spend a year and a half creating this story and it has been a true rollercoaster. I will come back to edit out all of the spelling and grammar mistakes, but the plot will remain the same.
> 
> Please please let me know if you liked the ending (it's my first time actually ending a story) let me know what part you did like and what part you didn't so I can grow as a writer!!
> 
> For all the people who are still here and have made it so far thank you so much for commenting, bookmarking, leaving kudo's and reading! You've been a true pleasure. 
> 
> I also want to give a special thank you to Morgane (DemiLune13, http://archiveofourown.org/users/DemiLune13/pseuds/DemiLune13) who has been so kind to translate this fic and have my back when I was at complete lost. Know that you'll always have me on your side. For anyone reading this, please check out her work, it's amazing.
> 
> Thank you for all the love that you've given or is yet to come. 
> 
> Hopefully I'll be back soon. 
> 
> XX Sigrid


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